


Crown and Sword

by ThePancake



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: 19th Century, Drama, Fantasy, Forbidden Love, M/M, Prince Yugi, Puzzleshipping, bodyguard atem, offershipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2019-08-25 00:35:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 46,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16650913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePancake/pseuds/ThePancake
Summary: Prince Yugi of Dareia is in love with his bodyguard Atem - but no one can know. Will they ever be together? Can Yugi protect his country from a possible war? How far will he go for his people and the one he loves? PUZZLESHIPPING. UPDATES EVERY MONTH.





	1. New Year's Ball

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome!
> 
> If you follow me on tumblr you probably already know about this "snippet collection" that has somehow turned into a story when I wasn't watching lol. This is a fun side project that includes a bunch of things I love: puzzleshipping, a 19th century inspired setting, and lots of drama. Enjoy!

Yugi did his best to enjoy the ball despite the decision that had been made earlier. It didn't really work.

He whirled through the sea of swooshing skirts and capes around him. In his arms he held a girl of his age in a teal dress and with blond, pinned-up hair. The music came to a fading halt and all the couples stopped and bowed to each other. Everyone clapped for the orchestra and its conductor.

"My prince, that was such a wonderful dance! May I have another?", the girl said with sparkling eyes. Yugi scratched his cheek.

"Actually, Lady Rebecca, I'm a bit exhausted …"

"Oh, of course! Let us have some hot punch, yes?", she said, linked her arm with his and pulled him off the dance floor. But a group of young women with lace fans and silken pouches blocked their way. They were all pouting and frowning.

"Rebecca, this is enough! This is your 8th dance with the prince tonight! Let others have a chance!", the black-haired girl in the middle said. Rebecca's grip around Yugi's arm tightened.

"Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you have to ruin my evening, Vivian!"

"You're the one ruining everyone else's evening! You're not his fiancée so you have no right to always act like this! Besides, if the prince weren't so kind he'd have pushed you away a long time ago …", Vivian said. Rebecca rushed towards her.

"You're lying! And who are you to say such things?! You're not his fiancée either …!"

As the discussion continued, Yugi stepped further and further away until he hurried through the crowd. He found a lonely spot between a statue and a painting and sighed. Everyone in the hall was smiling or laughing and Yugi didn't feel like pretending he was feeling just like them.

In some distance he saw Atem, leaning against a wall and sipping on his champaign. He wore his ceremonial uniform in blue with white pants and black boots. His black hair with the blond bangs and red tips was tied together in a ponytail.

He raised his glass at Yugi with a smile that wiped his worries away. Yugi approached him. Atem placed his drink on a nearby table and bowed with a hand on his heart.

"My prince", he said. "Once again quite popular with the ladies, it seems."

"Urgh, they will be the death of me, I swear", Yugi said and ruffled his spiky hair from the blond bangs to the purple tips. Despite the joking tone, Atem's brows were furrowed in concern.

"Is everything all right? Are you still worried about the mission …?", he whispered.

"Well … I will accept it of course. I just wish it weren't necessary …"

Atem played with the gold medal on his chest that marked him as the prince's Royal Protector.

"I wish I could relieve you from that burden. But all I can do is assure you that I will protect you no matter what happens, my prince."

The corners of Yugi's mouth curled upwards. Of course Atem did his best to make him feel safe. He always did …

"Well then … would you protect me from that unit of poofy skirts over there and … dance with me …?"

A pink tint appeared on Atem's cheeks.

"M-My prince, you know I don't dance at these balls. I'll only end up embarrassing you", he said.

"I don't think so. I've seen you dance before", Yugi said and chuckled. To the outside, Atem was always the man with the serious stare who never laughed and always rested a hand on his sword. Only Yugi and a few others knew he could also blush and stutter like this.

"Uhm … that was in private without hundreds of people watching …", Atem said.

"We can pretend it's just us …"

Atem chewed on his bottom lip. Yugi's chest fluttered with the hope of Atem accepting the suggestion. But both turned their heads at the sound of a bell. Near the orchestra stood a balding man.

"Now for the last song before we all head out for the Royal Lake! You all know the tradition: share the last dance of the year with someone special to thank them for their love, friendship or the kindness they paid you this year. So choose your partner …"

The crowd chattered and everyone asked another person to be that special someone for them. Some expected it, others gasped or blushed in surprise.

"My prince …! Where are you …?", Rebecca called. Yugi looked at Atem who's eyes were shifting over the floor. Disappointment punched Yugi in the stomach.

"Well, it was just an offer", Yugi said and wanted to walk away.

"My prince, please wait", Atem said. Yugi turned and saw Atem stretching out his gloved hand. Joy bubbled up inside Yugi. "May I have this dance?"

Arms linked, they walked towards the dance floor. Some whispered as the two passed.

"Isn't that Royal Protector Sennen? But he's never danced before …"

"And with the prince too! How unusual!"

"Quick, someone tell the prince's club of admirers! I need to see their silly faces!"

Like all the other couples, Yugi and Atem got into the starting position. Atem placed a hand on Yugi's lower back while Yugi rested his on Atem's shoulder.

Yugi's gaze fell on Rebecca and Vivian and the girls around them. Their jaws had all dropped, causing Yugi to grin. He looked at Atem and his expression showed nervousness.

"Just focus on me, Atem. No one else", Yugi whispered. A shy smile spread on Atem's face. The music started.

They began with the basic steps. To Atem's obvious relief, it was a slow piece. Still, his body was tensed up and his moves were wooden.

"There, you're doing great", Yugi said and felt Atem slightly relax.

"Should we try a spin?", he said and Yugi nodded. The performed the move and Yugi found himself back in Atem's arms. How well-trained they were … Atem was probably strong enough to carry him …

Their eyes locked. Atem's irises were red like a warm fire after a long walk in the snow. And what a perfect jawline and high cheekbones …!

To Yugi, everyone around them vanished, even the music faded into the background of his perception. Only he and the handsome man with the gold-brown skin across from him existed. Together they were floating over the floor. Yugi felt the need to be nearer to Atem, to close that gap of propriety between their upper bodies. From Atem's longing gaze Yugi knew that his bodyguard was feeling the same … He wanted to pull Yugi closer and Yugi would be more than happy to indulge the wish …

But before that could happen, the music ended and it was as if Yugi woke up from a wonderful dream. Yugi returned to the hall with its chandeliers and paintings and all the other people. Atem bowed and Yugi realised he should do the same. They clapped for the orchestra. Atem shook his head, as if he too, had to suppress something too wonderful to be true.

"I think it's time to set off now, my prince", he said.

"Y-Yes, of course."

They made their way through the crowd and into a chamber where a maid was ready to help Yugi into his white coat, lined with fur. Another maid put on his scarf and brought his outdoor gloves while a third one gave his boots a quick polish.

Atem put on his navy blue coat and feathered hat himself. He avoided Yugi's eyes as if he was ashamed of something. Maybe he had enjoyed the dance as much as Yugi …?

They stepped outside onto the stony veranda and a cold breeze greeted them. Behind a line of guards the other nobles were assembling as well and getting into their sleighs. At a statue, his mother was talking to an official who then withdrew. She wore a forest green dress under her grey coat. Her hands were hidden in a muff and her black, pinned-up hair was topped by a golden crown.

"There you are, dear. I saw you shared your last dance with Atem. That was very kind of you", she said.

"Yes. I guess it was", Yugi said and looked at Atem in some distance, holding the reins of his tall, white horse. Now he was the prince's Royal Protector again, with a serious stare and erect posture.

"Is everything all right?" His mother placed a palm on his arm. "Are you having second thoughts about the decision from earlier …?"

Yugi gulped. For a short time he had forgotten about it.

"No. I may be nervous about it but I want to do it. For Dareia. For our home."

His mother gave him a sad smile.

"I wish it weren't necessary", she said.

"Me too. But for now, let's just try to enjoy the evening." He put on a happier expression. "Are we ready yet? It's the same dawdling every year, right?"

His mother chuckled. There was still concern in her eyes but she seemed to agree on making the best out of the moment for now.

"That sounds like something someone _my_ age should say."

When everyone had assembled, Yugi and his mother got into the sleigh that was pulled by six horses. The other nobles would take the side paths while the one in the middle was reserved for royalty. The sleigh began to move and they rode past the barren, snow-capped trees, bushes and hedges.

They reached the gate to the outer parts that had been opened for the commoners like every year. They greeted Yugi and the queen with applause and Yugi waved at the smiling faces. His gaze fell on Atem, riding beside them.

He checked every direction, his brows furrowed in concentration. Royal guards were positioned everywhere and all the commoners had been checked for any weapons before entering. Yet, Atem displayed the same vigilance as always.

The sleigh came to a halt. They had reached the lake and the area was full of talking and laughing commoners. Some danced to the music of a band that played much more livelier songs than the orchestra at the palace. Others stood in line at food stands that spread the smells of sugary treats, fried meat, and fresh tea.

Near the jetty a stage had been built and decorated with fir branches. Yugi and his mother got out of the sleigh and entered the stage. Upon seeing them, the commoners cheered once more. Like the queen's bodyguard, Atem stood behind Yugi in a corner of the stage, one hand on his sword, the other behind his back.

The nobles were assembling in a restricted area to the left of the stage. As they walked there from their sleighs, the commoners admired their fine clothing and jewellery. A girl, sitting on her father's shoulders, pointed at Vivian's pink dress and said: "Look, daddy! What a pretty lady!"

Rebecca had already made her way to the front row and waved at Yugi. She wore an emerald green coat and bonnet and hid her hands in a beige-coloured muff. Yugi raised a hand at her, then rubbed his palms together. Despite his warm clothing he was freezing.

Thirty minutes before midnight, the trumpeters played a short fanfare. The band stopped playing and everyone went quiet. All eyes were on Yugi and his mother. The queen took a deep breath.

"Welcome nobles and commoners to this new year's celebration! Behind us lies a year of many challenges but also many successes …!", she said and held her speech, in which she listed many of the country's accomplishments. Yugi couldn't help but smile at those that he had worked to achieve as well. She left out some problematic issues but Yugi understood that at this event it was wiser to focus on the positive things. The people clapped when she had finished. "Now to the winner of the annual lantern contest. Once more, the children of the capital showed us how creative they are with all the wonderful designs they submitted. The most popular one this year has been built by Sonia of Red Leaf Elementary!"

Everyone applauded when a blond girl with pigtails stepped forward, holding her mother's hand and a round lantern that was bigger than her head. They entered the stage and both Yugi and the queen congratulated them. Yugi took the lantern Sonia offered and turned it in his hands. While the mothers talked, Yugi bent down to Sonia.

"So many stars … did you cut them all out by yourself?", Yugi said.

"Y-Yes, your highness", Sonia said, half-hidden behind her mother's skirt.

"You did that very well. Thank you for that beautiful lantern", Yugi said and smiled. Sonia blushed, then came forward and pointed at some of the stars.

"I … I also made some purple … because I heard that's your favourite colour, my prince!"

She told Yugi more about the lantern with sparkling eyes. She was in the middle of the story of how she had asked all the neighbours for colourful paper when her mother tapped her shoulder.

"Time to go, sweetie", she said and took Sonia's hand. Sonia waved at Yugi as they left the stage and disappeared into the crowd.

"He's so good with children! As my future husband should be!", Rebecca said and Yugi sighed.

"Be quiet, Rebecca! You're not engaged to him!", Vivian said and poked Rebecca with her elbow.

"Not yet, you mean!"

The two began to argue once more. Yugi and his mother walked down the jetty in front of them, he with the lantern and she with a lamp in their hands. The thick layer of ice on the lake had been cut open earlier today. At the shore, the water was already starting to freeze over again.

"We shall say good-bye to the old year like we welcome the new one: with hope and light", the queen said. She took the candle from inside the lamp and put it inside the lantern. Yugi bent down and placed it on the water. It floated towards the centre and the people cheered, then stepped forward to launch their lanterns as well. Soon the lake was full of many little lights, similar to the starry sky above them.

Yugi looked at the clock of the palace's bell tower in some distance. Only five more minutes. He and his mother returned to the stage.

"I'm sure Lady Rebecca and Lady Vivian have already thought of ways to lure you to the winter roses?", the queen said.

"I suppose so", Yugi said and rubbed his temple. To their right lay a secluded part of the gardens with many floral arches. They were blooming with flowers of a soft pink.

"It's just a silly custom to kiss someone under one of these in the night of the new year. Not a law", the queen said. "If you're uncomfortable with rejecting them I'm sure Atem will take care of that for you."

"Y-Yeah", Yugi said and turned his head. Atem was still scanning the crowd while everyone else was watching the bell tower. No one could deny how handsome he was. But his serious stare and taciturn attitude managed to scare off his potential admirers. Despite that, Yugi knew that there was no kinder or more caring person at the palace … or in the whole world …

"One more minute", the queen said and Yugi focussed on the clock like everyone else. The second hand was moving towards the number 12. Yugi couldn't help but smile.

"Three … two … one …!", it came from everyone. With the stroke of the bell everyone erupted in applause. The first fireworks shot into the sky and burst into thousands of glowing sparks. Blue, green, gold, red, and all shades in between lighted up the sky one after another for a short moment. Yugi and his mother hugged and wished each other a happy new year.

They left the stage and joined the other nobles. Rebecca appeared beside him and grabbed his arm.

"Happy New Year, my prince! May we take a walk?", she said with a broad smile.

"Well, I …"

Vivian appeared and smacked Rebecca's arm with her fan.

"How can you be so rude, Rebecca? I wanted to take a walk with the prince!"

"I was here first!"

Yugi chewed his bottom lip, wondering how to escape the two girls and the snickering nobles around them. Rebecca and Vivian stopped arguing when Atem approached them. He bowed before Yugi, one hand on his heart.

"My prince, there's a matter I need to talk to you about", he said. Rebecca and Vivian pouted.

"Surely it can't be _that_ important, Royal Protector Sennen", Rebecca said.

"I'm afraid it is, my ladies", Atem said and lightly grabbed Rebecca's wrist in a way that made her flinch.

"Well then", Yugi said and followed Atem towards the arches where many lovers were now gathering to exchange kisses.

"I assume that was a rescue operation and there is nothing to talk about?", Yugi said. Atem chuckled.

"Nothing serious at least. Was I correct to assume that you required a rescue?"

"Absolutely. I guess in that department my mother raised me a bit too well." Yugi sighed. "But anyway, is there something you're looking forward to this year?"

"Serving you, of course", Atem said. Yugi smirked.

"Apart from that?"

"Well … I know the reason you will travel to Kallias is a rather grim one. But of course I will accompany you and – if you allow me to say so – a part of me is looking forward to seeing the country I grew up in after four years", Atem said with a smile that hinted at happy memories. At least there was one positive thing to this mission.

"Do you miss Kallias a lot?"

"Sometimes. But it's fine. I found a new home … by your side, my prince", Atem said. Yugi played with his scarf, hoping to hide the blush of his cheeks. Yugi's gaze fell on the queen in some distance. He stopped and so did Atem.

"I'm nervous about that mission. It'll be the first time I'll accept such an important task. I hope I won't disappoint my mother … and everyone else … Otherwise …"

Yugi's gaze wandered over the crowd, both nobles and commoners. Just like it was Atem's duty to protect him it was Yugi's duty to protect his people. Yugi's heart felt heavy at the mere thought of all these smiles and laughs turning to into tears or screams of pain. He'd never let that happen …! But could he really be sure of that …?

"I have faith in you, my prince. Maybe my father can ease your concerns a little when you meet with him in a few days. And whatever happens … I'll be there for you", Atem said and the words warmed Yugi from within like a cup of hot chocolate.

"My prince, my prince …!", Rebecca and Vivian called and Yugi rolled his eyes. They gasped and attracted the attention of the other nobles. They all chuckled at Yugi and Atem. Yugi looked up and realised they were standing right under one of the rose arches. Yugi's cheeks glowed and so did Atem's.

"My, my! Looks like the Royal Protector gets two rewards from the prince tonight!"

"That would be inappropriate! Royal Protector Sennen is not a noble!"

"Oh hush, it's just new year's kiss!"

Yugi scratched his head, his thoughts moving back and forth. It would be against the etiquette …! But it was just a custom … and maybe his only chance to …

Atem took his hand and gave it a quick kiss. The nobles gave disappointed sounds and turned away. Yugi felt his intestines turn into stone. Atem cleared his throat.

"I believe that was the only acceptable solution", he whispered.

"Y-Yes. It was … acceptable", Yugi said. "Now excuse me, please."

Yugi walked away from him, fast enough so neither Rebecca nor Vivian could follow him. He reached a dark corner of the shore and leaned against a tree. He looked at his hand.

Atem's lips hadn't even touched his skin, only his gloves. He had felt nothing more than a hint of warmth. Curse these court rules! Curse Atem for always following them so closely! Curse himself for losing control of his emotions like this …!

He always managed to keep his feelings for Atem inside a cage but tonight they had broken free several times. He had to suppress them! It couldn't work out anyway. Yugi was a prince and Atem was his bodyguard. But no matter how often he told himself that, his heart always fluttered at the sight of Atem, whenever they sat next to each other and at the slightest touch. It was bliss and torture at the same time.

His bad conscience crawled down his spine. He shouldn't even be thinking any of it! What he felt was inappropriate at best and a sin at worst. Not to mention that there were a lot more important things to worry about right now. Like a possible war …

Yugi straightened his posture and took a deep breath. He had to do his best to protect his people. And for now he had to return to the party and put on a smile in order to not worry anyone. It was his duty as a prince.

He walked bath to the others, knowing this might be one of the last chances to pretend everything was all right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary  
> • Dareia: Yugi’s country  
> • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission


	2. Bad News

“My prince? Are you all right?”, Atem said. His gentle baritone voice sent a shiver down Yugi's spine like it often did. Yugi looked at his bodyguard beside him in the gently rocking carriage.

“Just a little uncomfortable. I don't like … this sort of thing. And they know”, Yugi said and played with the silvery ribbons that were attached to his blue, fur-lined coat.

“Don't worry, my prince. You're still their future king and they will honour you as such”, Atem said with a smile that Yugi couldn't help but return.

The sound of fanfares grew louder until the vehicle came to a halt. Atem checked his sword and pistol before he got off. Even though Yugi couldn't see it, he knew what was happening. Atem circled the carriage, made sure everything was safe and stopped next to the footman at Yugi's door. Only once Atem gave the sign, the servant opened it.

A cool breeze blew inside. Yugi took a deep breath, adjusted his coat and gloves, and stepped outside. Soldiers in blue frock coats lined the path to a big building of grey stone. A small orchestra was playing the national anthem.

A group of high-ranking officials, as Yugi knew by the small medals attached to their uniforms, was waiting for him. Leading them was a tall man with a grey beard and the same gold-brown skin as Atem. He and the others saluted Yugi.

“General Aknamkanon Sennen at your service, your highness. It's an honour to welcome you at Military Headquarters Alpha 12”, he said.

“Thank you, General.”

“I will show you around”, General Sennen said and gestured at the building behind him. Inside, he walked Yugi past paintings of former officials and introduced him to some of his colleagues. Yugi listened to introductions and shook hands while an assistant of his stood near him and took notes of everything that was being said.

Afterwards, they entered the inner courtyard. A unit of soldiers surrounded them in a square formation, replacing the usual squad of royal guards around Yugi. A few snowflakes were falling and being whirled around by the wind.

They passed soldiers who were training in sword fighting, shooting, and hand-to-hand-combat. General Sennen listed the techniques they were teaching and pointed out the instructors who were serving with their experience. They reached a tower.

“Have you ever witnessed a canon being shot, your highness?”, General Sennen said as they were ascending.

“No, never”, Yugi said a moment before they reached the top. A gust made everyone's coats flap around.

“We would like to change that if we may”, General Sennen said and presented Yugi with one of the engineers who had helped build the canons. He explained how they worked and gestured at the field before them that was covered in craters from the numerous exercises.

Everyone but the engineer and a few soldiers stepped back. They loaded the one of the canons, accompanied by the engineer yelling commands.

“Fire!”

BOOM.

The ground below them trembled, a cloud of smoke emerged and Yugi stumbled backwards. Almost simultaneously, he was caught and shielded by a blue cape. Yugi looked up at Atem and didn't know if his knees were wobbly because of the impact or his bodyguard's beautiful, crimson eyes.

“Is everything all right, my prince?”, he whispered with so much gentility it warmed Yugi from the inside.

“Y-Yes, I'm fine”, Yugi said. Atem loosened his grip and stepped back. Yugi still felt his arm around his shoulders. Oftentimes, Atem was so silent Yugi forgot he was even there. But he was and he was always ready to protect Yugi …

Yugi cleared his throat and looked at the new crater the shot had created. Everyone had a smile on their face and Yugi knew they were waiting for his appreciation.

“Thank you for the demonstration. It was very impressive”, Yugi said politely but lacking the enthusiasm everyone had expected.

After a few more conversations, General Sennen offered to return to the main complex with Yugi. Yugi accepted and a little later, they were once more making their way over the inner courtyard. The soldiers around them were armed with swords and muskets. While Yugi had seen royal guards with weapons all his life he hadn't quite comprehended that they were designed to take lives, not only defend, until …

“You don't seem pleased, your highness”, General Sennen said. Yugi gulped. Did this sort of attentiveness run in Atem's family?

“I know you're doing excellent work, General. I'm as pleased as a pacifist can be.”

“I understand your concerns, your highness. If it calms you, we'll be using our equipment and resources to _protect_ Dareia. Not to invade another country”, General Sennen said. “And I'm afraid that not all conflicts can be solved with diplomacy is a fact, even if it's a sad one.”

Yugi chewed on his bottom lip. He knew he wasn't here to engage in any discussions. Yet, his thoughts refused to be silent.

“Actually, a few months ago there was a gathering of philosophers at a university in Eurodokia and they came to the conclusion …”

Yugi stopped walking when he felt something different under his boot on the otherwise smooth ground. He looked down and saw a little, blue book under his shoe. Everyone else had frozen and gasped. Even Atem's eyes had widened.

“Who’s is that?!”, General Sennen hissed at the soldiers that surrounded them. He stomped towards a young man with dark, curly hair and a face as red as a strawberry. “Is it yours, cadet?!”

“Y-Yes, General”, he said, too scared to even try to lie.

“You dare carry such filth with you in the presence of the prince?! Apologise!”

“I'm deeply sorry, your highness!”, the soldier said and bowed. Everyone looked at Yugi. He had no idea what the little, blue book was about but it seemed to be a bad thing. He crossed his arms.

“I will look over it this once. But this better not happen again”, Yugi said to General Sennen.

“Of course not, your highness.” General Sennen turned to the soldier. “You better thank the prince for his benevolence!”

“Th-Thank you, your highness!”

The soldier bowed so deeply his hat almost fell off.

“Now back to the living quarters with you! I will decide on your punishment for disgracing us like this later. Dismissed!”, General Sennen said and the soldier marched away with wooden moves. General Sennen gestured at the building before them and they continued their way towards it. “I cannot apologise enough, your highness. Please believe me when I say that this doesn't reflect our soldiers' behaviour _at all_.”

“I would hope so.”

They walked inside, upstairs, and into the general's office rooms. One of Yugi's servants took off his coat and Yugi handed him his scarf and gloves. Only he, Atem and his father entered the general's main office. Yugi sat down across from him at his desk while Atem closed the door behind them. He would silently remain in a corner as usual.

On the walls hung different maps, one of them showing the continent and the countries surrounding it. A fire was crackling to Yugi's left.

“Your highness, feel free to skip the social niceties and get straight to the point of your visit”, General Sennen said with folded hands. Though Yugi had expected it from Atem's father, he wasn't used to such directness.

“Thank you”, he said. “Well then … if it comes to a war with Xanthos, how long would we last?”

Cold hit Yugi's core at those words and the fact that he was required to say them. A line had appeared between General Sennen's furrowed brows.

“In best case: a year. In worst case: six months.”

Yugi gulped. That was the answer he had feared.

“I see.”

“May I ask you: How high are the chances that it'll come to a war with Xanthos?”

Yugi glanced at one of the maps. To the north of the continent lay Xanthos, a nation five times bigger than all the countries of the continental alliance combined. He looked back at the general.

While his eyes were teal and not red like Atem's they shared the same clearness and determination. They were another indicator, beside the family's history of loyalty to the crown, that Yugi could trust him with the truth.

“I'm afraid it's a likely possibility”, Yugi said. “My mother, the queen, is corresponding every day with our allies of the continent and overseas. Even with the leader of Xanthos, trying to solve the conflict through diplomacy after all. Sadly, that endeavour doesn't seem to bear fruit.”

General Sennen took a deep breath through his nostrils.

“I'm worried to hear this. I'm sure the queen is doing everything in her power.”

“That she is”, Yugi said. The rings under her eyes and her tired smile were only a few proofs of that. “But there's still hope. I will soon travel to Kallias and try to convince the empress of aiding us. She has a better relation to Xanthos than all countries of the continental alliance. If I can convince her to be on our side, we can still prevent the worst.”

“So nothing is sure as of now?”, General Sennen said.

“Yes. For good and for bad.”

A faint smile played about General Sennen's lips.

“Thank you for your honest answer, your highness”, he said and turned to a small table behind himself. Yugi's gaze wandered to the map once more. A group of islands, ranging from tiny to big, to the continent's south east was labelled _Kallias_. It'd be a long journey …

“Here are the documents you requested, your highness”, General Sennen said and slid a thick folder to Yugi. General Sennen took a monocle from his breast pocket, placed it between his eyebrow and cheek bone, and began to talk Yugi through the different sections. He explained the factors they had considered and how they played into the calculations. Yugi had to suppress a shudder at seeing so many human lives being treated as mere numbers.

How many soldiers would die? How long would the supplies last? When would the city walls fall? The bad results only tightened the knot in his throat.

“I'm sorry it looks as grim as it does”, the general said when they had gone through everything within almost two hours. He placed the monocle back in his uniform's pocket and closed his copy of the folder.

“Well, there's no use in being afraid. Whatever comes, we'll face it with courage and dignity”, Yugi said. “Please hand the documents to one of my assistants. Is there any other issue that should be brought to my attention?”

“None, your highness. Thank you for your time”, General Sennen said. “But before you leave, may I have a word with the Royal Protector?”

He gestured at Atem who had been standing in a corner all this time. Despite that, he looked as alert as ever.

“You may”, Yugi said. General Sennen rang a small bell on his desk and a moment later a subordinate entered. While General Sennen gave her instructions about the documents, Yugi returned to the room next door.

As soon as he entered, his servant brought his coat, scarf, and gloves. Yugi peeked into the office as he was getting dressed. Atem and his father were standing across from each other.

“I assume you will accompany the prince to Kallias?”, General Sennen said.

“Yes, father.”

“Do you think you'll visit your mother?”

Atem's shoulders drooped slightly.

“Yes, I intend to go to her grave”, he said. General Sennen's eyes shifted over the floor.

“I know  it’ll be some time until you leave but please  remember to  bring her a bouquet of lilies. You know they were her favourites. And tell her … I miss her.”

“I will … I'll tell her that we both miss her”, Atem said. General Sennen’s expression hardened.

“I think you meant to say we _three_ miss her.”

Atem avoided his father’s gaze.

“Sure”, he mumbled. General Sennen sighed, then patted Atem's shoulder.

“I'm proud of you and your services to the prince. And your mother would be too”, he said. Atem gave a weak smile.

“Thank you.”

The servants gave Yugi's coat a quick brush and wiped his boots. A little later, he left the building with General Sennen and Atem at his sides. Again, soldiers lined the path to his carriage. When they had reached it, Yugi turned to General Sennen one last time.

“Thank you for the tour and for aiding us with your knowledge. You proved once again that you provide the country with strong and competent soldiers. Of course the latter is something I'm reminded of every day”, Yugi said and gestured at Atem. General Sennen's face lightened up. He saluted Yugi and so did his subordinates.

“It's an honour to serve you, your highness. Have a pleasant journey.”

Yugi entered the vehicle and Atem joined him from the other side. Once more, fanfares played as they started moving. Yugi leaned back and sighed, relieved that the appointment was over.

“You didn't need to say that to my father”, Atem said and only now Yugi noticed the pink stains on his cheeks.

“The truth needs to be said. I'm very grateful to have you by my side. You're the reason why I still feel safe despite … everything”, Yugi said. Atem turned to him with his eyes of a red that would warm Yugi in the deepest of snowstorms.

“I will always keep you save, my prince. No matter what happens”, he said and his voice was both as deep as thunder and gentle as velvet. If only it could be the first thing Yugi heard in the morning and the last one he heard at night …

Yugi cleared his throat and watched out of the window. They were passing a small forest of barren trees and a sign that pointed towards the capital where his next appointment would take place. In a small compartment one of his assistants had placed a file that contained the most important facts about that meeting. He took it out and opened it. It was blue, which reminded Yugi of something.

“Atem, the little, blue book that soldier dropped … what was that all about?”

“You don't know …?”

“No, I bluffed”, Yugi said and scratched his cheek. Atem rubbed his neck.

“It was a convincing bluff then. But of course it's beneath you to know such things …”

“To know what?”

“Well … these blue, little books … they're sold everywhere in the capital … They're really cheap and low-quality …”

“What's inside?”, Yugi said. Atem played with the small gold medal on his chest. He avoided Yugi's gaze.

“Well … pornography. It's really cheap pornography.”

A hot wave of embarrassment swept through Yugi. His eyes widened.

“Oh …! Now I understand why everyone … I feel so silly!”

“But your reaction was appropriate! Everyone knows that nobles and especially royalty are above such … vulgarities…”

“Y-Yes. Of course”, Yugi said and hid his face in his file. But his knees still felt wobbly at the thought of having been so close to a piece of pornography. And those were sold everywhere in the city? It had to be really easy for a commoner to acquire such a thing …

Yugi shook his head. What was he thinking?! He, a prince! It was more than indecent! It was a sin! He took a deep breath and began reading the words in front of him, preparing for the next item on today's schedule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary (updated)  
> • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
> • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia  
> • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
> • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia  
> • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent


	3. The Forbidden Little Book

The usual fanfares played when Yugi got out of the carriage. The crowd around him applauded and cheered and Yugi waved at them. A woman in a forest green skirt and grey blouse received him. Her black hair was pinned up and she wore a white lab coat like the six people around her. They all bowed before Yugi.

“Welcome to Red Leaf Hospital, your highness. Your visit is an honour. I'm Doctor Ishtar, chief of medicine”, she said.

“Thank you. I apologise for the tumult my visit is causing. I hope I'm not disturbing anyone's rest”, Yugi said but Dr Ishtar gave a calm smile.

“Don't worry, your highness. If anything, the anticipation for your visit has caused more smiles than usual.”

Inside, more beaming faces awaited him. Surrounded by royal guards, Dr Ishtar led him through a few wards into a research area. She explained some theories that had helped them find a cure for certain viruses and would be helpful for potential breakthroughs. Yugi looked through microscopes, watched some experiments and listened to explanations, even though he understood only little of the medical terms.

Everyone he talked to dropped hints about how a separate building for their research would be “most beneficial”. Yugi didn't decide this sort of thing by himself but after seeing how dedicated and professional the scientists were he was inclined to favour the idea.

As soon as they left the research area Yugi noticed a group of three young women with red scarves among the other onlookers and a few journalists with notepads and pens. The girls squealed, giggled, and pointed at him. Yugi ignored them. He was used to this sort of admiration from women, even though he never boasted about it.

Dr Ishtar was telling him about the history of the wing to their right. They passed another ward and through the glass doors Yugi could look inside. The patients were either sleeping in bed or being examined by doctors and nurses with surgical masks. The patients all had tired looks on their faces and their skin was covered in greenish and yellowish bumps. The sight caused Yugi a feeling of nausea.

“A highly contagious area. We best keep going, your highness”, Dr Ishtar said. For a moment they walked in silence. “I'm sorry you had to see this.”

“When I walk into a hospital I know I have to expect seeing illness”, Yugi said. He wished he could have done something for these people instead of just walking by. But he also knew that a doctor could do a lot more for them than a prince, no matter how much his visit might boost their spirits.

“The lack of antibiotics is especially harmful in these cases. We ration them already but since we can't expect new shipments from Xanthos any time soon …”, Dr Ishtar said. Yugi's organs tightened at those words.

“I understand. I, the queen, and everyone in our service are doing what we can to ease the tension between our countries.”

Dr Ishtar stopped and so did her colleagues, Yugi, and the royal guards. They, the onlookers and even the scarf girls were silent for a moment.

“Your highness … do we have to fear a war?”, Dr Ishtar said. The hallway was silent. Yugi saw the fear in the eyes of everyone around him. He knew he couldn't cause a panic by giving them the same answer as General Sennen. He put on a smile.

“Of course not”, he said. “Yes, there are a couple of disagreements but nothing that can't be solved through diplomacy. All we need is a little help from the empress of Kallias. And I'm sure you heard that I will journey there soon to take care of the problem.”

All the sighs and little laughs around him were both relief and a stab in the gut for Yugi. Dr Ishtar's expression softened as well.

“Please know that the people will miss you”, she said and they continued to walk. “If you still have time, may I show you the rest of the hospital grounds?”

Yugi glanced at his assistant behind him. She checked her pocket watch and nodded at Yugi.

“Please do”, he said. They left the building through a set of double doors. A breath of fresh, crisp air filled Yugi's lungs. The trees, bushes, and flower beds were barren and capped by snow, yet Yugi noticed the creative patterns they were arranged in. In spring the garden had to be full of colour and life.

Only few bushes were blossoming, among them winter roses. The pink petals reminded Yugi of his and Atem's almost-kiss a few weeks ago at the New Year's Ball. He rubbed the back of his hand and looked straight forward.

Yugi waved at a nurse and his patient in a wheelchair. They gasped in surprise and returned the gesture. The three girls with red scarves were still following the group as closely as the royal guards let them.

“Do you like cats, your highness?”, Dr Ishtar said as they passed a frozen pond.

“Uhm, yes. Why?”

“We have a cat house over there. Besides being excellent mousers, we found that many patients benefit from their company. So we set up a few rooms for them where people can visit”, Dr Ishtar said.

“That sounds wonderful. I'd love to see it.”

Royal guards secured the little redbrick house and entered it with Yugi, Dr Ishtar, and the others. They reached a hall with tall windows that let the sunshine in. Three shelves contained one cushion per compartment that served as cat beds. On half of them, cats had rolled up or were sleeping. Others were sitting on one of the couches, drinking from bowls or playing with small balls or ribbons. Most of them looked up when the group of people entered, others didn't care. There was something calm and peaceful about the room that Yugi noticed immediately.

“The ones on the sofas are usually the ones that enjoy attention the most”, Dr Ishtar said as the guards were positioning in each corner, at each window and each door.

“I see”, Yugi said and sat down next to a brown one with black stripes. It gave Yugi a curious look with its green eyes. “Hey there. May I pet you?”

Yugi slipped off his gloves and offered his hand. The cat sniffed it and when it didn't object, Yugi let a palm run over its soft fur.

“Aww, look at that. The cats love him too! And how couldn't they?”, one of the scarf girls said and giggled with her friends. Dr Ishtar took seat next to him and a moment later, a fluffy, auburn cat jumped on her lap.

“Seems like you're pretty popular here”, Yugi said.

“I admit, it's not only the patients who consider this place relaxing”, she said. For a while they chatted while more cats assembled around them, demanding attention. The green-eyed one soon sat down on Yugi's lap and purred non-stop.

Some tried to get the royal guards to pet them but they either ignored the cats or gently pushed them away. A few guards kept glancing at them, biting their lips and suppressing the wish to cuddle them. Atem was one of them. A black one nudged his legs over and over and Atem gave a silent sigh of unhappiness.

Yugi knew Atem loved cats. He had owned one as a child in Kallias. It had even been present in one of the family photos Atem had shown him once. If only Yugi could tell him to sit down next to him and enjoy the animals' company with him. But like so often, they couldn't be together despite being so close …

Atem stepped in front of one of the scarf girls who was trying to walk past the guards with a small box in her hands.

“Not one step further, miss”, Atem said.

“I … I just have a small gift for the prince.”

“For safety reasons, the prince can't accept gifts that haven't been thoroughly checked. We have neither the time nor have we brought the personnel to do so now. So please, step back.”

Her face turned red in anger.

“What's the big deal?! It's just a few cookies I made!”

“That could be laced with poison. Miss, these security measures exist for a reason. Please, step back.”

“Listen, I spent all afternoon yesterday-”

“And I don't care”, Atem said, louder. The other onlookers turned their heads and stopped their conversations. A few royal guards stepped closer in case their assistance became necessary. “As the prince's Royal Protector I'm responsible for his safety. And if I deem you a risk for that safety I will take measures to remove you from his vicinity. I'm asking you one last time: Please – step – back.”

He didn't move a muscle. The girl stared at Atem, her nostrils flared. Like most people, she couldn't counter his dominant presence.

“Fine!”, she said and stomped back to her friends. All three twisted their faces and whispered to each other, yet they were loud enough for people to hear them.

“Why does someone as kind and sweet as the prince have such a horrible person as his bodyguard?!”

“I don't like him one bit! Why is someone that rude allowed to be near the prince?!”

“I heard his father is a general, so there you go …”

Atem didn't react and just returned to his spot from before, as did the other guards. But Yugi clenched his teeth in anger. They had no idea how much hard work it had taken Atem to be allowed to become his bodyguard! How hard he worked every day, always alert and ready to save Yugi's life any second! That he had saved it before he had ever thought about becoming Yugi's Royal Protector! How dare they say such filthy words about someone who was both so strong and affectionate?!

“Excuse me. I need a breath of fresh air”, Yugi said, placed the green-eyed cat on a cushion beside him and stood up. The girls were still gossiping as he and Atem left the house through a back door. They reached a small backyard, enclosed by a red brick wall.

“Are you all right, my prince? You seem worried”, Atem said. Yugi hugged himself.

“Not worried. Mad”, he said. “They're the horrible ones! They have no idea what you do for me every day!”

Atem's eyes widened. He scratched his head.

“You don't need to be bothered, my prince. They just don't understand the concept of security.”

“But it does bother me! You're the kindest and most caring person I know! And they say such things about you …”

Yugi's cheeks glowed in indignation.

“My prince … I'm touched by your concern but I don't care what anyone says as long as I can serve you. Besides, scaring people away is part of my duty.”

Yugi chuckled. Warmth radiated from his chest like so often when he and Atem had a moment that only belonged to them.

_Clank!_

The sound came from around the corner. Atem placed a hand on his sword pummel and gestured Yugi to stay where he was. Atem sneaked around the corner but his posture relaxed.

“It's just another cat, my prince”, he said. The black one from before appeared around Atem's legs and meowed.

“Well, go ahead and pet it before it eats us. I know you love cats”, Yugi said. Atem couldn't suppress a grin.

“Thank you, my prince”, he said and knelt down. The cat closed its eyes as Atem's hand ran over its head and back. Yugi sat down on a bench and watched how gently Atem chucked the cat under its chin. It purred and Yugi couldn't blame it. Atem's touch was always so tender and careful, yet it made one feel so safe …

Yugi's eyes shifted over the floor. His jaw dropped when he saw something in front of the trash can beside him. It couldn't be …!

In the snow lay a small, blue book, the same kind the soldier from earlier had dropped! How did it get here? Who had wanted to throw it away? A doctor? A nurse? A patient? Did people really carry this sort of stuff around in a hospital? It didn't matter!

Yugi looked at Atem whose attention was still directed at the black cat at his feet. His heart was thudding against his chest. An idea came to his mind and he had only seconds to act on it.

He snatched the little book from the ground and stuffed it into his vest pocket under his coat. A moment later, Atem rose and turned around.

“As cute as the little guy is I don't want to steal your time”, he said and furrowed his brows. “Are you all right? Your face is all red, my prince.”

“Y-Yes, I'm fine”, Yugi said and took a deep breath to calm himself. But the blood in his veins was still tingling. He stood up and adjusted his clothes, making sure that the book wouldn't fall out. “Let's go back inside. I don't want to keep anyone waiting.”

 

“Are you _really_ all right, my prince?”, Atem said. They were sitting next to each other in the carriage.

“Y-Yes. Like I told you”, Yugi said, keeping the trembling in his voice to a minimum. He didn't understand it himself. Even during heated discussions that took place in public, Yugi always managed to remain calm and rational. But now he couldn't help but fidget with his gloves and coat and despite the cold, a few drops of sweat ran over his temple.

Maybe it was because now he was doing something forbidden. He might as well be smuggling a bomb into the palace! It'd be a scandal if anyone found out! Why did Atem have to be so watchful and notice that something was different?! Then again, he couldn't be mad at Atem for being his usual loving self …

Yugi looked out the window and saw how they were passing the golden gate to the palace. The U-shaped complex had three floors, pale yellow walls and a dark red roof. The carriage came to a halt at the entrance. Again, Atem got out first and when the door to Yugi's left opened he stepped out as well. Almost done … now he only had to bring his little secret into his rooms and then …

Yugi's knees wobbled, he tripped but was caught by Atem's arms. Yugi thought he had a sudden fever.

“Careful”, Atem said and Yugi felt his breath on his face.

“Th-Thank you”, Yugi said and ended the accidental hug. He checked his vest pocket. The book was still there. Phew …! “You're always so quick. I don't know how you do it.”

“Nothing a good bodyguard shouldn't be capable of”, Atem said and adjusted the small medal on his chest. The strong, well-trained chest Yugi had leaned against a few seconds ago … Yugi cleared his throat.

“Thank you for your service. You may retreat for now.”

Atem bowed with a hand on his heart.

“My prince.”

Yugi walked inside and upstairs into his personal wing. Servants opened the door for him and in the first hallway, two maids in grey dresses were already waiting. Yugi raised a hand to keep them at a safe distance.

“Just a moment. I need to take a few notes before I forget”, he said and rushed past them into his study. He closed the door behind himself and leaned against it. His shaky finger pulled the book out if his vest pocket. The thin cover had a few dog-ears and it was a little wet and muddy from the snow it had lain in. But surely it would dry after a few hours.

Yugi gulped. Could he risk it …?

He opened it slightly but shut it a second later. His pulse quickened. He hadn't seen much, only a drawing of two people, their naked bodies wrapped around each other. It really was …!

He dashed towards his desk and stuffed the book into back of one of the drawers. No one would find it here, right? No servant was allowed to enter unless it was to dust, sweep the floor or bring him a cup of tea. Not even his assistants were allowed to touch anything without his explicit consent. It was safe, it was safe …!

These thoughts calmed him enough to return to the maids. They took off his coat and Yugi handed them his scarf and gloves.

“Lord Shada is already waiting for you”, one of the maids said. Lord Shada taught Yugi the languages of the continent and the countries beyond. Nowadays they mostly focussed on Kallian in preparation for his mission. Despite its complicated grammar, Yugi had grown to like the language over the years. Time to focus on that!

“Very well. I'll see him immediately”, he said.

 

In the evening, Yugi sat at a round table with his mother, grandfather, Lord Shada, and a few other nobles. Everyone was holding cards in their hands. Some sipped at their wine glasses or nibbled on a pastries. Yugi played his last card and lost. He sighed.

“It's unlike you to lose that often, Prince Yugi”, his grandfather said three seats away from him.

“I'm afraid the prince has been rather distracted during his lessons as well”, Lord Shada, a bald man with blue eyes and mostly a serious expression, said. Yugi scratched his head. In his thoughts he had been with the little, blue book all day. He had even found excuses to return to his study to make sure it was still there.

“Is something wrong, dear?”, the queen beside Yugi said. He couldn't look her in the eyes.

“I guess I just didn't sleep so well”, he said. If they knew …!

Yugi watched the rest of the game while eating a little raspberry tart. One player after another dropped out until his grandfather won. Finally …!

“Congratulations. Good game”, Yugi said like all the others. He stood up and pushed the chair against the table. “Good night, lords and ladies. Mother.”

After everyone had wished him a good night Yugi left the room. He'd rather go straight to bed and spend time with his secret. But there was one last appointment waiting for him, one that he didn't want to give up despite his impatience.

He entered the library next door. Atem was sitting on a couch in a corner, surrounded by shelves that reached the roof. Even though he was wearing casual clothes, he stood up and bowed when Yugi approached him.

“I'm sorry to keep you waiting. It was a long game. I'm sure you would have enjoyed it too if those matches weren't exclusively for nobles”, Yugi said.

“I don't mind. Waiting for you is worth every second, my prince”, Atem said. Yugi's heart fluttered like a hummingbird. They sat down and Atem picked up the book from the low table in front of them. Tonight it was his turn to read and Yugi would get to listen to Atem's wonderful, deep voice …

“Last time the two sisters had met in the abandoned castle, right?”, Yugi said.

“Yes, and discussed what to do about that hunter”, Atem said and opened the book. He cleared his throat. “Chapter 8. On the following day …”

Yugi placed his elbow on the arm rest and leaned his cheek against his palm. He didn't pay much attention to the novel and enjoyed the view on Atem instead. He watched those perfectly shaped lips form words, marvelled at his handsome face, got lost in those eyes of the same colour as roses … If only Yugi could look at him forever … No person at the palace was more attractive than Atem … not only for his outer appearance but also for his loyalty and patience and tenderness … If only Yugi had no other duties and could spend all day with Atem …

The grandfather clock in the corner struck ten and made Yugi flinch. Already?

“What a shame”, Atem said and shut the book.

“Yeah … I'd love to know what happens next”, Yugi lied. “I'll read the rest of the chapter tomorrow night then.”

Atem left the novel on a window sill. He accompanied Yugi to the door to his chambers, even though his own were in a different part of the palace.

“Good night, my prince. Sleep well”, Atem said.

“You too. And thank you for reading”, Yugi said and for a moment they just smiled at each other. “Good night.”

Once inside his chambers, his servants helped him change into his pyjamas, washed his face and combed his hair. He lay down in bed but he had no intentions of falling asleep yet. He waited until the last servant had retreated and everything was quiet for half an hour.

Yugi got up and put on his slippers and robe. He sneaked through the corridors into his study, conscious of every little sound he made. He took the little blue book out of the drawer, stuffed it into his robe's pocket, and stole back into his bed room. After closing the door behind himself Yugi took a deep breath.

No one had seen him. Everything was quiet. He was still alone.

He turned the key in the lock and lit a candle on the bedside table. He sat down on the mattress with his legs crossed and pulled out the book. He held it in his trembling hands. By the gods, he really had it! A nervous laugh escaped his throat.

For a moment, Yugi thought about how wrong and sinful his actions were. He was a prince and had the duty to resist the temptations of the flesh! If he just tore it apart and threw it into a fire now, he could still maintain a clear conscience. But instead, he opened the book.

Yugi would almost have dropped it. Eyes wide, his heart thudded against his chest. The picture showed a naked man and woman. She was on all fours while the man was kneeling behind her. The page was titled “position of the week”. “Try it tonight!” and other, more vulgar lines were written around it.

Yugi gulped. So commoners knew different positions …? He had only learned about one when he had been educated on the matter: woman on her back, man on top of her, as little physical contact as possible. Yugi knew he should be disgusted at the thought of humans behaving like animals like this … but he wasn't. His breath deepened. If there were no expectations for him and his future wife to always remain calm and rational … why not forget about any sophistication for a night and become an animal …?

Yugi leafed through the rest of the book. The drawings were only messy sketches and nothing like a real painting. Many features didn't even seem anatomically correct. Then again, the buyers of these books probably didn't care.

Some pages were damaged or missing. There were three sections, one heterosexual and two homosexual but Yugi only cared for the first one. The drawings did it in several positions, some so unexpected it made Yugi's head dizzy. Some pleasured each other in ways that couldn't have anything to do with reproduction.

Instructions and tips were written underneath or beside the pictures. They used many words Yugi had never come across and he could only guess what they meant. Was there an entire language dedicated to this sort of thing …?

Heat pooled in Yugi's nether regions and despite the exhausting day he felt awake. He flinched when he felt his pants shift. He looked down on himself and covered his open mouth.

“Oh no …! Dammit …!”

He was sweating, both in excitement and embarrassment. This had happened regularly a few years back when his body had been in the middle of change from child to grown-up. He had believed this phase was over …! But he hadn't come upon anything like the little, blue book since then.

He knew what to do now, right? Step outside onto his balcony barefooted, tuck his hands under his arm pits, and endure the cold until it that urge went away. But the book in his hands made the alternative so much more appealing …

He silently asked the gods for forgiveness and felt ashamed for a moment. He then turned to the candle and blew it out, engulfing the room in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary  
>  • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
>  • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia  
>  • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
>  • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia  
>  • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent


	4. An Intimate Conversation

Yugi carried the little blue book with him at all times, fearing someone could find it otherwise. He smuggled it into his bedroom every night and for a little while he was drowning in excitement, arousal, and satisfaction. But soon afterwards, those emotions were tainted by the guilt of having failed the gods’ expectations for him. Yet, Yugi found himself unable to resist that craving and soon he had memorised every page of the book's first section.

“I'm a disgrace”, Yugi mumbled one morning as he was preparing himself for the day in his study. He placed the little, blue book into a leather folder and stuffed it with a few papers he wouldn't need today. He grabbed a few other files and left his chambers. He almost bumped into Atem when he turned around a corner.

“Good morning, my prince”, Atem said and bowed.

“G-Good morning.”

“Did you sleep badly again? You look tired.”

“Nothing to worry about, really”, Yugi said and wiped the corners of his eyes.

“I just wanted to ask if you'd still like to take your weekly ride after your meeting.”

“I'd love to. But it could take a while I'm afraid. There's a lot to talk about”, Yugi said and nodded at the folders in his arms.

“That's no issue at all. I'll be waiting for you, my prince”, Atem said with a smile that Yugi wished he could look at all day. He had to remind himself of where he was supposed to go.

“Then see you later”, Yugi said and walked past him. He followed more corridors into a conference room with a long table and a dozen chairs. Only his mother sat at the head of the table, his grandfather to her left.

“I'm sorry to keep you waiting”, Yugi said and took seat to the queen's right. A butler poured Yugi a cup of tea and withdrew. Yugi arranged his documents, the leather folder at the very bottom.

“We shall begin with some good news”, the queen said. “Lord Otogi will arrive from Kallias in a few weeks. Once he's here he can start teaching you about his country right away. He’s one of Kallias’ most skilled and experienced diplomats.”

“That's good news indeed”, Yugi said. The royal family of Dareia had few friends at the Kallian court and even fewer who had been willing to be Yugi's ally at the upcoming mission. As an island nation, Kallias's culture had developed differently from the continent's. There was a lot of knowledge books couldn't provide about customs and gestures and all the little nuances that differed from the continent.

“Are we sure we can trust Lord Otogi?”, his grandfather said to the queen. Her expression hardened.

“To an extent, yes.”

“You must admit that's not exactly reassuring”, his grandfather said as politely as possible. “Then again, how sure can we be when we talk about Kallians, not to mention their nobles … ”

“Can we be any surer within the continental alliance?”, Yugi said. “I think it were the Eurodokians who broke the trade agreement you worked out with them a few years ago?”

“That was different. Within the continent this happens once in a few years. In Kallias people are killed on a daily basis! The royal palace isn't known for nothing as the _court of a thousand daggers_. I've been there.”

“During the civil war. Which has been over for years now”, Yugi said and sighed. “Look, I'm not naïve. I know we have few friends in Kallias and that there is truth in your words. I'm also aware of the cultural differences between our countries. But I know what's at stake here and I refuse to let my fears or prejudices result in a war.”

His grandfather sipped on his tea and took a deep breath.

“I know you're strong and smart, Prince Yugi. I'm just worried about you and Dareia. Kallians aren't known for their loyalty.”

“Well, Atem is half Kallian. And you yourself have called him one of the finest and most loyal soldiers you've ever seen. Isn't that right?”, Yugi said.

“That it is”, his grandfather said and placed his cup on its saucer.

“I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about you as well”, the queen said. “But I also know the empress will only listen to the requests of another royal. Besides, you're careful, open-minded, and kind. I know the Kallians will believe I sent an angel to their court.”

Yugi's cheeks glowed and his fingers dug into the leather folder that contained his secret.

“H-How is the correspondence with the other nations going, mother?”

“Not well”, she said and picked up a letter in front of her. “Xanthos has been blocking shipments of metal to Eurodokia. Obviously, another provocation we can't give into. Eurodokia especially would be at a disadvantage if it came to an armed conflict. Most of the metal shipments were supposed to go into the few weapon factories they have.”

In the middle of the table, a map was spread out. Eurodokia lay at the western end of the continent. To its north lay a few islands that were territory of Xanthos. That was probably where they were withholding the shipments from overseas for some made-up reason.

General Sennen had estimated that Dareia would last a year in war under good circumstances – and Dareia was the best-equipped country of the continent. Then how quickly would Eurokia fall … ? Yugi didn't want to imagine the piles of corpses Xanthos would leave behind.

“Another reason why your mission becomes more important every day”, the queen said to Yugi. “You need to learn all you can from Lord Otogi about Kallias. Empress Mai is known to be … difficult so the advice from someone who knows her personally is even more valuable.”

Yugi's posture straightened.

“I'll do everything within my power to convince her of siding with the continental alliance, mother.”

“I'm sorry I have to put this burden on you”, the queen said and gently squeezed Yugi's arm. Now she gave him the concerned look of a mother. “I wish I could go myself. But I need to stay in close contact with the continent now and if it should come to a war …”

Her face twisted in worry. The imagination sent a cold shiver over Yugi's back. The continent had been at peace for 150 years … He had grown up believing it would always be like that …

“Well, there's no use in being afraid”, the queen said and turned to his grandfather. “We have more matters to talk about, I think?”

 

When the meeting was over, Yugi's mind was a swirl of numbers, facts, and names. He knew a ride would be perfect to clear his head. He changed into his riding attire and a purple coat. He stuffed the blue, little book into his vest pocket before making his way to the stables.

“My prince, my prince!”, two familiar voices called when Yugi was adjusting his gloves. From a balcony, Rebecca and Vivian were waving at him with broad grins. Yugi returned the gesture and kept walking before they could ask to accompany him.

Atem was already waiting in the stables. Their horses, a sand-coloured stallion for Yugi and a maroon mare for Atem, were saddled and bridled. They mounted them and trotted through the inner gardens, now and then meeting nobles who were taking a walk. Only once they had passed the gates to the outer gardens, the ride could really begin.

They spurred their horses and galloped. The paths were wider and longer and instead of barren bushes and flower beds there were only snow-capped trees. The icy wind sliced at Yugi's skin and he squinted his eyes. Now and then their horses gave a happy whinny at the speed. When they reached the Royal Lake they slowed down.

As always when he dismounted, Atem was there to cushion his fall by catching him by his hips. Usually, this made Yugi's heart skitter. But not today.

They walked along the shore of the frozen lake and stopped on a small, white bridge. Yugi soaked in the crisp air and leaned against the bannister. The snowy landscape, the blue sky looked so peaceful. Would they stay like this …?

“In a few months all the birds should return from the south. Then we can feed the ducks again”, Atem said.

“Hmm.”

Silence.

“Is something wrong, my prince?”, Atem said. Yugi sighed.

“So much”, he said. “If I fail in Kallias, there will be war. Every life, both commoners and nobles, even the cats we petted at the hospital … they all depend on me …”

Yugi hid his face in his hands. It was as if he was carrying a rock on his shoulders that would cause endless destruction if he dropped it.

“I can only imagine what the pressure must be like”, Atem said. “But I know you're smart and kind and strong and that noble from Kallias will teach you everything else.”

“But what if that's not enough?”, Yugi said and turned to him. “What if _I'm_ not enough?”

Atem's eyes were wide but a moment later his expression softened. He placed his hands on Yugi's upper arms and a pleasant shiver went through Yugi.

“My prince, I have faith in you. You're so hard-working and caring and everyone who knows you loves you. And whatever happens I'm here for you.”

Yugi swallowed the lump in his throat. He looked around but except for their horses they were alone.

“I know it might be inappropriate … but do you think you could … hold me …? Just for a moment”, Yugi whispered. Atem's cheeks flushed but he smiled.

“Of course.”

Both were hesitant in their moves and chuckled nervously but a moment later they had wrapped their arms around each other. Yugi leaned his cheek against Atem's shoulder and took a deep breath. Atem's body was so warm, his arms so strong, his scent so pleasant. The pressure seemed to ease and for a little while Atem carried that rock of responsibility with him.

No one, not even his mother and grandfather, were allowed to see his self-doubts. He couldn't risk them losing faith in him or neglecting their own duties to help him. Atem was the only person who was allowed to know the truth and he would never judge Yugi or think of him as weak.

“You know, it really must have been fate when …”, Yugi said, raised his head and found his face closer to Atem's than it had ever been. Yugi's heartbeat quickened. He could see every single one of Atem's eyelashes, even a few golden spots in his crimson irises, and a faint scar above his lips. His lips … a little chapped but of such gentle, little curves … What if Yugi …?

Atem ended the hug before he could finish the thought. The cold around Yugi returned. How silly of him! Just the imagination was scandalous! No, no, it was for the better like this … but then why did his inner suddenly feel so heavy?

“S-Say, are you looking forward to seeing Kallias again? It used to be your home, after all”, Yugi said. Atem only glanced at him, as if he too was feeling ashamed. Was it because he had had a similar thought …?

“Oh …! Y-Yes, of course. It's been four years … let's see if I'll recognise it”, Atem said with an insecure laugh.

Shortly after that, they returned to the palace. During the ride Yugi did his best to keep up the conversation about Atem's life in Kallias. Over Atem's favourite food, past fashion trends, and stories of funny misunderstandings between his Kallian mother and Dareian father, the atmosphere relaxed and returned to normal.

What a silly thought it had been of Yugi …! Atem was his bodyguard, his confidant, his friend. Yugi should be grateful for all that instead of craving more. It was better for both of them to let things remain as they were.

They reached the stables. Again, Atem caught Yugi by his hips when he dismounted, only this time Yugi stumbled backwards until he leaned against Atem's chest. His legs wobbled at feeling Atem's body so close a second time.

“S-Sorry”, Yugi mumbled and freed himself from Atem's wonderful arms. His knees were so shaky he wasn't sure if he'd lose balance a second time. “Th-Thank you for your company. I'm afraid I have more work to do now. See you.”

“Uhm … my prince …!”

Yugi ignored Atem and rushed back into the palace. Just when he had thought to have regained his composure, this had to happen! Was it a punishment for his thought from before? What a cruel and wonderful punishment at the same time …

In his chambers, warmth greeted him. He let a servant take off his coat and boots while thinking that by now he was harbouring two secrets. His crush on Atem and …

“Excuse me for a moment. I'll be right back”, Yugi said and walked into his study in slippers. He had to hide the little, blue book before the servants found it while helping him change. His hands slid into his vest pocket and …

Yugi believed to be falling into a dark hole. It was empty.

“No, no, no …!”, Yugi said and checked all his pockets several times. He looked into every drawer, every folder, every place where he had hidden it at some point. But still: nothing …! “No …! No, it can't be …!”

Yugi dropped into a chair. His mouth turned dry at the undeniable realisation: He had lost the blue, little book …!

 

Yugi didn't leave his study all afternoon, not even to eat. He buried himself in his work but his thoughts always ended up with the little book. Where had he lost it? Who had found it by now? Was it already a scandal that travelled from one wing to another? But no one could link it back to Yugi, right? Maybe it was better like this. Now he couldn't sin at night any more … or could he? Some of the pictures were engraved in his mind by now …

A knock made Yugi flinch.

“Y-Yes?”

A maid poked her head into the room.

“My prince, Royal Protector Sennen would like to talk to you”, she said. Yugi tilted his head. Atem never requested such things when he knew Yugi was busy.

“Let him in.”

Atem entered, closed the door behind himself, and bowed. He approached Yugi's desk, rubbing his neck. Was it about what had almost happened earlier? The blood in Yugi's veins froze.

“My prince … I … uhm …”

Yugi played with the fountain pen in his hands.

“Y-Yes …?”

“Well … I'm sorry to disturb you … may I ask you … could it be that you … lost something?”

Yugi believed to be fainting. Atem pulled something out of his vest pocket … something blue …!

Yugi shot up, snatched it out of Atem's hands, stuffed it into a drawer and shut it with a loud noise. His face was burning and had to look like on oversized cherry.

“D-Did anyone see it?”, he croaked.

“No. When you dropped it at the stables I hid it immediately.”

All of Yugi's muscles were tensed up. He wished he could just disappear with the blink of an eye.

“Please don't tell anyone”, he said and covered his eyes with his hands.

“Of course not”, Atem said and sat down on a chair. He continued in a lower voice: “If it calms you … I really don't think it's all that bad. In my opinion, people on the continent are a little too strict in that regard, at least when it comes to nobles. In Kallias no one would mind or even care.”

Yugi gulped. This was another reason why the Kallian court was considered immoral. Marriage and physical unions didn't have to be connected. Usually they didn't even wait until marriage! Like commoners! To Yugi, this had always seemed wrong. Why was it suddenly so appealing …?

“A-Atem?”, Yugi said, circled the desk and sat down next to Atem. He moved his chair as close to his as possible. “Would it … Would you … Can I ask you a few things about … that …? I'd understand if you're not comfortable with it …”

Yugi braced himself for a loud and clear “no” from Atem. But he only gave Yugi a slightly confused look.

“Uhm … I'm more surprised than uncomfortable. If you're fine with it … what do you want to know?”, he said. Yugi took a deep breath.

“H-How can this be? How can the Kallians justify these things when the gods say that nobles can only rule well when they always think rationally and resist the … temptations of the flesh …?”

“Well … on the continent people believe the new version of the Sacred Scrolls. In Kallias, we still believe in the old ones”, Atem said. Yugi played with his silk cravat.

“And what exactly do the old ones say about … this …?”

“As you know, the new ones say that living these desires out makes you revert back to a barbarian, that it's the gateway to other sins”, Atem said, his fingers running over the intricate carvings of his chair's armrest. “The old ones say that these urges are natural and that suppressing them causes more misery. They will manifest themselves in a different form, a crueller and more sinful one. So giving in is actually beneficial to your inner balance … you know?”

“Oh … that's … I never thought of it that way …”

“On the continent the subject is a taboo among nobles. Of course no one ever told you that”, Atem said in an apologetic tone.

“Y-Yes … I know how reproduction works … and when I began to grow up … I was taught about what my body was going through and … how to suppress it … I thought that phase of temptation was over but …”, Yugi said, twirling a blond strand around his finger. He looked to his feet. How could these words just stumble out of his mouth? Maybe because it was the first time someone talked to him about this without just giving him biological facts and rules for how to handle himself.

“Personally, I think there's a lot of good in the new ways but in that regard I disagree. A noble can be responsible and wise without being mostly abstinent”, Atem said. Yugi chewed his bottom lip. There was something he was so curious about he needed to ask it, even if it was inappropriate.

“A-Atem … does that mean … you already …?”, Yugi whispered, his face growing hotter with every word. Atem scratched his neck, his hand slightly wandering under his collar and revealing a small tattoo of an ancient symbol.

“Y-Yes …”

Yugi gasped both in shock and in fascination. He was so used to being untouched he had never given it much thought that many around him weren't. And the person next to him was one of them …! He knew what it was like to be _this_ close to someone else …

“W-With a woman or a man …? If I may ask!”, Yugi said. Atem crossed his legs and played with his cuff links.

“Uhm … both …”

“Multiple?!”, Yugi said and jerked back. He took a file from his desk and fanned himself.

“N-Not all at once!”, Atem said with a red face. “It was … four in total. Two men and two women. All back in Kallias.”

Four …! The mere imagination made Yugi dizzy.

“Is … is four a lot in Kallias …?”

“For my age? No … not really”, Atem said with a nervous chuckle. Yugi was afraid to ask what “a lot” meant in Kallias.

For the first time it was hard for Yugi to accept the way things would be for him: just enough times with his future wife to father an heiress or an heir. Unless there was a reason to wish for another child it'd be scandalous if they even tried to spend another night together. And things were so different, so free for others? Yugi had to swallow his jealousy.

“A-Atem …?”, Yugi whispered and looked left and right before he asked: “What is it like …?”

Atem took a deep breath. A small grin played about his lips, which had to hint at memories.

“It's … it feels really good … I mean, when you do it right, then you feel … alive … on fire … and all you can think about is that you want more …”

Yugi had to fan himself again. How animalistic it sounded! Completely forgetting about your manners, your common sense, everything that made you human! As little as Yugi knew about the subject, he sensed that Atem's words only represented a fraction of the intensity of those feelings.

“And … what's better? Doing it with a woman or a man …?”

“Uhm … both have their advantages. With women it's … exciting to touch someone whose body is so different from your own … and with men there's … that harmony of being with someone who's physically so similar to yourself …”, Atem said. Yugi stared at Atem as he spoke, not wanting to miss one word. He had so many more questions, one more inappropriate than the other. But before he could think about, which might be the least improper, someone knocked at the door and made Yugi wince.

“My prince, it's dinner time soon”, the voice of a servant said.

“Thank you”, Yugi said and turned back to Atem. Disappointment clenched Yugi's heart.

“I suppose I should go”, Atem said. “And my prince … I really don't think you have to feel guilty for …” He nodded at the desk's drawer. “You're not harming anyone with that.”

He gave Yugi a reassuring smile before he stood up and left.

 

Yugi was silent all evening and went to bed early. Was his secret really not as bad as he had thought? It was true that afterwards, before the guilt overwhelmed him, Yugi felt satisfied and relaxed. Maybe it really wasn't that immoral to enjoy his own touch …

Yugi was half lying, half sitting on his bed with the candle beside him as his only light source. He was leafing through the blue, little book and while the pictures still aroused him they were familiar to him by now and the first rush of excitement had worn off. He reached the section of the book, which only featured women.

Yugi had to admit that he had never given homosexuality much thought. Of course relationships between two people of the same gender were just as valid as others. Only last summer the court had celebrated a beautiful wedding between a countess and a duchess. The only difference Yugi had ever perceived was that no natural born children resulted from these marriages. That's why Yugi had assumed that those couples saw no need for physical love at all. While that might be true for nobles Yugi had never considered that these standards didn't apply to commoners …

Yugi flipped the page and was hit by the same wave of shock and fascination as when he had first opened the book. So that was how …! Even though the techniques were only between women it made Yugi feel dizzy to look at those illustrations. He studied every picture, gasped at some of them, until he reached the end of the section. The next one was between men. Yugi hesitated.

He had never wondered if he was interested in other men like that, given the fact that he'd have to marry a woman one day. Sure, there was his crush on Atem but the furthest he had ever considered going was a kiss, like earlier today and at the New Year's Ball. It seemed so obvious now that Yugi would also be interested in being intimate with another man, yet the realisation hit him only now.

His fingers were shaky when he turned to the next page.

“Holy …!”

Yugi dropped the book on his lap, only to pick it up a second later. The illustration showed one man on all fours with another one taking him from behind, just like the beginning of the book that had presented the “position of the week”. But men had no … so did that mean they were …?

This time the tingle didn't only sizzle through Yugi's groin but also his bottom. He pictured himself as the one on all fours … someone behind him, grabbing his hips and thrusting into him over and over … Yugi rolled over the bed, the book clutched against his chest. What a new and thrilling possibility …! Somehow even more fascinating than the first section …

He was lying on his side. His hand caressed his firm buttocks. He had never considered it but suddenly it felt like he needed it … needed to know what it was like to feel … something … in there …

Yugi's hand slid under his pants and one moment later he drew a sharp breath that gave away his pleasure.

 

For a few days there was a sense of awkwardness between Yugi and Atem. They avoided talking to each other and when they did, it was accompanied by nervous chuckling. But Yugi soon realised that he had been lucky that it had been Atem who had found out about his secret. He hadn't only kept it for himself. He had eased Yugi's guilt and provided him with knowledge Yugi couldn't have received from anyone else.

Yugi didn't dare to thank Atem directly for his discretion. But he got into the habit of now and then bringing him a raspberry tart (Atem's favourite) from the nobles' game rounds into the library. Blushing, Yugi only explained that it was for Atem's “excellent services”. Atem understood the gesture and the atmosphere between them returned to normal, if a little more intimate.

Yugi wondered if there was a chance to have a second conversation with Atem about the subject. There were so many things he wished to know. But he lacked the courage to just invite Atem or bring up the subject in the library …

“Prince?”, Lord Shada said and made Yugi flinch. They were sitting across from each other at a table. In front of Yugi lay an empty sheet of paper, a fountain pen in his hand. “You haven't conjugated a single verb yet. Would you mind starting?”

“Y-Yes … I mean no! I mean … I'll start”, Yugi said and looked at the book next to him.

“You seem rather absent-minded for a while now. Is it about your upcoming journey to Kallias?”, Lord Shada said.

“That it is”, Yugi lied without looking at him.

A knock sounded. Yugi and Lord Shada exchanged confused looks.

“Come in”, Lord Shada said and a maid entered.

“I'm sorry to disturb your lesson. But Lord Otogi just arrived at the palace. Your presence is required to welcome him, my prince”, she said. Yugi's eyes widened.

“Already? Wasn't his arrival scheduled in two weeks?”, he said.

“He says the wind god delivered the ship earlier to the continent than expected”, the maid said. Yugi looked at Shada.

“It seems we have to end the lesson now”, Yugi said.

“Of course.”

Yugi put down his pen, rose and followed the maid out of the room, curious about meeting his future ally in a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary (updated)  
>  • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
>  • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
>  • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
>  • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
>  • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	5. The Guest

A servant opened the door to the queen’s drawing room and Yugi stepped inside.

“Prince Yugi, there you are”, the queen said on one of the armchairs. Across from her sat the guest, his back on Yugi. He was a slim man with black hair, tied up in a ponytail. Yugi opened his mouth to speak but the words were stuck in his throat when the guest turned around.

After hearing what an experienced and skilled diplomat Lord Otogi was Yugi had expected him to be an old man like his grandfather. Instead, he was only a little older than Yugi, in his late twenties at most. His handsome face was framed by black curls and a dice on a thin silver chain hung from his ear. He stood up and bowed.

“Your highness, it’s an honour to meet you”, he said and Yugi looked into two beautiful, emerald green eyes. He had to swallow his bewilderment.

“To me as well, my lord. Welcome to Dareia”, he said.

Both took seat across from the queen. Yugi did his best to contain the excitement that had rushed through him for unknown reasons. Yugi had seen good-looking men before! Besides, it was not like Lord Otogi was handsomer than Atem …

“Prince Yugi, meet Lord Ryuji Otogi, friend of our family and ally on your upcoming mission to Kallias”, the queen said and turned to Lord Otogi. “I’m sorry for not being able to give you a proper welcome. I hope I can make up for that by organising the next ball in your honour.”

“Thank you but there’s no need to apologise, your majesty. It’s my fault for arriving with my ship so early in the first place. The wind god can be a mischievous little thing sometimes”, Lord Otogi said and the queen chuckled. His tone was playful and his Kallian accent made the words sound more melodic.

“Of course we will talk about everything soon. I wish I could show you your chambers and the palace but I have a whole conference room waiting for me …”, the queen said and glanced at the pendulum clock at the wall.

“I could do that”, Yugi said, surprised with himself. He had never offered something like that to any other guest. “Or give you a quick overview of the palace. If you’d like a detailed tour with all historical and architectural details we can arrange that later. I think Lord Shada can forgive me if I skip his lesson today.”

“Ah, yes. The sooner you get to know each other the better”, the queen said. “Would that be to your liking, my lord?”

“It certainly would”, Lord Otogi said with a small, mysterious smile.

After a little more chatting, the queen had to return to her conference. Yugi lead Lord Otogi to the east wing where many important guests from foreign countries had been accommodated before. Servants were carrying boxes and suitcases into the Lord Otogi’s chambers. Yugi showed him the drawing room, bedroom, changing room, the door to the bath chambers. Lastly, they walked towards the office.

“From certain spots you can see the Royal Lake in some distance. It’s where we celebrated the new year two months ago”, Yugi said and pointed at the windows and the snow-capped landscape outside.

As they walked, a maid passed them and Yugi knew from the foreign shape and embroidery of her dress that she had to belong to Lord Otogi’s staff. She had red curls and a face so beautiful Yugi stared at her for a second. He shook his head. Was everyone from Kallias gorgeous?

“A-And here is your office”, Yugi said as they entered. The room had a desk, a few chairs, and shelves filled with books. “I suppose this is where you will teach me about your home country.”

“We shall see”, Lord Otogi said and looked around. He gave a little laugh. “I must admit I’d rather teach in a more casual setting. The drawing room looked preferable to me.”

“Oh ehm … certainly. I trust you know what surroundings are more suitable for your lessons”, Yugi said, even though the thought of being taught in an informal way was new and strange to him.

“And I trust you will be an excellent student”, Lord Otogi said and Yugi sensed that he was referring something other than his intelligence …but what? Yugi found himself unable to meet Lord Otogi’s leaf green eyes without feeling a tingle on his cheeks.

He cleared his throat and approached the door.

“N-Now to the rest of the palace if you please.”

“Of course”, Lord Otogi said and followed him.

As Yugi lead him through the ball room, throne hall, and library, Yugi believed to feel Lord Otogi’s gaze all over him. But every time he turned his head, Lord Otogi was looking at his face only, with a small, cheeky grin. Yugi’s first impulse was to dislike the sensation but he had to admit that it was more thrilling than unpleasant and he had no urge to tell Lord Otogi to stop.

Yugi pinched his own arm for those thoughts when they reached the gallery, a long hall with dozens of pieces of art on display. Surely he was imagining things or misinterpreting gestures that were considered harmless in Kallias. Besides, there were a lot more important things to worry about!

“Here we have the _Wonders of Harmony_. I’m sure you’ve heard of it”, Yugi said as they reached a painting of a meadow of flowers with gentle and balanced colours. They stopped in front of the next one, which almost filled up the entire wall. “And the most famous one: _The Angels of Elysion_.”

It showed two dozen winged you men and women, their skin colours ranging from onyx to pearl. They danced through the clouds, sang, played instruments, weaved flower crowns, held doves on their outstretched hands. Everything about the picture was so captivating – the colours, the lighting, the movements – many people believed the artist must have visited the angels’ realm herself.

Lord Otogi was as impressed as any other guest who saw this work of art for the first time. But unlike all the others, his gaze switched from the painting to Yugi and back over and over.

“So it’s true …”

“Excuse me, what’s true?”

Lord Otogi stepped towards Yugi, a little closer than it was usual for royalty.

“In Kallias, people say that the prince of Dareia is as beautiful and graceful as an angel”, he said, his voice only a little louder than a whisper.

Yugi’s eyes widened, sure he had misunderstood Lord Otogi’s words. His face grew hot and he started fidgeting with his sleeves and silk cravat. Good thing the gallery had no other visitors at this time of day!

“They … uhm … I didn’t know some people said that in Kallias …”

“Not just some! Everyone, even the Empress. Have you never noticed the similarities, my prince?”, Lord Otogi said and gestured at the painting. “A slender body, pristine skin, big and clear eyes … when you see this, isn’t it like looking into a mirror?”

“I … uhm …”, Yugi said and glanced at the painting. It was true that he shared certain features with the depicted angels. But being compared to a heavenly creature of love and beauty? That was too much! Yugi cleared his throat. “Th-This way, my lord.”

Yugi continued the tour and almost would have lead Lord Otogi the wrong way twice. Lord Otogi didn’t react except smiling in his secretive way. What did it mean? Why had he given Yugi such an intense compliment at all? And why couldn’t he keep his lips from forming a grin whenever he remembered it?

They reached the gymnasium. Calls, laughs, and groans sounded from every hall they passed. In the first one nobles did gymnastic exercises on rings, bars, and pommel horses. In the second and third one tennis matches were held. Rebecca and Vivian were playing as a team against two other women. Yugi passed them before they could notice him.

“And this is where the royal guards train. They’re the best of the best soldiers and watching them can be interesting from time to time”, Yugi said as they reached the last hall. On the tier above them many wooden chairs stood in lines. Only a few nobles were watching what was happening below, maybe placing bets or discussing the techniques that were being taught.

Yugi’s pulse quickened when he saw Atem in hand-to-hand-combat with another guard. He dodged every attack, a crease of concentration between his eyebrows. His white shirt was sweaty and stuck to his well-defined, hypnotizing chest …

Atem landed a hit but then his eyes fell on Yugi. His expression brightened and so did Yugi’s. A moment later, his opponent punched Atem in the face and made him fall over and land on the parquet flooring.

The other guards cheered but Yugi gasped. The opponent offered Atem a hand to help him up. They gave each other a pat on the shoulder and Atem walked away from the group towards Yugi.

“My prince”, Atem said, slightly huffing, and bowed with a hand on his heart.

“Is everything all right? That looked painful”, Yugi said. Atem held his jaw.

“It’s fine. I only got his left hook. The right one would have been much worse.” Only now Atem noticed Lord Otogi and bowed to him as well. “My lord.”

“Ah yes. Atem, this is Lord Otogi, my ally in the upcoming mission. Lord Otogi, Atem Sennen, my bodyguard and friend. He’s half Kallian”, Yugi said.

“ A fellow countryman!”, Lord Otogi said in Kallian and surprised Atem with a hug. “Bodyguard? So I assume you will come with us on the mission? Very good, you’ll see our gem of a country again!”

“Y-Yes …”, Atem said and rubbed his neck. “It’s been four years …”

“Four years without the beauty of our homeland?! How did you manage? Well …”, Lord Otogi said and glanced at Yugi. “I suppose Dareia has its own beauties that can compare to those of Kallias. Don’t you agree?”

Yugi’s heart skittered and he hid his burning face in his hands. How could Lord Otogi drop another shameless compliment and in front of Atem too?! Maybe he should have been scandalized but the truth was that he felt grateful towards Lord Otogi. He had given Atem an opportunity to say something similar and Yugi realised that this sort of flattery could make him only truly happy when it came from Atem’s lips.

But a sudden cold hit his inner when Yugi saw Atem’s actual reaction. He was looking at the floor, scratching his head, unable to reply. Why? Did he disagree with Lord Otogi? Did he think that Yugi’s appearance was this unpleasant? Couldn’t he at least lie for the sake of politeness?

“Atem! Are you coming?”, one of the royal guards called.

“Y-Yeah …!”, Atem said over his shoulder.

“I suppose you have more to show me as well, my prince?”, Lord Otogi said with a gentle smile. It soothed Yugi after the hurtful moment.

“I do. Come with me please”, Yugi said and gestured at the exit. He quickly turned to Atem. “See you later.”

Before Atem could answer, they walked away and continued the tour. Yugi thought he felt Atem’s eyes on his back as they left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
>  • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
>  • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
>  • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
>  • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
>  • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	6. Yugi's First Lesson

„… and if there are any other questions feel free to ask. Good day”, Yugi said to the five other people around the table. He rose and so did the others. He left the room with a few folders in his arms and handed them to one of his assistants. He gave Yugi dictionary and notepad with a pen instead.

“Please tell Lord Otogi I’m on my way”, Yugi said. The assistant nodded and withdrew. Yugi leafed through his notepad and the questions he had prepared for his first lesson with Lord Otogi.

“My prince?”, said the gentle baritone voice that sent a shiver down his spine like so often. He saw Atem approach him from another corridor and smiled. But his lips returned to forming a straight line when he remembered Atem’s behaviour in the gym a few days ago.

“Hello Atem”, Yugi said and kept walking.

“How did your meeting go?”, Atem asked, now beside him.

“Rather well considering the circumstances. I don’t like having to distribute my duties and projects to others but I know I have to since we’ll be leaving soon.”

“I see.” Atem frowned at Yugi’s cool tone. “About our weekly ride, it seems you’ll have to take another horse. Chestnut injured his hoof earlier today.”

“Oh, poor Chestnut!”, Yugi said. “But now that you mention it, I wanted to tell you that we’ll have to make it a rather short route today. I’m having my first lesson with Lord Otogi now and it’ll probably take a while.”

Atem pursed his mouth, a stony expression on his face.

“I see”, he said. “Well … please be careful, my prince.”

“About what?”

Yugi stopped and so did Atem.

“It’s … well …”, Atem crossed his arms. “I just don’t trust Lord Otogi. That’s all.”

“Why not?”

“It’s … a gut feeling”, Atem said. Yugi raised his eyebrows.

“Lord Otogi has been a delight to everyone who met him since he arrived. He’ll be my only ally in Kallias and I refuse to endanger the success of the mission because of your gut feeling.”

Atem snorted.

“I didn’t mean it like that. Just … be careful.”

“Is that all you wanted to tell me?”, Yugi said. Atem took a deep breath.

“Yes, my prince.”

“Well, I have to go to my first lesson now. See you later”, Yugi said and walked past Atem.

What was he even talking about? It had been only a few days but Lord Otogi was already popular for his good looks and charming attitude. He gave nearly everyone a compliment but of course he hadn’t compared anyone but Yugi to an angel …

Yugi’s heart fluttered at the memory. Since their tour through the palace, Yugi hadn’t spent any time alone with Lord Otogi. But during their lessons Yugi wouldn’t have to share him with anyone.

The white double doors to Lord Otogi’s chambers stood open and the red-haired maid Yugi had notice before waited for him with a smile. It made her look even more beautiful than before.

“Welcome, your highness.” She curtseyed. “Lord Otogi is already expecting you. Please follow me.”

She guided Yugi inside and he noticed a fresh scent, like mint, but with a sweeter note. They entered the drawing room where Lord Otogi was waiting. He put his book aside, rose from his chair, and bowed to Yugi.

“My prince, welcome to our first lesson”, he said and gestured at the sofa. As they sat down, Yugi noticed the Kallian touches that had been added to the decoration: the cushions with the wavy patterns, the vases painted with mermaids, the colourful figures of different fish.

The maid poured both a cup of tea, which was of a deep amber colour. She withdrew and closed the door behind herself. Yugi placed his dictionary next to the tea pot and removed the cap of his pen.

“So … how shall we begin?”, he said.

“First of all, I think we should agree on speaking Kallian during our lessons”, Lord Otogi said.

“Certainly. I’ve been learning the language for over four years now so that won’t be a problem”, Yugi said in Kallian.

“Excellent. Now, my prince. First, you need to know that in Kallias there is a lot more physical contact involved in our everyday interactions than on the continent. It may be uncomfortable for you at first so the sooner you get used to it the better”, Lord Otogi said and Yugi flinched.

“Physical contact …?”, he said. To Yugi as a Dareian – and even more so as a prince – that was something that couldn’t go beyond shaking hands, linking arms or a pat on the back without being considered inappropriate.

“There’s no need to be scared, my prince”, Lord Otogi said. Yugi looked down on his notepad.

Embarrassment was creeping down his spine, even though he didn’t know why. His inexperience equalled virtue and purity! He should be scandalized by Lord Otogi’s words! But the opposite was the truth …

“I realise that this issue is treated differently here and that’s why I will try to find a balance between teaching you and minding your personal boundaries”, Lord Otogi said.

“Oh … ehm … good …”

“Now, the first thing I’d like to teach you”, Lord Otogi said and stood up. Yugi did the same. “The usual greeting and goodbye in Kallias is a cheek kiss. A mere bow or handshake would come off as rude. May I demonstrate?”

It took Yugi a moment to find his voice.

“Oh … eh … y-yes”, Yugi said, still not fully comprehending how a kiss could be part of such a frequent interaction. Lord Otogi placed his hands on Yugi’s upper arms and Yugi’s body turned to stone. The closer Lord Otogi came the higher the temperature of his body rose until he believed to be melting when he gave Yugi two pecks on both sides of his face.

The lips of another person on his cheeks! A person who was no relative and him not being a child! It had to be a sin! Especially since Lord Otogi’s lips had been so soft and gentle …

As he moved back he gave Yugi a concerned look.

“Is everything all right?” Would you rather sit down?”, Lord Otogi said.

“N-No, I …”, Yugi said but his knees wobbled and he indeed had to sit down before he fell. Lord Otogi took seat next to him.

“If I made you feel uncomfortable I’m sorry, my prince.”

“N-No, I just … oh goodness!” Yugi hid his burning face in his hands. “My behaviour must seem so ridiculous to you and it will to everyone in Kallias! But I can’t help it. By our standards this is inappropriate, a sin even …!”

“My prince, that’s why I’m here. To teach you. Not to judge you”, Lord Otogi said and the heat in Yugi began to subside.

“Th-Thank you. I know what’s at stake in our mission and I don’t want to ruin it because of cultural differences. I will get used to …this.”

“I appreciate your enthusiasm but don’t push yourself too much. Have some tea, calm down, and then we’ll try again”, Lord Otogi said and gestured at the steaming cups before them. Both reached for one and took a sip.

“Is that Kallian tea? It’s sweeter than what I’m used to. In a positive way”, Yugi said and inhaled the scent.

“It is Kallian tea. I suppose it’s a little sweeter than Dareian tea. But aren’t most sins sweet at the core?” Lord Otogi gave him a mysterious smile. Yugi’s pulse slightly quickened, even though he had no idea why. “What is your favourite tea, my prince?”

He said those words as if his talk about sins had no deeper meaning. Maybe it really didn’t.

“I like ginger with a bit of orange a lot”, Yugi said, picking up on the attempt to continue the conversation in a more light-hearted way. He turned the cup in his hands, examining the paintings of flowers he didn’t know. “May I ask why you’re my ally? I don’t mean to sound rude, I just … thought you’d be older after I heard what an experienced diplomat you are.”

“Well, this is a long story …”, Lord Otogi said and it turned out to be a lot more interesting than Yugi had expected.

Lord Otogi came from a family of ambassadors who had been forced to hide during the civil war for supporting then Princess Mai’s claim to the throne. The winters in their hiding place had been harsh and it had required a lot of persuasion to convince the mayor of sharing some of the food with them, even more when Princess Mai’s enemies had found them and been keen on beheading them then and there.

They had managed to buy just enough time to escape. Such situations had occurred multiple times and so Lord Otogi had learned early that a clever tongue couldn’t only secure business deals but also save lives.

Yugi listened to every word and only now and then threw in a question or gasped at a particularly dangerous moment. Lord Otogi told the stories in so many details Yugi could picture them as if he was reading a book. Just as Lord Otogi was about to begin an anecdote that involved him stealing a piece of bread so his mother could sneak into a building to talk to an official, the clock in a corner interrupted them. Only now Yugi noticed how late it was.

“Goodness! We wasted all our time on chit-chat!”, Yugi said and placed his cup on its saucer. Lord Otogi had refilled it twice during their conversation.

“Time spent with you could never be a waste, my prince”, Lord Otogi said and Yugi felt a tender glow in his chest. “Besides, I think you learned quite a bit. How winters in Kallias are a lot colder than people think, a few names of people who supported or opposed the empress, and the fact the Kallians love to tell their stories … Not to mention that we’ve been speaking Kallian the whole time. I think that’s a good result for our first lesson.”

“Oh … from that point of view …”

Lord Otogi chuckled.

“Not every lesson needs to be a lecture, my prince.”

“Well, if every lesson with you is so enjoyable I can’t wait until we see each other regularly”, Yugi said and placed a hand on his mouth. What an inappropriate thing to say! But Lord Otogi smirked.

“Neither can I”, he said. “Will you allow me to say good-bye to you the Kallian way?”

A rush of excitement went through Yugi.

“Y-Yes”, he whispered. They rose and once more Lord Otogi placed his hands on Yugi’s upper arms and gave him two gentle cheek kisses. Yugi had trouble keeping his balance but this time he remained standing. He grabbed his notepad, pen, and dictionary and Lord Otogi guided him out of his chambers.

Discreetly, Yugi let a palm run over the side of his face. He had never thought he would receive a kiss from a man who was almost as handsome as Atem. And now he’d be allowed to accept even more every time they started and ended the lesson? It was more than Yugi had ever dared to hope for …!

Lord Otogi opened the white double doors and both were taken aback to find Atem standing on the other side, his arms crossed.

“My prince, my lord”, he said with a small bow. “My prince, are you aware that you’re nearly an hour late for our weekly ride?”

“N-No”, Yugi said and checked his pocket watch. Atem stepped towards Lord Otogi.

“My lord, I hope you understand that the prince still has other duties. Please refrain from stealing his time”, Atem said.

“Atem, how can you be so rude?! Besides, our weekly ride is not one of my duties!”, Yugi said. But Lord Otogi gave a little laugh.

“I apologise, my friend. We merely forgot time while talking. I thought that if anyone understands how enchanting the prince’s presence is, it’d be you”, Lord Otogi said and pink stains appeared on Atem’s cheeks. Yugi looked down on his dictionary, his heart skittering. Him and enchanting …?

“P-Please come with me now, my prince”, Atem said, placed a hand on Yugi’s back and made him walk down the corridor before he could say another word to Lord Otogi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
>  • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
>  • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
>  • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
>  • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
>  • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	7. Another Ball

Over the next days, Yugi distributed more of his tasks to his assistants and other nobles. While he knew his projects would be well taken care of, it felt like having to leave his children in someone else’s custody. He didn’t have much time to be sad, however.

The next ball was held in Lord Otogi’s honour. Before the banquet, the queen welcomed him in a short speech and shortly afterwards, the nobles gathered around him. They asked him all kinds of questions about Kallias and himself. Lord Otogi always answered with a charming or witty remark and managed to entice laughs from nearly everyone.

By the time the dinner ended and everyone advanced to the ball hall, at least two dozen people were insisting on dancing with Lord Otogi. Among them were many of Yugi’s admirers so Yugi had the rare opportunity to stand alone in a corner with a glass of champaign and enjoy the orchestra’s music.

Skirts and capes were swishing over the shiny marble floor, the chandeliers above them sparkling. Another song ended and everyone applauded for the orchestra. Already, half a dozen people assembled around Otogi and pushed the man he had danced with aside. Yugi chuckled. Usually, he was in Lord Otogi’s position and it was entertaining seeing the spectacle from an outsider’s point of view for a change.

“Isn’t that Royal Protector Sennen?”, a noble woman said and Yugi looked into the direction she nodded to. Atem really was leaning against a wall in his ceremonial uniform, his arms crossed. He was the only person with a grim expression on his face, which was why no one approached him.

“I thought he hated balls? He only ever goes when his presence is required like at new year’s”, another lady said. What they said was true. Atem kept fidgeting with his gloves and clothes, proving how uncomfortable he was in those fine garments. Then why was he here?

Yugi placed his half-empty glass on a small table and wanted to approach Atem. But after a few steps, Rebecca and Vivian blocked his way.

“My prince, there you are!”, Vivian said.

“May I have the next dance, my prince?”, Rebecca said and linked her arm with Yugi’s.

“Rebecca, I saw the prince first!”, Vivian said and smacked Rebecca’s poofy skirt with her fan. The two began to argue once more and Yugi was unable to escape Rebecca’s iron grip.

“Excuse me”, a voice said. All three turned around and saw Lord Otogi in front of them. Yugi wondered how he had managed to keep his admirers from following him. “My prince, how could you not mention these two beautiful women to me? I am shocked!”

Rebecca let go of Yugi’s arm and both she and Vivian hid their faces behind their fans, giggling.

“I apologise. It seems I forgot”, Yugi said and adjusted his cravat.

“Forgot! How could you?”, Lord Otogi said in a playful tone. He took both Rebecca and Vivian’s free hands. “My ladies, would you honour me with a dance tonight?”

“Yes, of course!”, Vivian said and Rebecca added: “Me first!”

Yugi smirked, torn between amusement and indignation of how quickly they had forgotten who they were usually trying to woo.

“Excellent! Now, I’m sure both of you are as generous as you are beautiful, so would you allow me a moment alone with the prince? I need to have a serious word with him about the matter”, Lord Otogi said and winked at Yugi.

“Yes, yes, of course”, Rebecca and Vivian said, still cackling. Yugi and Otogi made their way into a chamber at the end of a corridor. It was one of the rooms where people could take a break from dancing and eat a snack. At this time of the evening, it was empty however.

“Thank you. That was really nice of you”, Yugi said, remembering how Atem had done something similar for him at new year’s. Though he had been more blunt about it …

“It was also selfish, I must confess”, Lord Otogi said as they sat down around a table with sweetly smelling pastries. “I missed your captivating company over the past days.”

Heat crept into Yugi’s cheeks.

“Y-You need to stop talking like that, my lord. I’m not worthy of such excessive compliments.”

“You think _my_ compliments are excessive?”, Lord Otogi said, crossing his legs and leaning back. “My prince, you will be showered with so much more once you’re in Kallias. The kind of beauty you possess is greatly appreciated, if not worshipped in my homeland!”

Yugi rubbed his neck. A part of him wanted to believe Lord Otogi, the other was sure he exaggerated.

“W-Well … as you saw I’m used to such popularity”, Yugi said, trying to sound as humble as possible.

“You mean …?”, Lord Otogi said and nodded at the ball hall. He chuckled. “My prince, your admirers, they’re … girls. What they feel for you is nothing but a childish crush. Have you ever encountered someone who _really_ desired you?”

Yugi’s eyes widened at the mere imagination.

“O-Of course not. I’m the prince! That would be highly inappropriate.”

“Here. In Kallias people don’t see these invisible lines. They will only see your beauty. And they will pursue it.”

“Wh-What do you mean?”, Yugi said. Lord Otogi bent forward.

“Passionate love letters, luxurious gifts, invitations to the most magnificent places … are only a few of the things you should expect”, he said.

“I … I see”, Yugi said and twirled a blond strand around his finger. Just imagining all that made him uncomfortable … or did it? People going to such great lengths just to get his attention … not because of his influence or his status … but because they craved his closeness … It had something … exciting …

Only now Yugi realised he had been grinning. He looked up and saw a similar expression on Lord Otogi’s face. Yugi opened his mouth, believing he had to defend himself from sinful accusations.

“How about I show you the _Mirage_ , my prince? It’s a Kallian dance I was planning on teaching you tomorrow anyway”, Lord Otogi said before Yugi could speak.

“Oh … certainly”, Yugi said, glad about the change of subject. Both rose and walked a few steps.

“The first thing you need to know is that we get a lot closer to each other while dancing. If I may …”, Lord Otogi said and placed a hand on Yugi’s back as they get into the usual position. Only this time there was hardly a step of distance between them. Yugi could feel the warmth radiating from Lord Otogi’s body. He noticed the fresh yet sweet scent he had already perceived in Lord Otogi’s chambers.

“Th-That really is close”, Yugi whispered.

“Isn’t it?”, Lord Otogi said. “Now, just follow my lead, my prince.”

Yugi was about to object that he didn’t know any of the steps. But Lord Otogi already began and pulled Yugi with him. To his own surprise, he adjusted quickly with Lord Otogi’s guidance.

“There, you’re doing great. But do try to move slower. In Kallias, we take our time to enjoy everything we do”, Lord Otogi said and chuckled. “You people on the continent always need to be efficient, even with dancing.”

Yugi laughed.

“Well, you could argue that this is one of the reasons why our econo-”

Lord Otogi made Yugi perform a twirl and a moment later, Yugi found himself hanging in Lord Otogi’s arms, his face closer to those emerald eyes than it had ever been.

“I’m sorry, my prince. You were saying?”, Lord Otogi said and Yugi felt his warm breath on his face. His legs were shaky and wouldn’t have been able to support him if it weren’t for Lord Otogi’s grip. Yugi knew he should be outraged … but all he could think about was how easy it would be for him to move his face just a little forward and …

He flinched when the door opened and Atem entered. Atem’s eyes widened, then his brows knitted in anger. Yugi freed himself and had to hold on to a small table in order not to fall.

“Atem …! What a surprise”, he said. Atem glared at Lord Otogi.

“People are starting to miss you at the ball, my lord. The one the queen is holding in _your_ honour”, he said with gritted teeth.

“How rude of me. I shall return.” Lord Otogi bowed to Yugi. He whispered: “I’m looking forward to our next lesson tomorrow, my prince. I’ll be counting the minutes.”

Heat stained Yugi’s cheeks once more. Lord Otogi approached the door but Atem placed a hand on the frame, blocking the way with his arm.

“My lord, I’m afraid you’re unaware of how to properly treat the prince of Dareia. You’re overstepping the prince’s boundaries _severely_.”

Lord Otogi shrugged.

“I was merely showing the prince a dance from our homeland, my friend. There’s no reason for you to be jealous”, Lord Otogi said and Atem jumped back as if a snake had bitten him.

“Jea…?!” His cheeks flushed with pink. “I am the prince’s Royal Protector and I take my duty seriously! That’s all!”

Lord Otogi smirked.

“If you say so …”

He walked out of the room, leaving Yugi and Atem alone. Atem avoided Yugi’s eyes, playing with the small gold medal on his chest.

“Unbelievable! I’ll report this to the queen!”

“You will not!” Yugi stepped towards Atem, his legs feeling a little less wobbly. “Because there’s nothing to report! He was just showing me the _Mirage_ , that’s all!”

Atem gasped.

“That’s a dance for … people who are very close to each other! And he’s still a stranger to you! If anyone should have shown this to you, then someone who knows you for a long time and who you trust!”

“Like you?”, it tumbled out of Yugi’s mouth and both froze. But the shock turned into a warm tingle when Atem shot him a shy but tender look.

“I … I suppose that would be … uhm … at least a little … I …”

Yugi took a deep breath and stretched out a shaky palm to Atem. He stared for a moment, then slowly raised a hand. Yugi’s heart began to flutter. Until now he had thought that nothing could surpass the thrill Lord Otogi had granted him. But of course it could be so much more wonderful if it was Atem who was guiding and holding him with those strong and gentle arms …

Atem stopped. He crossed his arms behind his back and avoided Yugi’s eyes. A cold fist clenched Yugi’s heart.

“My prince, that would be … inappropriate. I’m your bodyguard. Nothing more”, he said and it was as if those words caused him pain. For a moment, Yugi’s vision blurred. He felt like a fool for even suggesting it.

“I see”, he said before he rushed out of the room, not caring where his path took him as long as it was away from Atem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
>  • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
>  • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
>  • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
>  • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
>  • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	8. Temptations

Yugi adjusted the sleeves of his white shirt.

“It feels so strange not wearing two undershirts after all these months”, he said. A maid helped him into a dark blue vest with floral embroidery and buttoned it up.

“If it stays this warm the snow should be melting away within a week or so. Some even say they saw the first crocuses on the palace grounds”, she said.

“Already?”, Yugi said, not sure whether to be sad or happy. While he was looking forward to spring it’d also mean that soon he’d have to leave Dareia, his home country, and travel to Kallias. No specific date had been set yet but he and his mother had agreed that he should be on his way by the beginning of spring.

While the maid tied his cravat knock sounded.

“Yes?”, Yugi said and a servant entered and bowed.

“ Excuse me for interrupting, my prince. But I have a message from Royal Protector Sennen. He says he can’t come to your appointment in the library in the evening. He’s not feeling well”, the servant said and his words sent a sting through Yugi’s heart. Atem had been skipping their reading sessions and rides for over two weeks now.  Yugi gulped, gritted his teeth and decided that this was the last time Atem rejected him like this.

“Well, I have a message for him too. He doesn’t need to come up with any more excuses because all our regular appointments are from now on cancelled”, he said. Both the servant’s and the maid’s eyes widened. Yugi never used such direct and harsh words, not even with people he disliked.

“I will deliver it, my prince”, the servant said and withdrew. The maid finished the knot and Yugi sat down on a chair, arms crossed, while she helped him into his shoes.

Since the last ball all Atem did was exercise at the gym. He had never been particularly sociable but he had at least spent time with Yugi and a few of the royal guards. Yugi had tried to approach him twice but Atem had mumbled things Yugi had barely understood and upon asking him to repeat himself, he had just walked away. Yugi had hoped that Atem would come around himself but if he decided not to, Yugi had no intentions to be pushed away every day over and over.

Ha d his request to teach him that special Kallian dance made Atem realise how little he actually cared for Yugi? Had Yugi misinterpreted how much Atem enjoyed their time together over the past three years? Had he guessed that Yugi was in love with him and now things could never return to the way they had been …? The thought gave Yugi a cold shiver.

Once the maid was finished, he checked himself in the mirror, grabbed his notepad and dictionary from a chest of drawers, and left the room.  The usual morning scents of tea, bread, and marmalade were still wafting through the corridors as he walked.  At least he’d get to spend the morning with Lord Otogi who was the exact opposite from Atem: welcoming, open, and charming.

While the thought of Atem made Yugi want to hide under a blanket, Lord Otogi made him laugh, sometimes even feel warm and fuzzy inside when he gave Yugi another compliment about his beauty or intelligence. He felt lighter already when he approached Lord Otogi’s chambers and saw his red-haired maid waiting for him. She curtseyed.

“Welcome, your highness”, she said with a smile that made her look even more gorgeous. “Please follow me.”

While the rest of the palace still smelled of breakfast, Lord Otogi’s chambers had the usual fresh but sweet fragrance. The maid lead Yugi into the same drawing room as always. Lord Otogi was spreading a map over the low table before the couch. When he saw Yugi he stood up and greeted him with open arms.

“My prince! So good to see you again!”

“It’s only been one day”, Yugi said with a smirk but actually happy about Lord Otogi’s enthusiasm. After placing his notepad and dictionary on the table they touched each other’s upper arms and pecked each other’s cheeks. Yugi enjoyed the Kallian greeting by now, especially the rush of excitement that came with it. The rest of the palace would no doubt be scandalized but it was their little secret …

“ What’s today’s lesson?”, Yugi said as they sat down. The maid poured them cups of tea and withdrew.

“I would like to teach you about the different regional dialects of the Kallian language. It can be a rather confusing subject, even for native speakers, but there are a few things you should know”, Lord Otogi said. He began to talk while pointing at Kallias’ different islands but Yugi couldn’t concentrate.

Was Atem exercising as usual? How would he react when he received Yugi’s message? Would he be sad? Angry? Relieved? Had Yugi’s words been too harsh after all …? But if Atem cared about their appointments he’d try to talk to Yugi one of these days! Right …?

“My prince?”, Lord Otogi said and Yugi turned his head. “Is everything all right? You look worried.”

Yugi gulped. Atem always said something similar when Yugi was upset, even if the hints were so subtle no one else picked up on them …

“Yes … well … it’s something personal. I don’t want to burden you with that.”

“I wouldn’t mind. And I can assure you that everything you say will stay between us.”

Yugi chewed on his bottom lip. It would be inappropriate to talk about something private with his teacher. But weren’t they pushing the boundaries of what was appropriate for Dareian standards with every lesson already? Besides, Yugi had no one else he could tell this sort of thing …

“Well … it’s … it’s Atem”, Yugi said and played with his cravat. “He’s acting so different since I’m preparing for my mission in Kallias. He doesn’t even want to spend time with me any more. We used to be so close and all that rejection … it hurts …”

“I see”, Lord Otogi said, leaned back, and crossed his legs. “While I can’t claim to know Atem better than you he strikes me as a rather protective man, which makes him perfect for the position he’s in. But I assume that since you spend most of your time here at the palace he feels rather … useless. Maybe it bothers him so much he doesn’t feel deserving of spending any casual time with you.”

“Y-You don’t think there’s more to it …?”, Yugi said, his voice hardly louder than a whisper.

“What more could there be?”

Yugi looked to the other side.

“I … I don’t know”, he mumbled.

“ In any case, I don’t think he has any bad intentions. I’m sure once we leave for Kallias and Atem can do his usual job everything will turn back to normal.”

Back to normal … Did Yugi want that? And if not, what did he want …?

“Don’t look so sad, my prince. Look, spring is almost here. Maybe we can take a ride one of these days and search for crocuses?”, Lord Otogi said.

Oh … yes, that’s a lovely idea”, Yugi said without meaning it.

“I must admit I’m not used to spring coming this early. Is it always like this on the continent?”

“Yes, this is actually pretty nor…” Yugi said but stopped when he turned back to Lord Otogi. He had rolled up his sleeves, taken off his cravat, and opened the first three buttons of his shirt.

“I didn’t know. I should have dressed differently today. But anyway, back to our lesson. About this region …”, Lord Otogi said and bent towards the map. But Yugi couldn’t stop staring. His fingers were digging into his pants, his posture perfectly erect. “Is something wrong, my prince?”

Yugi flinched.

“I … uhm … you know … men here on the continent … we usually don’t show … anything below here”, Yugi said and tapped his neck. Sure, women now and then wore ball gowns that were cut lower but men? Never!

“Really? Then what do you do in summer when it’s really hot?”

“We … uhm … sweat?”, Yugi said with an insecure laugh. His breath stopped and his temperature rose when Lord Otogi placed an arm on the backrest behind him and moved closer.

“Say, is this making you uncomfortable, my prince?”, Lord Otogi whispered and his voice danced down Yugi’s spine.

“ W-Well…not uncomfortable…but this is rather…new”, Yugi said, trying to look at Lord Otogi’s face but his eyes kept darting back to the elegant arches of his collar bones.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to get used to it, my prince. When it’s warm in Kallias men wear their shirt open all the time. On particularly hot days some men might not even wear a shirt at all.”

“What?!”, Yugi said, both in shock and fascination.

“But the latter only applies to commoners who have to do hard work. You won’t see so many shirtless nobles”, Lord Otogi said.

“Oh … all right then”, Yugi said, not sure himself if he sounded relieved or disappointed.

“You know, my prince … I wouldn’t mind if you took a closer look in order to get used to the sight. After all, I can’t have you be all distracted and confused should you meet with a Kallian noble on a warm day”, Lord Otogi said and chuckled. Yugi smiled awkwardly and tried not to stare immediately at the area in question. How smooth and silky Lord Otogi’s skin looked … even a small part of his chest was revealed … and under his shirt collar a black line peeked out.

“Is that … a tattoo?”, Yugi said and pointed at it.

“Oh, yes. It is”, Lord Otogi said and tugged on the shirt collar to uncover an ancient symbol.

“Oh!”, Yugi said and added at Lord Otogi’s confused look: “I … I’m pretty sure Atem has the same tattoo at the exact same spot. What a coincidence!”

The last time Yugi had seen it had been in his office when they had talked about the blue, little book. But  Yugi had seen it multiple times before when Atem had scratched his neck.

“It’s no coincidence at all, actually”, Lord Otogi said with a smirk and turned back to the map on the low table before them. “I’ll tell you another time. Now back to the lesson, yes?”

Yugi frowned at Lord Otogi’s evasive reply and decided to press for a clear answer at a later point. That idea was forgotten quickly, however.

He found himself unable to resist staring at Lord Otogi’s exposed skin. Lord Otogi didn’t seem to mind at all and just continued with the lesson. Yugi pinched his own arm for his lack of control several times. He had a mission, a mission! But what did a few looks matter …? Yugi’s inner tingled with a type of hunger he didn’t know.

That circle of fascination and restraint continued throughout the other subjects Lord Otogi talked to him about. But whatever Lord Otogi taught him about certain holidays, traditional songs, and the old temples, Yugi didn’t remember any of it. He was either memorizing every spot of Lord Otogi’s neck and chest or scolding himself for trying to do so. After a while, Yugi too felt like his clothes were too warm.

“It seems you’re not all that concentrated today”, Lord Otogi said and closed a book with illustrations of old temples. Yugi looked away and played with a strand of blond hair.

“I-I’m sorry”, he mumbled. Of course his distraction was more than obvious! It could only have been worse of he had been drooling!

“Don’t be. We all have such days. Maybe a more practical lesson would be more suitable?”, he said, stood up, and stretched a hand out to Yugi. “We could practise your dance skills.”

Yugi’s heartbeat quickened at those words. Getting even closer to that alluring body of Lord Otogi? He should decline, say he needed a moment to cool down, resist the temptation! But instead he took Lord Otogi’s hand and rose.

They walked a few steps to the area before the fireplace. Yugi had to suppress a shiver when they got into the starting position, which was almost identical to that on the continent – only much closer. Their upper bodies almost touched.

“Let’s start with the _Mirage_ , shall we?”, Lord Otogi whispered and Yugi could only nod. Even though it was a slow dance Yugi’s breath deepened after a few minutes. He tried to focus on the steps but made many mistakes and apologised several times. His cheeks were burning with shame but Lord Otogi smiled.

“It’s no big deal, my prince. Just focus on me”, he said and Yugi bit his bottom lip to keep himself from saying:

“ _But that’s the problem …!_ ”

Now the revealed parts of Lord Otogi’s chest and neck were even closer and so were the strong arms that held him. Because of their difference in height Yugi was even on eye level with the naked spots.

His hand clung to Lord Otogi’s shoulder in order not to lose his balance … but wouldn’t it be easy to let his fingers brush over the exposed areas and make it look like an accident …? Would that even be necessary? Would Lord Otogi just let him … no, what indecent thoughts!

Yugi felt dizzy and shaky but he didn’t want to sit down. He had never been this close to another person and never felt this much excitement crawl over his skin. They weren’t even doing the real dance steps any more and just swayed to the left and right.

Yugi didn’t know how but Lord Otogi made him trip but before he could fall Lord Otogi pressed his body against the wall. Yugi’s heart drummed against his chest, his fingers digging into Lord Otogi’s shirt. That helpless gesture of clinging to his only source of balance even revealed more parts of Lord Otogi’s chest and Yugi gasped at the sight.

“Goodness, how clumsy we are today”, Lord Otogi whispered. His forehead almost touched Yugi’s and his black bangs brushed his face. Yugi tried to answer but all words were stuck in his throat.

He had never been this close to that handsome face … those emerald eyes … those beautiful lips … One of them would need to move their head only a little forward …

But before Yugi could think any further, Lord Otogi glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece and said:

“Look at the time. Our lesson is over already.”

“Wh-What?”, Yugi said.

“I know. How quickly time passes when you enjoy yourself”, Lord Otogi said and gently let go of Yugi.

Yugi grabbed onto the mantelpiece in order not to fall. While Yugi was still struggling with standing straight, Lord Otogi grabbed his notepad and dictionary from the low table and handed them to Yugi. They felt a lot heavier than earlier.

“Don’t worry, my prince. We will continue right where we left off”, Lord Otogi said with a wink. “So, would you like to go search for crocuses one of these days? Maybe we could take a ride and you can show me the outer garden? I heard it’s really beautiful.”

“Y-Yes. I’d love to”, Yugi said with a nervous chuckle. “I’ll go check my schedule and tell you when I have time.”

“Wonderful”, Lord Otogi said, placed his hands on Yugi’s upper arms and pecked Yugi’s cheeks. Heat sizzled through his body yet again. Yugi’s knees wobbled when Lord Otogi whispered into his ear: “I’m really looking forward to taking a ride with you.”

Yugi somehow staggered out of Lord Otogi’s chambers, through the corridors and into the royal wing. Yugi closed the door to his bedroom behind himself. Was he having a fever dream? He was feeling hot and dizzy and what just happened couldn’t have been reality.

Maybe Yugi had misunderstood it all! Maybe none of it would be considered inappropriate in Kallias! No, not even in Kallias could it be normal to press another person against the wall and look them in the eyes like that … Unlike Yugi, Lord Otogi had been perfectly secure and relaxed, as if he had done this sort of things a dozen times already.

Yugi’s inner leapt at a realisation. Lord Otogi _had_ done this sort of thing a dozen times already. Maybe even more! Nobles in Kallias didn’t have to wait until marriage to … Goodness, Lord Otogi had already … slept with someone! Several people! Lord Otogi had to be an expert on the matter! Surely a night with him would be …

Yugi turned the key behind him, placed his dictionary and notepad on a chest of drawers beside him, and dashed towards his bedside table. In the bottom drawer he found the blue little book.

He sat down on his bed and opened it with trembling fingers. He turned to the third section, which was between men only. He drew a sharp breath at the page he landed on. It showed one man on his back, his legs spread with the other one between them.

He held the book as close to his eyes as possible without the picture becoming blurred. He couldn’t help but grin as he imagined what it’d be like to be the one on the bottom. He lay back, dropped the book, and clumsily opened the buttons of his vest and shirt. His hands ran over his skin, his eyes closed.

If only someone else’s fingers could explore his skin …! His shoulders, chest, stomach … Yugi spread his legs and imagined another man right between them, just like in the illustration … Their naked bodies rubbing against one another … Waking urges in Yugi he thought he didn’t have … Making him feel so hot he believed to be melting …

Yugi’s hand slid inside his pants and he had to bite his lip to suppress a moan. He moved his hips up and down in a way that was so new but felt so natural. Waves of hot and cold swept through him as he squirmed beneath that imaginary man …

Another man … tearing Yugi’s clothes apart in his desire … kissing him everywhere … his neck, jaw, and finally his lips … Yugi would open his eyes and see …

Yugi shot up and almost fell from the bed. He was panting and believed his heart had stopped. He hadn’t seen Lord Otogi’s face in his fantasy. He had seen Atem’s.

Now that he thought about it … He had imagined the skin of other other man darker than Lord Otogi’s. The body had been slim but muscular and Yugi knew few diplomats who were well-trained.

Yugi’s bad conscience made his intestines turn into stone. How dare he include his bodyguard in his sinful dreams?! Surely Atem would be disgusted! The thought of Atem’s revolted face drove any aroused heat out of him like a sudden snowstorm.

Yugi stood up and washed his hands in a bowl of water in a corner. Now he was glad he had cancelled his and Atem’s library appointment earlier. He wouldn’t have been able to look him in the eyes anyway.

Yugi dried his hands with a towel and cursed Lord Otogi for awakening these feelings in him in the first place! But as Yugi buttoned up his shirt and vest he knew he could only blame himself for being so susceptible to Lord Otogi’s advances.

“I am the prince of Dareia”, Yugi said to himself when he was fully dressed again. “That’s the path the gods chose for me and I can’t allow myself to deviate from it. Ever.”

He walked back to the bed and took the blue, little book from a pillow. He had been in perfect control of himself before he had smuggled it into the palace. It was the source of his sinful desires and without it his mind and soul could be clear again. He should burn it or throw it away.

But instead he stuffed it back into the bottom drawer of his bedside table and shut it.

“The gods forgive me”, he mumbled with a heavy heart. “Even though I don’t deserve it …”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
>  • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
>  • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
>  • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
>  • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
>  • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	9. The Kiss

Yugi rose from his chair at the head of the table, a glass of champaign in his hand. All heads in the dining hall turned towards him and all voices fell silent as quickly as expected from high-ranking military officials. Atem was seated to his left.

“Thank you all for attending the brunch. It was a desire of mine to show my appreciation for some of the most hard-working and disciplined warriors of Dareia before I leave for Kallias. Know that I am most grateful for your willingness to protect Dareia, and be it with your life”, Yugi said and earned applause. “But I do not wish to end the event on such a grim note. So let me assure you that I will do my best to form an alliance with Empress Mai, one that will ease the tension between the continent and Xanthos. And by the time I return I intend to invite you all to another brunch in order to celebrate, so I think we all have something to look forward to.” The officials smiled, some chuckled. “To Dareia. May the gods let her thrive forever.”

Everyone raised their glasses.

“To Dareia!”

Everyone took a gulp. Yugi placed his glass on the table.

“Once more, thank you all for coming. And to those I won’t see again before my departure: Farewell.”

Everyone stood up as Yugi left the dining hall and entered a private chamber, Atem was following him. Yugi’s assistants were already waiting. Yugi dictated them some notes and ordered them to investigate a few things he had been asked about. Once everything was taken care of, the buzzing in the dining area and corridors had died down so Yugi dared to step out of the room.

The hallway was as empty as it had sounded. Yugi walked over the marble tiles past statues and paintings. Atem was still beside him but they didn’t look at each other. They barely spoke these days.

While Yugi’s aristocratic manners urged him to try to at least talk about the weather he just couldn’t overcome his awkwardness. Not after having included Atem in his sinful fantasies. Usually Atem would have commented on Yugi’s different behaviour but since his rejection at the last ball he still preferred to be as distanced from Yugi as possible. For once, Yugi didn’t mind.

He looked out the windows, at the grey sky, when a voice roused him from his thoughts.

“My prince!”, Lord Otogi said and approached him with open arms. Yugi’s heart skittered at seeing his emerald eyes and handsome face. Lord Otogi bowed before him. “So good to see you again. I hope the brunch went well?”

“It did. Thank you, my lord”, Yugi said and forced himself to speak the next words before the small rush of adrenaline subsided. “I’m free for the rest of the afternoon. Maybe we could take the ride you suggested a few days ago …?”

Yugi’s inner leaped at the memory of their last lesson. Lord Otogi’s slightly open shirt, the slow dance, how he had pressed Yugi against a wall … Yugi’s legs felt weak just thinking about it.

“Excuse me”, Atem said and Yugi flinched. He had forgotten Atem was even there. “My prince, if you want to take a ride, I insist on accompanying you to ensure your safety.”

Yugi detected irritation in Atem’s voice when a moment ago he had been indifferent. He knitted his brows.

“There are no threats I need to be protected from in the outer gardens, Atem. You will stay here”, Yugi said, determined not to be robbed of some private time with Lord Otogi.

“My prince, I-”

“Say, Atem”, Lord Otogi interrupted him. “Could it be that I saw your brother with the other officials earlier? He looked just like you, except for the different colour of his hair and eyes. Well, I should probably say _eye_.”

Atem’s face hardened and he crossed his arms. Yugi held his breath. Everyone at the palace knew not to mention Atem’s brother to him.

“I suppose that was him”, Atem said.

“So why don’t you go talk to him? I’m sure you have a lot to catch up on.” Lord Otogi ignored Atem’s glare and linked his arm with Yugi’s. “I can assure you that I will protect the prince with my life. You go and spend some family time!”

He pulled Yugi with him around a corner before Atem could react. Yugi half expected Atem to come running after them but he didn’t even hear steps.

“I’m so glad I finally get to see the outer gardens, and with you as my guide too. What do you think will be the colour of the first crocus we see today?”, Lord Otogi said.

“Oh, ehm … yellow maybe?”, Yugi said, in thought still worried about Atem. He and his brother didn’t get along well since …

 

Only a little later Yugi found himself in his riding attire on the back of a sand-coloured stallion. Otogi rode beside him on a maroon mare with white spots. Together they trotted through the inner gardens.

The snow was melting away slowly, revealing more patches of grass, soil, and the stone paths every day. The air was still cool and fresh but there was a hint of spring, of life and blossoms, that also made clear that winter was coming to an end. Yugi pointed out different fountains (all still out of order because of the cold), statues, and trees that bore fruit in other seasons.

Soon they passed the gates and reached the outer gardens, which were mostly like a forest. They galloped past the royal lake with its white bridge and avoided dozens of muddy puddles the melting snow had created.

At a clearing, they stopped and got off their horses. Yugi’s cheeks and ears hurt from the icy wind and his thighs were partly numb. The cold had also given Lord Otogi a few pink spots on his face. Still, he was as good-looking as ever … and now Yugi was for the first time truly alone with him with no clock or person to interrupt them … Yugi’s heart leapt at the realisation.

“Now … let’s see if we find any crocuses”, Yugi said and gave a nervous but excited smile.

“Certainly”, Lord Otogi said and put an arm around Yugi’s shoulders. Yugi felt so warm he might as well have been wrapped up in a woollen blanket. He turned his head at a cracking behind him but he saw nothing.

They began to stroll around and it took only a few steps until they came upon the first crocus at the roots of a fir. Lord Otogi pointed out more in front of bushes, at the shore of a small stream, between rocks. Yugi himself couldn’t focus on anything around him.

Lord Otogi had laid his arm around him so casually … Did it mean that walking with someone like this was normal in Kallias? No, Lord Otogi must have seized the opportunity now that they were away from the palace and truly alone. It was so unfamiliar and strange but, as with all new sensations Lord Otogi had taught him, there was something thrilling about it …

“I’m looking forward to travelling to Kallias with you very much”, Lord Otogi said when they had spotted so many crocuses they were no longer a novelty. “There is so much I want to show you and I’m sure you’ll love it.”

“It’d be a pleasure to see it all. But I’ll still be on a mission to gain Empress Mai’s support. Not a vacation.”

“Of course. But I can’t let you overwork yourself, can I? Especially since I’ve grown so attached to you”, Lord Otogi said and Yugi’s cheeks glowed at those words.

“D-Do you really mean that …?”, Yugi whispered. Lord Otogi stopped walking and so did Yugi.

“How couldn’t I?”, Lord Otogi said and pulled Yugi closer to wrap his other arm around him. They were facing each other, Yugi’s gloved hands on Lord Otogi’s chest. Yugi’s temperature rose so much he believed it to be a hot summer’s day. “You’re smart, determined, kind, and as I said at our first meeting, as beautiful as an angel.”

Yugi couldn’t help but look down at the wavy pattern of Lord Otogi’s green scarf.

“Y-You’re very kind, my lord”, Yugi whispered.

“Ah but I’m afraid I’m not very strong. There is something I’ve been dreaming of doing for so long now, my prince. And it’s getting harder every day to hold myself back …”

Yugi gulped.

“And what’s that …?”

To Yugi, it seemed to happen slowly and too quickly at the same time. Lord Otogi placed a finger under his chin and made him look up. The handsome face, framed by black strands of hair, came closer and closer until Yugi felt a pair of velvety lips pressing against his own.

Yugi’s eyes widened and despite the heat sizzling through his body he was frozen. All strength seemed to have fled his legs and he would have fallen if Lord Otogi hadn’t been holding him.

A kiss …! He was really receiving a kiss from another man! He had always thought it’d have to remain a dream but now it was here and it was real and soft and warm and …

The moment ended as quickly as a bubble popped. A hand grabbed Yugi’s shoulder and pulled him out of Lord Otogi’s arms with so much force Yugi stumbled and had to hold on to the barren branches of a bush.

By the time he had regained his balance and looked up he saw Atem seizing Lord Otogi’s collar and pushing him against a tree, his eyes burning with anger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
>  • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
>  • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
>  • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
>  • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
>  • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	10. Hurtful Words

“How dare you?!“, Atem hissed. “How dare you kiss the prince?!”

“Atem, calm down”, Lord Otogi said but Atem’s grip around his collar tightened.

“You will pay for this! I swear I’ll-”, Atem said and drew back a fist. But before he could punch, Yugi forced himself between Atem and Lord Otogi.

“Atem, what in the gods’ names has gotten into you?!”, Yugi said with outstretched arms and a drumming heart. Atem snorted, his face almost as red as his eyes.

“Me?! He’s the one who dared to kiss you! This is a crime and I will make sure that-”

“Atem, Atem, my friend, calm down”, Lord Otogi said and stepped beside Yugi, adjusting his coat and scarf. “I admit I may have disrespected Dareian laws but you know that in Kallias-”

“We’re not in Kallias! And once we are I will not let you kiss the prince whenever you please or … or even worse!”

Lord Otogi chuckled.

“Or worse? Atem, you’re talking as if I was about to show the prince the path to adulthood.”

Before Yugi could ask what that meant Atem pushed Yugi aside and Yugi almost slipped on the mud the melting snow had created. Atem seized Lord Otogi’s collar once more.

“Over my dead body you will!”, he said. “I’ve had enough! Pull your sword! I challenge you to a duel!”

Lord Otogi only rolled his eyes.

“Atem, I’m a diplomat. Even if I had a sword with me I’d be stupid to accept the challenge of an elite soldier. Relax, my friend.”

“I am not your friend!”, Atem said and shook Lord Otogi.

“Atem, stop!”, Yugi said, grabbed Atem’s arm and made him turn around.

“ And watch how that shameless Casanova toys with you and your feelings while  courting five other people?!”

“That’s not true and you know it!”, Yugi said.

“I don’t care! I will tell the queen that I see your purity in grave danger and then she’ll remove that philanderer from your vicinity before you completely forget about your duties!”, Atem shouted, his voice echoing through the cold forest.

“Why, aren’t you a hypocrite!” Yugi clenched his fists. “When I found the blue, little book you were the one who told me that here on the continent people are way too strict in that regard! That a noble can be a good leader without being mostly abstinent! And now you’re freaking out over a kiss?!”

Atem was speechless for a moment. He opened his mouth but no words came out.

“Could it be”, Lord Otogi said and stepped forward, “that what Atem is displaying right now goes beyond brotherly protectiveness? I dare say he might have romantic feelings for you as well.”

Atem stumbled backwards, eyes wide. Adrenaline rushed through Yugi’s body.

“A-Atem …” Yugi played with his hands. “Is … is that true …?”

Hope fluttered in Yugi’s chest like a hummingbird. Atem returning the feelings Yugi had been suppressing for so long now …! Atem would only need to say one word and Yugi was ready to run into his arms …!

“That’s … completely ridiculous!”, Atem said. “I’m your bodyguard, my prince! I … I’m only concerned about how you’re forgetting about the duty to your country! The way you’ve been acting I wouldn’t be surprised if you decided to run off with Lord Handsome and leave your people to die in a war!”

Atem might as well have rammed an icicle into his heart. Yugi could only stare. A cool breeze blew and made Yugi’s blond bangs dance.

“You know what?” Yugi’s voice was so calm it even surprised himself. “You go and tell my mother what just happened. But then I’ll make sure to find another bodyguard before I leave for Kallias. One who doesn’t stalk and spy on me. Someone who is honest when he says that I can trust him.”

Yugi turned around and ran. He heard Lord Otogi’s voice trying to stop him but Yugi didn’t care. Nor did he care about splashing himself with mud and icy water as he ran through the puddles, manoeuvring around all the trees and bushes. He mounted his horse and galloped back to the palace, getting away from Atem as fast as he could.

 

Yugi locked the door to his bedroom behind himself, ignoring the confused servants who had asked him to take off his muddy boots. He felt a few sweat drops running over his temples and a slightly painful tingle all over his skin, caused by the sudden change from the cold outside to the heated chambers.

He took off his scarf and gloves and flung them into different corners of the room. How dare Atem accuse him of forgetting about his people?! How dare he insinuate that Lord Otogi was courting other people beside him?! How dare he ruin a moment that could have become a wonderful memory?!

Yugi tried to remember what the kiss had felt like but it was all overshadowed by Atem’s outburst. He sank into an armchair and buried his face in his hands.

He never meant to forget about his country! His mother had raised him to always be conscientious and responsible. Just because he had enjoyed how Lord Otogi had distracted him from a possible war it didn’t mean he had forgotten his duties! Even he deserved a break now and then … right?

Yugi didn’t know. But instead of anger he now felt guilt creep all over him for every time he had blushed or laughed because of Lord Otogi’s advances. What if the gods really looked down on him in shame and disgust? If not for forgetting about his people, then definitely for the blue, little book in his bedside table …

Yugi got up and peeled himself out of his coat. Without changing out of his riding attire he made his way into his office, hoping to appease both the gods and the tense feeling in his stomach by getting back to work.

 

Yugi spent the rest of the day and half of the next in his office. He had already distributed most of his tasks because of his upcoming journey but he still found papers to read or binders to reorganise. He ate little, spoke to no one and hoped that this way he could prove to the gods that Atem had been wrong.

Now and then anger flared up in his chest, directed at Atem and his unjust accusations. Atem’s anger on the other hand, apparently hadn’t lasted long. At least he hadn’t fulfilled his threat of telling the queen of what he had seen. Otherwise she’d have summoned Yugi immediately.

Maybe Yugi’s counter-threat of finding a new bodyguard had stopped Atem? But even if it had, Atem had only refrained from telling the queen because he didn’t want to lose his position as Royal Protector. It certainly wasn’t because he cared for Yugi. He had made that clear by calling the idea of him being in love with Yugi “ridiculous”. Yugi still felt a sting in his chest at the memory.

Just as he was taking notes concerning the funding of a medical research facility, a knock sounded and a butler entered with a tray.

“My prince”, he said and filled Yugi’s cup with tea and half a spoon of sugar. “A maid of Lord Otogi gave this to me just now.”

He handed Yugi an envelope and withdrew. Yugi opened it and read:

_My dearest prince,_

_I am deeply sorry if any of my actions yesterday caused you hurt or confusion. I hope I’m not the reason for your refusal to receive anyone right now. About Atem, I tried to talk to him but sadly he rejected my kind offer._

_If you’re feeling lonely, know that you’re always welcome in my chambers. Whenever you need a friendly word, a shoulder to lean on, or more, do not hesitate to call on me. Furthermore, I think you’re a most devoted and hard-working person and a wonderful prince who only wants the best for his country._

_With all loyalty and admiration,_

_Lord Ryuji Otogi_

For a moment, Yugi’s worries were wiped away. How kind of Lord Otogi to write a note! The words on the page warmed him from the inside more than the steaming cup of tea next to him ever could. While Atem had pushed him away once again Lord Otogi’s arms were still wide open.

_… you’re always welcome in my chambers._

Yugi had to admit that he’d much rather talk to Lord Otogi than keep working. But wouldn’t the gods be disappointed? Then again, he’d only spend 20 or 30 minutes with Lord Otogi – and he certainly wouldn’t let it result in another kiss! He only needed a few smiles and kind words, then he’d get right back to work …

Yugi stood up, left his own chambers and approached Lord Otogi’s. He knocked on the white door with golden ornaments but no one answered. Had Lord Otogi gone out? Yugi knocked a second time but still no answer.

Yugi’s heart sank with disappointment and he was about to turn around. But then he heard a female chuckle from inside. Yugi stretched out a hand for the handle. It’d be rude! But he only wanted to ask where Lord Otogi was … and he had written that Yugi was always welcome.

He opened the door and sneaked into the corridor. He was about to say something but heard another chuckle, a male one. Lord Otogi’s …?

It came from the drawing room where he and Lord Otogi always spent their lessons. The door was ajar and Yugi looked inside.

It was as if someone poured a bucket of icy water over his head.

The red-haired maid was sitting on Lord Otogi’s lap, their faces glued together in a kiss, and Lord Otogi’s hand on her naked thigh, pushing up her skirts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
>  • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
>  • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
>  • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
>  • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
>  • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	11. The Truth Comes Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again with the first chapter that's not tumblr-exclusive! From now on I'll update the story every month, some time around the end of the month on a Friday. And now enjoy. :)

Yugi didn‘t want to stare but no muscle in his body would move. Lord Otogi with his maid, on a couch, kissing! Yugi had never seen anything like it!

Lord Otogi’s lips ran over her neck and cleavage. The maid leaned back her head and sighed in a way that sent a tingle through Yugi’s groin. Her and Yugi’s eyes met and both flinched. She shrieked and jumped up from Lord Otogi’s lap.

“What is it?”, Lord Otogi said and she pointed at the door. Lord Otogi rose, his shirt half open, and approached Yugi’s hiding spot. Yugi urged his legs to run but they wouldn’t obey. Before he could do one step Lord Otogi had already pulled back the door. Yugi felt as if he was falling. Lord Otogi’s eyes widened.

“My prince…! Sneaking into other people’s chambers … that’s not very polite”, he said, his voice slightly shaking with insecurity.

“Is seducing your maid polite?!”, it slipped out of Yugi’s mouth, pointing at the woman. She was rearranging her skirts and hiding her red hair under a white cap.

“My dear, why don’t you leave us alone for a moment?”, Lord Otogi said to her. She nodded and hurried out of the room. Lord Otogi cleared his throat. “I suppose I owe you an explanation.”

“You certainly do!” Only now Yugi remembered who he was talking to and anger flared through him. “Yesterday you kissed _me_! You’ve been lying to me this entire time!”

“I have not, not once.”

“Don’t try to play me for a fool!” Yugi tapped Lord Otogi’s chest. But he recoiled when instead of fabric he touched Lord Otogi’s naked skin. Yugi’s cheeks glowed. “And button up your shirt!”

Lord Otogi sighed but he followed the command.

“I knew we’d have to have this conversation eventually. You see, in Kallias it’s very common to be in a relationship with multiple people at the same time. Believe me, I had no intention to hurt you.”

Yugi gasped.

“That’s … that’s disgusting! How can you claim to love several people?!”

“Why not?” Lord Otogi did the last buttons, hiding the tattoo of an ancient symbol on his neck under his collar. He reached for his blue cravat on the coffee table and tied it. “Can you love only one friend? One family member? Why are you people on the continent restricting yourselves in that regard?”

Yugi opened his mouth, ready to argue. But anger was still clouding his mind and he was unable to have a rational discussion.

“Because that’s just how it is!”, Yugi said. “And you’re still a guest here so the least you could do is lay off these lewd habits for a few months!”

Lord Otogi snorted in indignation.

“My prince, ever since I got here I laid off drinking, smoking, and cursing, to name a few things. I’m doing my best to fit in well with Dareian aristocracy. You could at least let me have sex.”

Yugi winced at the last word but his anger remained.

“I didn’t know you despised my country this much.”

“Quite the opposite, my prince. There are many things I value about Dareia: the clean streets, the general honesty of the people, and the gods strike the person down who dare say that there’s a country that makes better cheese than yours.”

Yugi didn’t care about any of these compliments. He crossed his arms.

“I will tell my mother all about that disgusting behaviour of yours so you better tell your beloved maid to start packing!”, Yugi said and was about to walk away.

“Ah but my prince, that would be very unwise.” Lord Otogi sat down on the couch. “That way you’d lose your only Kallian ally and winning the support of Empress Mai would be even more improbable than it already is. Besides, if you choose to tell the queen I’ll also be forced to tell her what happened between us and that you were anything but uncomfortable with my advances…”

Yugi’s intestines turned to stone at the thought. If his mother demanded the truth he knew he wouldn’t be able to lie. He glared at Lord Otogi.

“You…!”

“Don’t look at me like that, my prince. Even though you’re also very beautiful when you shake with anger.” Lord Otogi’s smile made Yugi’s blood boil even more. “Besides, I figured that an affair between us was also for the good of the mission.”

Yugi’s brows knitted.

“What?!”

“I know the Kallian court. I can assure you that once you arrive the first thing that will come to the nobles’ mind is: Who will seduce the Dareian prince first? I figured the safest way to protect you from that game was tying you to me before you could fall for the first person who calls you pretty.”

Yugi gasped for air.

“I’d never fall for the first person who calls me pretty!”, Yugi said but Lord Otogi chuckled.

“My prince … you _did_.” It were only a few words but they were like a punch in the gut for Yugi. For a moment, his vision blurred. “Besides, I thought _it_ would be easier for you this way. Speaking of, there’s an important matter I need to talk to you about. And the queen. You see…”

Yugi wanted to yell at him to stop talking but the lump in his throat grew bigger every second. Yugi rushed out of the chambers and back into his own. He locked the door to his bedroom and sank into an armchair.

He wished his jaw and teeth were clenched in anger. But he knew he was trying to suppress tears of pain. It didn’t matter what Kallians thought! To Yugi, this type of love was special and could only be shared with one person at a time. After Atem’s rejection Yugi had been willing to give his heart to Lord Otogi and only him. He had even had his first kiss with him! But to Lord Otogi, Yugi was only another trophy and his advances had been for the benefit of the mission. He would court five other people beside him… Atem had been right…

It was as if an arrow pierced Yugi’s heart. He had been a fool to believe that either of the two liked him in a romantic way. Shame made him bend over and hug himself. A sob emerged from his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
> • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
> • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
> • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
> • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
> • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	12. Atem's Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays to everyone and welcome to this year's last chapter! Next month we will receive a piece of news that will change a lot… But for now, enjoy this one. ;D

Yugi claimed not to be feeling well the next day and skipped his lesson with Lord Otogi. He hid in his office and tried to distract himself with more work, surrounded by the scents of paper and ink. His servants even had to remind him to eat and take a break once in a while. But Yugi didn’t care.

He only wanted to temporarily forget about the shame over his naivety to trust Lord Otogi. Who knew what he was doing with his maid right now? Yugi shuddered at the thought.

A knock sounded and a servant poked his head inside the office.

“Excuse me, my prince. Royal Protector Sennen would like to speak to you. He says it’s important.”

Within a heartbeat Yugi sat straight in his chair. His first instinct was to deny the request, to hide his humiliation from Atem. But Atem hardly ever asked to talk to him outside of their (now formerly) regular appointments. Besides, after what had happened he must have summoned all his courage to approach Yugi. He couldn’t just slam that effort back into Atem’s face. He took a deep breath and put aside the documents he had been reading.

“L-Let him in.”

Nervousness was crawling all over his skin. Atem entered and closed the door behind himself. He only glanced at Yugi, then looked down to his feet.

“My prince”, he said and bowed with a hand on his heart. “I … I came to apologise. What I said yesterday was inappropriate and not true. You’re a responsible, kind, and smart prince to Dareia and I know you care deeply about your country. And I …” Atem cleared his throat. “I shouldn’t have spied on you and Lord Otogi. I didn’t report any of what I saw to the queen. If you really want to be with Lord Otogi, I won’t stop you. Because losing your trust … is the worst that could happen to me, my prince.”

Yugi heard the pain in Atem’s voice at the last two sentences. He could accept the first part of the apology but he didn’t feel like he deserved the second.

“Thank you, Atem. But I … I’m afraid you were right when you warned me about Lord Otogi”, Yugi said, getting quieter with every word. Atem came closer and placed his hands on the desk.

“What do you mean? Did something happen?”, he asked and Yugi saw nothing but concern in his warm, rose-coloured eyes. Yugi almost smiled. He didn’t need to be ashamed in front of Atem.

He gestured at the chair across from him and Atem sat down.

“Well … Yesterday I accidentally walked in on Lord Otogi and he was … kissing his maid.”

Atem’s jaw dropped. His fingers dug into his pants.

“How dare he?! He has to know that on the continent this is considered cheating!”

“So it’s true?”, Yugi whispered, still insecure about sounding like a fool. “That this is different in Kallias?”

“Oh ehm … Yes. Having several romantic partners at once is as normal as having several friends.” Small, pink stains appeared on Atem’s cheeks. “I know it might be confusing to people on the continent but that’s how it is.”

Yugi played with an ink pot to his right, causing a tinkling sound when the lid chafed against the container.

“That sounds … not romantic”, he whispered. “Shouldn’t that sort of love be … special?

“I’ve seen people treat it like friendships and be perfectly happy. As long as everyone is on the same page I see nothing wrong with it.” After a confused look from Yugi he added: “But since you didn’t know any of that you have every right to be upset with Lord Otogi. The mistake was definitely his.”

Yugi chewed on his bottom lip. He had expected Atem to be outraged by that sort of life style. Hearing it defended by Atem made him consider if maybe it wasn’t so bad after all as long as everyone involved consented to it. But these thoughts made another question pop up and even though he tried to hold it back, it tumbled out of Yugi’s mouth:

“And how do you handle that sort of thing?”

Atem looked down to his thighs, the pink stains on his face now red. Yugi gulped, fearing he had gone too far.

“I … I’m somewhere in the middle. I see nothing wrong with the Kallian way but I also understand people on the continent. I … I’ve treated it both ways in the past and I was fine with both. But…” There was longing and sadness in Atem’s voice and eyes as he said: “I understand that sometimes there’s a person who is … special … who you always want to be with because they mean the world to you … and it hurts seeing them with someone else …”

Yugi’s heart leaped, believing for a second Atem was referring to him. But he pushed that thought away and summoned the self-control he had once possessed.

“I … I shouldn’t even be asking any of that.” Yugi took a deep breath and straightened his posture. “I’m the prince of Dareia. I’ll get married to a woman one day and that’s it. Whatever else there is … I can’t have it anyway.”

He had wanted to sound proud and unaffected but couldn’t hide the desire and the regret. He silently cursed himself.

“Th-There’s nothing wrong with being curious, my prince.”

“Maybe. But I’ve been a little too curious. I even let Lord Otogi kiss me! I can only hope the gods will forgive me”, Yugi said. Atem rubbed his neck, partly revealing the small tattoo under his collar.

“I’m sure they will. The gods know humans aren’t perfect.”

“But I need to strive for perfection. That’s why I’m the prince.” Yugi sighed. “And I … I want everything to go back to the way it was. Between us too. I want us to be as close as we used to be before any of this happened.”

“Y-Yeah. Me too”, Atem said. Both smiled shyly and even though there was still a sense of awkwardness between them Yugi also felt a hint of the kind of warmth he had missed for a long time now.

“So … are we meeting in the library this week? We still need to finish that book and find out if the pirates find that treasure”, Yugi said and Atem chuckled.

“Yes, we do need to find out. I’ll be there, my prince.”

Yugi was starting to feel much lighter. At least with Atem he didn’t need to feel ashamed of his mistakes. He truly cared for Yugi. Maybe not in the same way Yugi cared for him but as the Sacred Scrolls said, one should be grateful for every small pieces of happiness the gods offered instead of complaining about not getting bigger ones.

“Where were we again? Ah right, they had followed the map to that island and then…”, Yugi said and soon they were recalling the entire story from beginning to the last chapter they had read together. They gushed about the parts they had enjoyed and made fun of those they hadn’t.

Every laugh freed Yugi from the ache he had felt earlier. Finally they could talk again in a casual way. Yugi had his friend and confidant back, the man who was so grumpy and cool on the outside but so kind and sweet when they were alone. Still, there was a small but bitter note that just wouldn’t go away…

The grandfather clock in the corner was ticking towards five o’ clock and the sky outside was glowing in a soft orange when a servant knocked and entered. Yugi assumed it was to light the gas lamps in the room but he was holding no matches in his hand.

“Forgive me for the interruption, my prince. The queen asked you to come talk to her. Apparently it’s a matter concerning Lord Otogi”, he said and cold seized Yugi in an instant. He looked at Atem but his expression showed surprise and confusion as well. No, he had come to Yugi assuring him he had told her nothing. But then how could she know about the kiss or … anything else?

“I … I’m coming”, Yugi said and stood up. He shot Atem one last worried look before he left the room with wooden steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
>  • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
>  • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
>  • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
>  • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
>  • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	13. Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter of the year brings some interesting news, hehehe...

Yugi entered the drawing room and found his mother and Lord Otogi on couches around a coffee table. Next to them a fire was crackling and spreading warmth and light. Yugi perceived a scent of camomile, originating from the three steaming cups of tea on the coffee table.

“Mother, my lord”, Yugi said, trying not to sound too scared of what the queen wanted to talk about with him. Lord Otogi rose and bowed to him, a sly smile on his face.

“Sit down, Prince”, the queen said. Both he and Lord Otogi took their seats, Yugi next to his mother (leaving a safety gap between them), Lord Otogi across from them.

Despite the cushions, Yugi felt as if he was sitting on a bed of nails. Would Lord Otogi now tell the queen about the kiss? But he’d only get himself into trouble! Then what other reason could there be for this meeting?

“Lord Otogi and I were just talking and we came to the conclusion that you’ll have to leave for Kallias in three weeks”, the queen said.

“I … I see”, was Yugi’s careful reply. He had been preparing for so long, yet it felt strange to now have a fixed date for the departure and start of the mission.

“But apparently before that, there’s a certain matter that needs to be taken care of. My lord?”

Both looked at Lord Otogi.

“Indeed, your majesty. Now, I know that the following is a rather delicate subject here on the continent. Please remember that I’m only bringing it up for the good of the mission.”

Yugi’s muscles were painfully tensed up. He wanted to take the bowl of cookies from the coffee table and stuff them all into Lord Otogi’s mouth! Anything to make him stop talking!

“Very well. Go on”, the queen said, brows knitted.

“As you know, Kallias’ customs are in many regards very different from those on the continent. You see, this…”, he tugged on his collar to reveal a small tattoo of an ancient symbol, “…is a very important mark in Kallias. It symbolises maturity and adulthood. If the prince shows up at court without it I’m afraid no one will take him seriously and the mission will be next to impossible.”

Yugi gave a silent sigh of relief. It wasn’t about the kiss…!

“So I need to get a tattoo?”, Yugi asked. It was true that tattoos were considered undesirable, even ugly, on the continent. But if he had to get one in order to save his country from a war, he’d be ready to make that sacrifice.

“Well, now comes the delicate part. You see, the tattoo is received after taking the maturity ritual, which involves … spending the night with someone for the first time.”

Yugi could feel the colour drain from his face, leaving only cold shock behind.

“What?!”, it came from Yugi and his mother at the same time. Lord Otogi reached for the cup of tea in front of him and took a sip.

“I’m afraid that’s how it is.”

“This … this is impossible!”, the queen said, a hand on her chest. “You know that nobles – especially royals! - need to save themselves for their wife or husband!”

“I know your customs, your majesty, and I understand your shock. But that doesn’t change the facts. Without the tattoo the prince will be considered a child and the mission will fail.”

“I’ve been to Kallias once and this wasn’t necessary for me!”

“That’s probably because back then you were already married and had given birth to the prince a few years prior. It would have been nonsensical to assume you weren’t … an adult.”

It was one of the few instances Yugi saw his mother’s face turn pink. Yugi himself was still paralysed. The conversation seemed more like a dream than reality.

“Prince Yugi isn’t even engaged yet and even if he were, we couldn’t possibly rush the wedding! Surely there’s another way of getting this tattoo!”, the queen said and pointed at Lord Otogi’s neck.

“I wouldn’t recommend and imitation. If you look closer you’ll see that it actually has a lot of intricate details that are next to impossible to copy unless you have been trained at a Kallian temple for many years. A fake is always very obvious and would only lead to embarrassment and mistrust.”

The queen gave an indignant sigh.

“And you decided to tell us about this three weeks before the start of the mission?!”, she said.

“I know that it’s a touchy subject and didn’t want to bring it up until we had established a certain level of trust.” Lord Otogi placed his cup back on its saucer. “There’s another thing. Obviously one needs to have been initiated into the old ways in order to take the ritual. But nowadays the priests can be convinced perform the ritual when only one person is of the old beliefs. Since the prince has been raised in the new ways, his partner will have to be of the old ways. Like me.” A sly smile played about his lips and for a second anger sparked up inside Yugi. “Of course I’ll handle the matter with the utmost discretion. I understand that this news is quite a shock for you. I’ll leave you alone to think about it.”

He stood up and left. An uncomfortable silence filled the room and Yugi wished he could flee as well. Instead, he stared at the untouched bowl of cookies in front of him, his awkwardness rendering him unable to move. His mother was clenching the skirt of her dress with both hands so tightly her knuckles turned white. Her grip only loosened once she forced herself to take a deep breath.

“Yugi…”, she said and Yugi winced. He didn’t dare to look at her. “I think it’d be better if we send someone else to Kallias.”

Yugi gulped.

“B-But Empress Mai will only listen to the request of another royal. We know that.”

“Yes but … the thought of having my own child…” She sobbed and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “I’m willing to sacrifice all I have for the sake of Dareia! But forcing my own child to … No, I can’t do that!”

Guilt crawled all over Yugi’s skin. She really believed that the prospect of taking that ritual was torture for him. When really he had wished for such an opportunity every time he had looked at the blue, little book at night. How rotten he was on the inside!

“Well… I’m not a child anymore, mother. I’ll be 20 this summer. I’m old enough to get married.”

“I know.” The queen took his tensed up hand. “But still, I will not force you to make that sacrifice. I’ll go to Kallias myself if I have to!”

“You can’t. You’re needed here. I… I have to go.”

Yugi carefully looked up at her. Her face was twisted in pain and seeing it sent another bolt of shame through his heart. She pulled Yugi into a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Yugi”, she whispered. “I will pray to the gods every day to forgive you. I’m sure they’ll understand!”

“Y-Yes. I’m sure they will”, Yugi said but knew he didn’t deserve any forgiveness. And the gods would know too.

The queen jumped up and hurried to one of the shelves. She took a thick book out, labelled “The Sacred Scrolls”. Even though the Sacred Scrolls were printed as a book for a few centuries now the name had never changed. The queen leafed through it until she stopped at the passage she had been searching for.

“Ah yes, here it tells the story of a young countess who was raped before her wedding. But when she prayed for forgiveness at a temple angels appeared and told her the gods still considered her a virgin because she was pure at heart.” She gave a relieved smile. “You see? The gods know true purity lies in your heart.”

“G-Good”, Yugi said and chewed his bottom lip. The queen sat down next to him and handed him the Sacred Scrolls.

“If you read in it every night I’m sure it’ll be less painful for you.”

Yugi’s fingers ran over the golden letters on the cover. He really should read this every night instead of looking at the blue, little book. If only he could assure his mother that he’d be disgusted every second of that ritual…! But he didn’t want to add lying to the list of sins he had already committed.

“The gods will know you’re only making a sacrifice, dear. At least you don’t need to worry about them getting angry.” She patted his back and cleared her throat. Even though Yugi heard the awkwardness in her voice she said with all the dignity she could muster: “As much as I hate to think about it… If you really decide to do this … I think it should be with another man in order to avoid an … illegitimate child.”

Yugi covered his face with one hand, his cheeks glowing. The very thing he had dreamed of so many times…! Maybe the gods were trying to punish him after all with all that guilt…

“That’s … all right.”

“Goodness… I’m afraid Lord Otogi is the only Kallian we know well and who is also your age. I don’t think there’s another person for you to choose.”

“Well…” A part of Yugi wanted himself to shut up before he’d never be able to look in a mirror again. But despite the shame the words tumbled out of his mouth. “A-Atem is half Kallian…”

The queen was silent for a moment.

“But Atem is a commoner!”

“I know. But he’s loyal and kind and I … I trust him. He does have the tattoo. I saw it before but never knew what it meant.”

The queen stood up and paced the room. Had Yugi gone too far? Maybe the gods should just strike him with lightning this instant! He’d deserve it…!

“First that awful news and now… Well, but Atem’s heart is in the right place and we know him a lot longer and better than Lord Otogi … and he’d definitely keep it secret…” She sighed. “In the end it should be your choice. If you still feel the same way tomorrow we’ll talk to Atem about it. Do you agree?”

“Y-Yes”, Yugi said and stood up, the Sacred Scrolls still in his hands. The queen approached him and wrapped her arms around him.

“And if you change your mind after all, don’t be afraid to tell me. I won’t force my child to make that sacrifice”, she said and while Yugi knew that the gods could look right into his heart and see the truth he prayed that his mother never would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
>  • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
>  • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
>  • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
>  • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
>  • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	14. Atem makes a decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you all hate him... But I love writing Otogi! That smug little shit! lol

Yugi left the drawing room with the heavy book, the Sacred Scrolls, in his arms. He walked a little, opened the door to a balcony, and stepped into the cold. Below him lay an empty courtyard that was still mostly covered in snow but the dripping icicles on the statues and the balcony's bannister showed that spring was on its way.

Yugi watched them, still not believing what had just happened. That Kallian maturity ritual – he'd have to take it! He'd have to spend the night with someone… Maybe even Atem…!

"Well, my prince." The voice behind Yugi made him flinch. It was Lord Otogi, casually leaning against the wall. "Are we getting married for a night?"

Yugi's cheeks caught fire. He glared at Lord Otogi but he only gave a smirk in return.

"Y-You planned all this!"

"Well, I knew from the start it'd have to be part of the mission. It's just a lucky coincidence that in your case it's a part I'll very much enjoy."

"Is what you said even true?" Yugi's fingers dug into the cover of the Sacred Scrolls. "Or do you just want to humiliate me?!"

"It's most certainly true. Without the tattoo you'd just be a joke to other nobles, a game and everyone would want to be the one to play it first. You can ask other Kallians if you don't believe me", Lord Otogi said, unblinking. Normally, Yugi would take that as an indicator of honesty but now he knew that Lord Otogi was too cunning for these obvious signs. He had turned his head towards the snowy gardens below them when Lord Otogi placed his hands on Yugi's shoulders. He whispered: "Besides, you aren't that attached to your virginity anyway, now are you?"

Yugi freed himself and stepped away from Lord Otogi. His heart was pounding both in anger and in embarrassment.

"How dare you say anything like that?!" He placed one hand on the icy bannister. "And for your information, I won't lose it because of that ritual! The Sacred Scrolls say that true purity lies in your heart!"

Lord Otogi pressed a hand against his mouth to suppress a laugh.

"I see."

"What?!"

"Oh, I can't say it, my prince. It'd be rude", Lord Otogi said, still grinning. Yugi's blood boiled despite the cold.

"You're being rude ever since this conversation started! What is it?!"

Lord Otogi stepped closer and said in a low voice: "Well, if true purity lies in your heart, then you lost your virginity already a long time ago, didn't you?"

Those words paralysed Yugi. Now his entire body was burning with shame. Lord Otogi had even looked into his eyes while saying it!

"How… How dare you?!"

"I told you it'd be rude. But honestly, my prince. Don't think I didn't see the thirst sparkle in your eyes every time I made my advances. I honestly expected you to pounce on me one of these days if it hadn't been for that unfortunate misunderstanding."

Yugi knew his face had to be scarlet. He had to hold back the urge to hit Lord Otogi with the thick book in his hands.

"That's… You are…!"

"Right? My prince, we really should forget about that incident. I told you I never meant to hurt you. If we bury that conflict now our night together will be so much more enjoyable."

Yugi had his fists and teeth clenched. But a small smile appeared on his lips when he realised how to best fire back at Lord Otogi.

"Who says I'll spend that night with you?"

Lord Otogi furrowed his brows.

"As far as I know you're not friends with any other Kallian noble or am I misinformed?"

"No… But there's still Atem…"

Lord Otogi's eyes widened and Yugi's anger was replaced with sweet satisfaction. Lord Otogi chuckled.

"I admit I didn't consider that your mother would let you take the ritual with someone who isn't a noble. But Atem… I don't think he'd be a good choice."

Once more, hot anger flared through Yugi that made him forget that it was still so cold the pond below them was frozen.

"Well, Atem is more honourable than you!", he said.

"Maybe. And I do not doubt that Atem would … get the job done. I just think it'd be a lot more enjoyable for you if you choose me."

Lord Otogi's insolence drove Yugi mad up to the point he didn't know how to deal with it. He wanted to scrap together the remaining snow in the corners and smash a snowball into Lord Otogi's face!

"Y-You really think you're the best lover in the world, don't you?!"

"Well, if there were a competition I would not be afraid to enter", Lord Otogi said and brushed back a few strands of black hair. "But I also think that with the right training you'd be able to keep up with me no problem. I sense these things by intuition, you know…"

Yugi stumbled backwards, clutching the Sacred Scrolls. Every time Yugi thought Lord Otogi couldn't say anything more inappropriate he did just that! Yugi would have had him thrown in the dungeons if he wouldn't have had to answer to his mother for it.

"You're impossible!", Yugi said and began to walk away before Lord Otogi could make him do something unworthy of a prince.

"But honestly, think about your choice carefully, my prince. I could give you all you dream of in one night. Could Atem too?"

Yugi stopped for a moment, then went back inside and smashed the door behind himself.

* * *

Yugi hated to admit it but he considered what Lord Otogi had said. Atem might care for Yugi but he had made it clear that it wasn't in a romantic way. Yugi loved the fantasy of spending the night with an Atem who wanted him but what if he didn't? The thought of forcing Atem made his stomach turn.

Lord Otogi on the other hand was willing and ready. But could Yugi enjoy it when Lord Otogi's arrogance also infuriated him? Would he even care about Yugi that night or would he only think about his own satisfaction? Regardless of his desires, Yugi didn't want to become Lord Otogi's toy!

But what if Atem, despite not being in love with Yugi, consented to it after all? Maybe not because he desired Yugi but because he wanted Yugi to be well taken care of? Because he wanted to make sure Yugi spent that special night with someone who would make him feel safe, who wouldn't hurt him? Even though Yugi knew Atem didn't return his feelings, that imagination was a lot more comfortable than whatever Lord Otogi could offer him.

Of course he'd let Atem choose himself and if he said no, there was still Lord Otogi. Maybe Yugi could at least get a taste of what it'd be like to be loved by Atem… If only he said yes…!

On the next day, Yugi informed his mother that he still wanted to ask Atem and so she summoned him into her drawing room in the early afternoon.

Yugi was again sitting next to his mother on a couch. The sun was shining through the windows and warming Yugi's back. Like yesterday, tea and cookies stood on the coffee table before them but Yugi knew already that they would remain untouched. Yugi's heartbeat skyrocketed when Atem entered.

"You wished to see me, your majesty, your highness?", he said, bowing with a hand on his heart.

"Indeed. Take a seat, Atem", the queen said and Atem obeyed. She sat straight, trying to appear as dignified as possible. But her tense posture couldn't hide how uncomfortable she really was. "It has come to our attention that there's a certain custom in Kallias, the maturity ritual. I assume you know what I'm talking about?"

Atem recoiled, his fingers digging into the armrests of his chair.

"Y-Yes, your majesty."

"And is it true that this ritual is very important in Kallian culture and those who haven't taken it aren't considered adults?", the queen said.

"Y-Yes, your majesty."

"And this applies even more so to the Kallian court?", was her next question. Atem gulped.

"I wouldn't know that for sure. I've never been to the court myself before. But from what I heard … that's very possible."

The queen took a deep breath, hands in her lap. Yugi couldn't help but admire her for tackling the subject like that. If he had been the one speaking they'd be discussing the weather and never get to the point.

"And since you were raised in Kallias I assume you've taken the ritual yourself?", the queen said.

"Y-Yes." Atem pulled on his collar until a small tattoo on his lower neck was visible. "When I was 16."

Yugi gave a silent gasp. How young he had been! So when Atem had been his age he had already known what it felt like for 3 years…!

The queen cleared her throat.

"According to Lord Otogi, Prince Yugi will only be able to have success in his mission if he has the exact same tattoo. It seems he will have to take this maturity ritual himself", the queen said and Atem bent forward so much he almost fell out of his chair. "It's against everything we believe in and it hurts my heart as a mother to allow it. But for the sake of peace, Prince Yugi has agreed to make this sacrifice. And he said he'd be the least uncomfortable if he could take the ritual with you."

Atem's jaw dropped. He sat there, unblinking, as the seconds ticked by. To Yugi, it was as if he felt thousands of ants crawl all over him. It had never been harder to resist the urge to bolt out of the room.

"Atem?", the queen said, her voice as tense as the atmosphere. Atem flinched. "Would you answer please?"

"Oh! Ehm, well … I … this … this is very unexpected, your majesty … I … I never thought … I mean, I never … well…"

Atem's face was as red as a strawberry and he was fidgeting with his cuff links so much Yugi thought he might rip off the buttons.

Only now he realised what position he had put Atem into. He couldn't say no. If he did, he'd reject a lot of trust offered to him by the queen and the prince. Yugi summoned all his courage despite his shaky limbs.

"Atem", he said and both the queen and Atem looked at him. Yugi's cheeks were glowing. "I want you to know that … it's fine if you say no. I won't hold it against you. I'll take the ritual with someone else before I force you into something you don't want."

His and Atem's eyes locked. Besides hot embarrassment Yugi felt a tender, fragile connection between them. Atem let a hand run through his hair and without looking at Yugi or the queen he said:

"I'll do it!"

Yugi didn't dare to believe it, didn't dare to let go of the tension that had seized his body ever since the conversation had started.

"Is that your final word?", the queen asked.

"Y-Yes. If it's the prince's wish to … not that I'm insinuating anything! I just mean to say that … I … I will support the prince in any way I can…!"

Yugi felt a little ball of warmth in his chest. He had feared the request might destroy the bond they had mended only yesterday. But luckily, Atem had proven him wrong.

"Very well. Of course we'll need your utmost discretion", the queen said, her posture still stiff.

"Not even a hint will pass my lips", Atem said, his face now only a deep shade of pink.

"At least that's out of the way. The prince will start his journey in 3 weeks. We will need to talk about the details but I think this was enough for today. You may go", she said and Atem rose immediately.

"Th-Thank you", he said and stumbled towards the door as if his legs were as shaky as those of a new-born deer. He shot Yugi a shy smile before he closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
> • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
> • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
> • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
> • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
> • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	15. Goodbye Dareia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your feedback, everyone! I really enjoyed your reactions to the last chapter! :D Have fun with this one!

* * *

Yugi and Atem didn't talk much over the next days. They returned to their routines and met in the library to read together but there was a lot of nervous chuckling and they avoided looking at each other.

At his lessons with Lord Otogi, Yugi behaved rather coolly and refused the Kallian greeting, the cheek kiss. Lord Otogi accepted it but still attempted to make Yugi laugh or hinted at Yugi choosing him for the ritual after all. Yugi rejected both and so Lord Otogi was forced to give Yugi the actual lesson.

Lord Otogi informed Yugi and the queen that the ritual would have to take place at a temple in Kallias. Yugi did his best to appear unaffected and hide all the questions that were going through his mind. Where in the temple would they do it? When? How? What would it feel like when Atem touched him? The furthest they had ever gone had been a hug and Atem's arms had been strong but gentle and Yugi had never felt so safe. To think that Atem would soon hold him even closer …!

* * *

For the first time in weeks Yugi and Atem had taken a ride over the palace grounds. Despite the awkward atmosphere Yugi tried to talk about the cool weather and the plants that would soon be blooming again and Atem did his best to respond with more than a "yes" or "no". But no matter how many smiles they forced, Yugi couldn't forget that he was trotting next to the man who would be deflowering him soon.

They were on their way back to the palace and had just passed the gates to the inner gardens. Yugi's cheeks and ears were hurting from the icy wind but the pain was only half as bad as it had been a month ago. A young man on a horse was galloping towards them, splashing through the various puddles the melting snow had created. He came to a halt right before them.

"Thank the gods I found you here! My prince, you have to come to an emergency meeting! There's news about Xanthos!", he huffed. Yugi's blood ran cold. What had happened? Had Xanthos declared war? Would they all be dead soon?

"My prince", Atem said next to him. "Let's go."

Atem's brows had furrowed in concern but Yugi read something else in his scarlet eyes: " _I'm with you._ "

It helped Yugi shake off the shock. He nodded and spurred his horse. They galloped back to the castle, ignoring the nobles who greeted them along the way. Still in his riding attire, Yugi hurried into one of the conference rooms. Atem was right behind him.

At a table sat his mother, grandfather, and General Sennen, their faces like stone. Yugi rushed towards his mother gasping for air.

"What happened? Has Xanthos declared war?!", he said.

"No, no, it's not that. Sit down, dear." The queen gestured at the chair to her right and Yugi took seat. "General Sennen?"

Atem's father cleared his throat.

"My prince, we received a message from Eurodokia, our closest ally in the continental alliance. Earlier today one of their military bases at the northern border was attacked. In a letter from Xanthos they claim it was just a cannon exercise gone wrong but no one thinks this is true. They're trying to provoke Eurodokia and the rest of the continental alliance yet again."

"Even worse …" Yugi's grandfather was looking through the papers in his hands. "Now we know their cannons are way more powerful than ours."

"Under other circumstances this – and all the other provocations from Xanthos - would be reason enough for the continental alliance to declare war. But we're far worse equipped than Xanthos. We can only accept the apology for now", the queen said.

Yugi's grandfather passed the papers to his grandson. But even though Yugi's worst fear hadn't turned out to be true, the words before him were only random letters to his anxious brain. He ruffled his hair.

"They're really getting ready to invade us all", he whispered. His mother placed a hand on his. Yugi knew she wanted nothing more than to tell him he was wrong but she couldn't.

"I will reach out to even more allies beyond the continent. Weapons, soldiers, supplies, we can use all the support we can get. And of course", the queen looked at Yugi, "we need to make sure that Empress Mai of Kallias will support us, be it with troops or by reasoning with the leader of Xanthos. She's the most important card in this game now. Even more so than before."

Yugi's posture straightened. He couldn't allow himself to be immobilised by fear. He had to be strong for his people.

"I will not come back without her support, I swear."

His mother squeezed his hand, both in pride and concern. General Sennen went on to inform them about the details of the incident, listed numbers, names, places. For now the queen of Eurodokia would accept the apology and further secure the border. The rest of the continent would prepare for war as well, Yugi's mother would call for allies overseas, and Yugi would soon leave for Kallias. Once they had done all they could for now the queen ended the meeting and left for another one together with Yugi's grandfather.

When Yugi rose from his chair, Atem was already approaching him.

"Are you all right? Is there something I can do for you?", he said and those words already made the weight on Yugi's shoulders feel a little lighter.

"I think I'll have a cup of tea in my chambers. Maybe you could keep me company and play a few games with me?"

"Of course. I'll only have to change my clothes." He looked down at his riding attire and gave Yugi a smile. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

As he walked towards the exit Yugi gave a sigh of relief. No matter how grim the situation was, Atem was there to not only ensure his safety but also his well-being. Regardless of the things that lay before them …

Before Atem could reach for the golden handle his father approached him.

"Atem, you heard it all. I and the prince's grandfather will have to go to Eurodokia within the next days. I won't be there when you leave for Kallias."

"I understand", Atem said.

"I have letters and a few other things for some relatives. Since I won't be able to give them to you I'll send your brother."

Atem crossed his arms and looked to the side.

"You could also send a courier", he mumbled.

"Atem …" General Sennen pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kallias is his home just as it's yours. He might have a request for you as well."

"And why should I care?"

"Because he's still your brother! For the sake of your dead mother, the gods bless her soul, at least _try_ acting like it!" An awkward silence followed. Yugi's diplomatic training urged him to act as a mediator but he also knew that the situation was more than complicated. "Anyway, don't forget to bring a bouquet of lilies to your mother's grave. And tell her I miss her."

Atem chewed on his bottom lip. Yugi knew there were many things he wanted to say but instead he only replied:

"I will, father."

General Sennen hesitated, then patted his son's shoulder.

"Take good care of yourself. And the prince too of course", he said, then opened the door himself and left. With his documents pressed against his chest, Yugi approached Atem and placed a hand on his back.

"I'm sure it won't be so bad. He'll just give you the letters and then leave", he said. Atem shot him a shy look, so different from the man who had been ready to take care of him a moment ago.

"You think?", he whispered.

"I do." Yugi gently rubbed Atem's back. "Now, let's go. I think we could both use tea and some games now."

* * *

Yugi's last weeks at the palace passed quickly. Soon the servants started packing and despite his bad conscience, Yugi made sure that the blue, little book remained hidden in his personal bag. Due to his worried thoughts sleeping became harder and harder until in the last night before his departure, Yugi hardly closed his eyes.

He tossed and turned, walked through the room, and looked out the window. While he had mostly been thinking about his mission since the news from Eurodokia Yugi's mind was now on the step that came before his arrival in Kallias' capital: the maturity ritual.

Would it change him? What would things be like between him and Atem afterwards? Would he regret it after all? Should he even be thinking about any of this when he had to focus on preventing a war?

Even though he only slept a few hours Yugi was wide awake by the time he had to get up. When Yugi stepped out of the carriage at the harbour he was greeted by a cool, salty breeze and a crowd of commoners. Many people smiled, waved, and wished Yugi a pleasant journey as he walked to the jetty with his mother beside him and Atem following him.

The royal sailing ship was adorned with golden ornaments and had four masts, the Dareian flag with the royal crest flapping on the highest one. Yugi gulped as he looked up at it. He had travelled with it before but never without his mother or grandfather.

Servants and sailors were loading the ship when Yugi heard two voices calling:

"My prince! My prince!"

Rebecca and Vivian had followed them in thick coats and ruffled bonnets. They each grabbed one of Yugi's arms, dabbed tears from their cheeks with their handkerchiefs, and both assured Yugi that they'd miss him the most. Yugi sighed but he couldn't be mad at them and their genuine sadness over his coming absence.

They only left once the queen approached them and asked for a moment alone with her son. She hugged him over and over and Yugi had to promise multiple times that he'd write her all about what would happen at the Kallian court. She even reminded him to dress warmly and not go to sleep too late. Yugi chuckled but still gave his word.

When the queen was distracted by a conversation with the captain, Yugi got to walk around. The jetty was shaking with the steps of all the people and the weight of the cargo that was being loaded onto the ship. Below him, water was splashing and only a few pieces of ice swam in corners the sun didn't reach. Seagulls were screeching and some seemed to be fighting with each other over their breakfast.

Yugi passed Lord Otogi who was surrounded by a cluster of his admirers. He promised each one to never forget them while his red-haired maid was standing behind him, holding his personal bag. Yugi twisted his mouth but said nothing.

He approached Atem, standing in a corner and scanning the crowd.

"Looking for your brother?", Yugi whispered.

"Yeah." Atem rubbed his forehead. "I know what he's doing. He's being late on purpose so he can blame me for not getting those letters to our relatives. Anything to make me look bad."

Yugi wished he could tell Atem that he was wrong but he couldn't.

"I hope your brother still comes."

"What's this I'm hearing about your brother?", Lord Otogi said as he walked towards them. Yugi wondered how he had gotten rid of his admirers so quickly.

"Nothing! Don't you have more false promises to make?", Atem said.

"I've heard quite a few rumours about you and your brother. Is there any truth to them?"

"Yes, they're all true", Atem said in an attempt to shut Lord Otogi up.

"Really? Even the ones that say that you were the one who cut out his-"

"Ah, there you are!", a voice said and all three turned around. The man who came closer looked a lot like Atem. However, he was a bit taller, his hair was a little shorter, and the tips were teal. His remaining eye had the same colour, the other was missing. A scar ran over the closed eyelid and cheek. The badge on his dark blue coat was of the military administration. He bowed to Yugi and Lord Otogi. "My prince, my lord."

"Hello Administrative Coordinator Sennen", Yugi said.

"Timaeus", Atem mumbled.

"A pleasure to see you, your highness." Timaeus turned to Atem with a smile. "Brother dear, why are you looking so grumpy? You're going home to see our family!"

"Hmm", was all Atem replied.

"Here are the letters father wrote and a few other things." Timaeus took a small wooden box out of his bag and handed it to Atem. "Don't forget to ask our aunt for a package of her cookies – and don't eat them all yourself on your way back." He poked Atem's stomach but Atem didn't react. Timaeus didn't care and turned to Yugi. "I hope you will enjoy Kallias, my prince. It's such a beautiful place."

"I'm sure it'll be lovely", Yugi said, torn between siding with Atem and returning the friendliness like he was taught.

"I wish I could be the one to accompany you. But I guess fate didn't want me to be your bodyguard." Timaeus gave Atem a short but spiteful glare, then returned to smiling at Yugi. "And of course I wish you the best of luck on your mission."

"Thank you", Yugi said. Timaeus forced Atem into a hug and patted his back. Atem pulled a face but let it happen.

"I'll miss you, little brother. Do your best and don't bring shame on our family, you hear? I have to go back to work now."

He said, good-bye to all three, bowed to Lord Otogi and Yugi, and disappeared into the crowd. Atem shuddered and stuffed the box into his bag.

"I'm sensing some history between you three", Lord Otogi said, stroking his chin. Yugi and Atem were saved from having to answer when Yugi's mother approached them. She hugged Yugi once more, this time even tighter.

"The captain said everything is ready." She caressed his cheek. "You didn't forget the Sacred Scrolls, did you?"

"O-Of course not", Yugi said and shifted his shoulder bag from one side to the other. It did contain the Sacred Scrolls but in another small pocket he had hidden the blue, little book.

"Don't forget to read in them. Especially during tough times." Her eyes were filled with so much concern it tore at Yugi's heart. He nodded, hoping the pink tint on his cheeks could be attributed to the cold wind. She turned to Lord Otogi. "I expect you to be an honest and loyal ally to the prince at the Kallian court."

"You have my word, your majesty", Lord Otogi said. She looked at Atem so coolly he winced. "And you, Atem, I expect you to protect the prince with your life."

"I-I will, your majesty", Atem said and bowed with a hand on his heart. Yugi felt guilty that his mother glared at Atem when it was really him who deserved it. But even if he had had the courage to confess this there was no time.

All the passengers kissed and embraced their loved ones one last time before they mounted the ship. The queen wrapped her arms around Yugi so tightly he gasped. But Yugi knew this wasn't the only reason his chest was aching.

"And don't forget that the gods will forgive you", she whispered and her words danced down Yugi's spine on icy feet.

"Y-Yeah…"

She kissed his forehead one last time. Tears were glittering in her eyes when they had to end the hug. Yugi's legs felt shaky as he, Lord Otogi, and Atem walked the plank to mount the ship.

Yugi leaned against the rail and watched as the captain shouted commands, ropes were removed, the anchor was lifted. A little later the ship began to move and Yugi gulped. At the harbour, the crowd was waving, shouting their good-byes, and Rebecca and Vivian were sobbing into their handkerchiefs.

Sadness and fear flooded Yugi at a realisation: Now there was no turning back.

Suppressing the lump in his throat, Yugi waved at everyone, especially his mother. Yugi felt so helpless, seeing them all become smaller and smaller, the calls and cheers getting quieter and quieter. Yugi could let his arm sink before it grew tired because the harbour was already out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
> • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
> • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
> • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
> • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
> • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	16. More Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for some puzzle smooches?! :D

A servant filled Yugi’s plate with soup from a terrine. Even though the orangey colour, the green herbs, and the smell of onions and ginger were appetising Yugi only stirred in it.

“Are you not feeling hungry, my prince?”, Lord Otogi said across from him.

“I guess not”, Yugi said and looked out the small windows. There was nothing but the grey sky and the waves that made the ship rock gently.

“Don’t be sad. You’ll see Dareia again.”

“I know.”

Yugi didn’t understand himself why he was feeling homesick. He had been visiting other countries all his life, some much further away than Kallias. Maybe it was because this time there was so much at stake.

A knock sounded and Atem entered.

“You called for me?”

“Yes, good that you’re here.” Lord Otogi turned to a butler. “Please bring another plate for the Royal Protector. And then we’d like a moment alone.”

The servants did as Lord Otogi asked. Soon Atem sat next to them at the round table, plates, cutlery, and glasses before him. Yugi only glanced at him. Normally, Atem should be eating with the other royal guards.

Lord Otogi took a map from the empty chair beside him and spread it over the middle of the table. It showed all of Kallias, the 3 main islands, 12 minor ones and over three dozen small ones, divided into 7 groups. Lord Otogi tapped the smallest group in the north west.

“Before we go to the capital we’ll make a stop here.”

“What for?”, Yugi asked.

“For your maturity ritual, my prince.” Both Yugi and Atem winced at Lord Otogi’s words. “I assumed you’d rather have some privacy and in the capital chances are high that people would notice you.”

“Y-Yes. Good.”

“I already informed the captain about the change of the route. These small islands are said to be very beautiful and rather warm thanks to certain currents. Not many people live there though so I doubt we’ll have to wait for an appointment at one of the temples.” Yugi looked down on his plate. _The_ night was ticking closer every second… Lord Otogi took a spoon, then turned to Atem. “I assume you’re preparing the prince for the ritual?”

Atem dropped his spoon into the soup.

“Preparing…?”

“Atem…” Lord Otogi dabbed the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “You have the tattoo so you’ve done this before, right?”

“Of course I have!”, Atem snapped, his cheeks flushing with pink.

“Well, then you should know that you can’t let the prince take the ritual without any preparation. Give him a taste of these feelings. Make him get used to it.”

Yugi fidgeted with his silk cravat.

“What do you mean…?”, he asked. Lord Otogi smirked at him.

“I mean that Atem should hold you, kiss you, roll with you over the bed… There are so many ways but I’ll save the details for after dinner if you want to know so badly”, Lord Otogi said and caused Yugi’s cheeks to glow.

“I’m not sure if the gods would allow … more contact than necessary. Or…”

“Your mother?”, Lord Otogi said and Yugi cringed. “I know she’s not thrilled but she surely wouldn’t want you to have a bad or painful experience. In order to prevent that you need preparation. As for the gods, remember that different gods watch over Kallias – and they approve of two lovers enjoying themselves.”

Both Yugi and Atem looked away at the word “lover”.

“I see…”, Yugi mumbled.

“So, Atem…” Lord Otogi took a sip of wine. “When do you plan on starting to prepare the prince? You have only two weeks left.”

Yugi’s heartbeat quickened. He was curious too. But Atem was ruffling his hair and avoiding eye contact with both.

“I … uhm…”

“Well, my prince…”, Lord Otogi’s hand moved across the table towards Yugi’s. “If Atem refuses I’m more than willing-”

“I’ll do it!”, Atem said, grabbed Lord Otogi’s wrist and pulled it away from Yugi. He turned to Yugi with a crimson face. “I mean… If you allow it … I’ll come to your … cabin tonight, my prince.”

Yugi’s skin tingled at hearing that request. And from Atem too…!

“Y-Yes. That’s fine”, Yugi said.

“Perfect.” Lord Otogi reached for a piece of bread from a basket and dipped it into his soup. “And take slow steps, Atem. You’ve got to treat a virgin like a delicate flower…”

“I know how to do this!”, Atem said, took a piece of bread as well and stuffed it into his mouth.

* * *

Yugi paced his cabin and kept checking his pocket watch. Only a few candles and the dim light of the moon illuminated the room. He circled the couch and coffee table and walked past his bed over and over until he flinched because of a knock.

He slid his pocket watch back into his vest pocket and hurried to the door. He opened it and Atem slipped inside.

“No one saw me”, he said.

“G-Good.” Both looked at the wooden floor. Yugi gestured at the sofa. “Would you like to sit down …?”

“Oh … y-yes”, Atem said and both took seat next to each other. For a little while the only sounds were the splashing waves and a few steps above them. The coolness of the room made Yugi hug himself. Should he make the first move? But what was the first move? Shouldn’t Atem know? Maybe talking would help.

“Say Atem… You mentioned you were 16 when you took the ritual yourself…?”

“Yes…” Atem was fidgeting his cuff links. “It was a pretty big deal because I’m my parents’ youngest. The whole family came. Well, on my mother’s side.”

Yugi’s jaw dropped.

“Your family was there?!”

“Well, not for the ritual itself of course. But they accompany you to the temple, there are a few customs to say goodbye to the child in you and when you came back with the tattoo they welcome you as an adult. There’s lots of food and drink and everyone celebrates all night.”

Yugi stared at him. On the continent, not even commoners – who had to follow way fewer rules than nobles – would ever celebrate such a thing with their families!

“I thought it’d all happen in secret…”, Yugi mumbled.

“No… That’d be like not inviting your family to a wedding. In my case it was an even bigger celebration. It was also the first time for the girl I took the ritual with so her family came as well. We even had to rent a location for the party…”

Atem chuckled nervously at the memory. Yugi still had a hard time grasping what Atem told him. Despite his lessons with Lord Otogi, he seemed to know little about what Kallian life was like.

“How strange…”, Yugi whispered.

“Y-Yeah…”

They returned to awkward silence. Atem began to rub his thighs and take deep breaths. Yugi wasn’t sure if he was about to make the first move or if he was getting ready to run away. What of it was the latter? Yugi didn’t want him to go! He had to do _something_!

“A-Atem, how about we dance? Maybe then it won’t be so … weird…?”

They shot each other shy glances.

“Y-Yes. Good idea”, Atem said and for a second Yugi felt a little less tense. They stood up, stepped into an area where they had more space, and got into the starting position. Atem had one hand on Yugi’s lower back and Yugi one on Atem’s shoulder. While the closeness still excited Yugi he knew what they were doing wouldn’t anger the gods – yet.

“On 3”, Yugi said. “1,2,3.”

They began with the basic steps of a waltz. Atem’s movements were wooden and his eyes darted to their feet over and over. Yugi gave him a smile.

“You don’t need to be nervous. You’re actually a really good dancer.”

Atem laughed.

“Only when it’s you leading me, my prince. Like at the New Year’s Ball.”

“You remember that…?”, Yugi said, feeling a little warmer.

“Of course. You shared your last dance of the year with me, much to the dismay of your admirers. Right after midnight they cornered you again and I saved you from them. And then…”

Their steps became slower.

“We walked and ended up right under the winter roses. Where couples … kiss on New Year’s.”

Yugi still remembered how his intestines had turned to stone when Atem had kissed his hand instead.

“My prince …” Atem chewed his bottom lip, struggling to find the right words. “Back then, I … I didn’t mean to turn you down… I just … I feared it could damage your reputation if you were … kissed by a commoner.”

Yugi’s eyes widened.

“So you … wanted to kiss me…?”

Atem stopped the dance, his mouth twisted in fear.

“I… Uhm… I mean… Only if you had allowed it of course…!”

Joy blossomed inside Yugi. He didn’t dare to believe what he was hearing …!

“I … I would have allowed it, you know … and I … I still would …”

Atem stared at him, slowly turning scarlet. Yugi’s cheeks were glowing as well and for a moment, they just stood there.

“M-My prince…!”, Atem said and Yugi winced at the unexpected loudness. “M-May I … kiss you now…?”

Yugi was flooded by warmth. Was he really not dreaming? The handsome, gentle, kind man across from him was really asking for a…!

“Y-Yes”, Yugi whispered. Atem hesitated, maybe unsure himself how to handle a situation he never thought possible. Yugi’s pulse quickened as his face came closer, stopped for a second to check for any signs of rejection, then moved further. Yugi felt Atem’s warm breath on his skin and then a pair of lips against his own. Excitement coursed through Yugi’s veins and he believed to be falling through clouds. Could it be true…? A kiss from Atem…!

Yugi’s knees wobbled and he was about to lose his balance but Atem wrapped both arms around him. Yugi clung to Atem’s shirt in response. Their torsos pressed against one another and Yugi’s heartbeat skyrocketed. They had never been so close…! But instead of cherishing that fact, Yugi could only think about one thing: more…!

He leaned forward for a second kiss. Atem gave a surprised sound that turned into one of relish a moment later. His lips were a little chapped, yet gentler than Lord Otogi’s and probably any other in the world. To Yugi, they were perfect.

They stopped only once they had to breathe but after one gasp Atem already moved closer for a third one. They repeated that heavenly cycle until Yugi felt dizzy after the 7th kiss. Atem loosened the embrace and Yugi was seized by cold fear of rejection. But Atem only guided Yugi to the sofa and they sat down. Yugi’s knees buckled and he fell on the upholstery.

Atem put an arm around him and pulled Yugi into another hug for another kiss. Everything was warm and tingly and all the thrill left Yugi feeling weak. Yet, he felt safe because it was Atem holding him with his strong, tender arms but in a way that assured Yugi that he could leave any time if he wanted to.

In between kisses, Atem caressed Yugi’s cheek and lips with his thumb, a dreamy smile on his face. Yugi now and then brushed strands of blond hair out of Atem’s handsome face, staring into the eyes that were as red and gentle as rose petals. If only this moment could last forever…!

“So… Are you … comfortable with all this…?”, Atem whispered. Yugi gulped. He had almost forgotten how to speak.

“Y-Yes… I probably shouldn’t say it but I … I like it. A lot…”

“Good…” He cupped Yugi’s face with one palm. “I’d never want to hurt you, my prince. I want to protect you. Always.”

Yugi placed his hand on Atem’s and nuzzled against his warm skin.

“Thank you, Atem. I always feel safe when I’m with you.”

Atem moved closer, sincerity sparkling in his eyes.

“My prince, I … I …”

Yugi leaned in, his heart fluttering with hope for even more wonderful words.

“Yes…?”

Atem opened his mouth but then he ended his grip and Yugi felt as if he had been tossed into snow.

“I … I think I should go back to my cabin now”, Atem said without looking at Yugi.

“Oh… Certainly.”

Only now Yugi noticed that two candles had gone out already. Once more, heat stole into Yugi’s cheeks as he wondered how much time they had spent with kissing.

They stood up, even though Yugi’s legs were so wobbly he had to hold on to other pieces of furniture. They walked to the door and Atem bowed with a hand on his heart.

“My prince.”

“Y-You know, Atem…” Yugi rubbed his neck. “When it’s just us … it’d be fine if you … called me by my name…”

Atem blinked, surprised.

“That’s… Thank you for the offer, my prince. I mean … _Yugi_.”

A warm shiver went through Yugi. How personal it felt…!

“Good night then, Atem.”

“Good night … Yugi.”

Both smiled shyly as Atem reached for the handle and left the room. Yugi caressed his own lips. Atem had really kissed him…! Not once but more times than he cared to count. Yugi felt so light he believed to be able to fly. He danced towards his bed and fell backwards on the mattress. For the first time in months, he could just feel happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
>  • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
>  • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
>  • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
>  • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
>  • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	17. Trust

Kisses, kisses, kisses. That was all Yugi could think about. Atem sneaked into his cabin every night. They spent hours on that couch, arm in arm, enjoying every oh so gentle touch. If only it could last forever!

Yugi was taking a stroll over the deck. The rustling and splashing of the waves had become a constant background noise. The sky was as dark as ink and thousands of stars were glimmering. Did it look even more beautiful than usual?

He inhaled the fresh, cold air and breathed it out in a small, white cloud that warmed his gloved hands. His spirits rose when he spotted Atem at the bow of the ship, Lord Otogi next to him. Yugi almost danced towards Atem.

“Atem, you have to do it and you know it”, Lord Otogi said.

“But… But…”

“You have only one week left. And the prince surely won’t mind.”

“What won’t I mind?”, Yugi said, brows now furrowed. Atem flinched but Lord Otogi remained calm.

“Just a few steps concerning your preparation for adulthood”, Lord Otogi said with a smirk. Yugi took a step back and checked every direction. Luckily, they were alone.

“I doubt that’s any of your business”, Yugi hissed.

“Is it so hard to believe that I care about you, my prince? No, don’t answer that. I just felt it was my duty to remind you that we don’t have time for a slow romance, as beautiful as those may be.”

“I know!”, Yugi said.

“Oh, I wasn’t referring to you. Enjoy your appointment. I have one myself in my cabin. Good night.”

Lord Otogi patted Atem’s shoulder and walked away.

“What was he talking about?”, Yugi asked. Atem scratched his head.

“I… Uhm… Let’s go below deck, shall we?”

Yugi nodded. They walked into Yugi’s cabin on different paths so no one would see them together. Yugi arrived first and let Atem in only a few moments later. Atem helped Yugi out of his coat, then took off his own. While Yugi still had to wear two undershirts and three pairs of socks to protect himself from the cold, the lack of icy winds made the cabin a lot more pleasant than the deck.

Both rid themselves of their scarves and gloves. Yugi sat down on the couch, expecting Atem to join him. But he remained standing and played with the hem of his vest.

“Is everything all right?”, Yugi said.

“Y-Yes. It’s just… Uhm… I think we should try something else today.”

“And what is that…?”

“I think we should”, Atem gestured at Yugi’s bed, “go there.”

It was as if all air was squeezed out of Yugi’s lungs by those words. He needed a moment to process them and the fact that Atem had just said them.

“But … isn’t the ritual supposed to be the … first time…?”

Atem’s eyes widened until they were as round as the moon.

“N-No, no, no! I don’t mean… We shouldn’t go that far yet! Just … kissing on the bed…!”

The knot inside Yugi loosened and he gave a sigh of relief.

“A-All right then.”

It did seem a reasonable next step. Still, Yugi only slowly approached the bed and hesitated before he lay down on one side. Atem joined him on the other and Yugi felt the mattress shift under his weight. He had lain down at the edge and left a gap between them. Yugi stared at the wooden ceiling.

The emotional and physical tension from the evening they had first kissed was back and none of them dared to move. A few times over the past days Yugi had believed to be more than ready for the ritual but now just lying in the same bed as Atem overwhelmed him. Fantasising about it and actually doing it really were two different things.

To think that only one week was left… He had thought they had taken a huge leap towards a pleasurable night by kissing so often but now Yugi knew it had only been a baby step. So many questions popped up in his mind and the urge for answers became stronger than the awkwardness between him and Atem.

“So… Atem…” Yugi fidgeted with the buttons of his vest. “When we do _it_ … do you think it will … hurt…?”

“Uhm… I hope not… At least I’ll try my best to prevent that… That means … if you choose to be the … bottom…”

Yugi remembered the words ‘top’ and ‘bottom’ from the blue, little book. Even though it had offered no clear definition Yugi had guessed it from context. Heat stole into Yugi’s cheeks as he opened his mouth for words he had never thought being able to say:

“I think I want to be a bottom … because it’s my only chance to know what it’s like … to…”

Yugi couldn’t speak further. He glanced at Atem and saw a small smile on his lips.

“G-Good. I’d prefer the top anyway… So I guess … that’s settled?”

“Oh. Y-Yeah. Good.” He didn’t dare to believe that Atem had just agreed to… The thought made Yugi dizzy but it also awoke more questions. “I only wonder if… I mean, it seems to be pleasurable in the book but…”

“But what…?”

“But…” Yugi covered his face with his hands. “Oh goodness, please don’t tell anyone!”

Atem propped himself up on one arm.

“Of course I won’t, my prince… I mean, Yugi. I would never betray your trust.”

The sincerity in Atem’s voice eased Yugi’s shame a little. He propped himself up on one arm as well.

“The thing is…”, he whispered. “I may have touched myself before here.” He placed a hand on his butt. “And it was pleasurable but it also … hurt.”

“Did you use oil or anything like that …?”

“N-No. What for?”

“You see, there are certain oils, especially for that purpose. To lubricate that part. So it doesn’t hurt when…”

Yugi covered his mouth with one palm.

“Oh! I had no idea… Now I understand how they can go that far in the blue, little book…”

“Y-Yeah…” Atem rubbed his neck. “It’s what makes it possible at all. If we use enough it won’t hurt. I’ll be careful, I promise.”

Slowly, the corners of Yugi’s mouth curled into a smile. Another one of Yugi’s worries had been resolved by Atem’s kindness and consideration.

“That’s good to know. Uhm… There’s something else…”, Yugi said.

“Yes…?”

Yugi hesitated, then turned to the bedside table behind himself and took the blue, little book out of it. Once he was facing Atem again, he leafed through it.

“H-How are we going to do it? I mean… In which position…?”

The gods should have struck him with lightning for these words! But they didn’t seem to think it was bad and neither did Atem.

“Well… What would you like…?”, he said.

Yugi had to hold himself back so he didn’t blurt out: “All of them!” Every single one fascinated Yugi in a way but even with no experience he could tell that some of them required more skill than he had – and a lot of flexibility. Yugi turned to the page that showed one man on his back with his legs spread, the other lying on top of him.

“M-Maybe this one…?”

He showed it to Atem with shaky hands.

“Yeah, we can do that.”

A hot wave of awkwardness swept through Yugi. How could Atem say that so casually? Almost as if it was … natural.

“R-Really…?”

“Yeah. I’d like it too because that way I can look at you and see if you’re comfortable. And if it doesn’t feel right we can still change. We’ll have the whole night to figure it out after all.”

He chuckled without looking at Yugi. Warmth filled Yugi’s chest at those words. That warmth turned into a bolt of energy that Yugi couldn’t hold back. He dropped the book and moved forward so Atem landed on his back, Yugi’s head on his shoulder. As always, a scent of sandalwood came from Atem’s skin and clothes.

“I’m so happy I’ll do this with you, Atem. I know I don’t ever have to be afraid when I’m with you.”

“Of course not. I’ll always keep you safe.” Atem wrapped his arms around Yugi and Yugi felt so warm as if he had been covered by a blanket. “Can you promise me something…?”

The gentle vibrations of Atem’s baritone voice made Yugi shiver.

“Anything…”

“Please, always tell me if I’m going too far. I’ll stop the second you ask me to.”

“I will. But that also goes for you.”

Atem nodded.

“Promise.”

Happiness flowed through Yugi. How lucky he was to be doing this with someone who cared for him so, so much. How could Yugi not be in love with that patient and tender man right next to him?

Atem’s torso rose and fell with every breath he took. His fingertips brushed Yugi’s arm and back and left a tingling trail behind. Yugi placed a palm on Atem’s chest, and beneath the cloth of a white shirt Yugi felt a beating heart. His hand moved lower to Atem’s stomach and a little gasp escaped Yugi’s throat.

“Hmm?”, Atem said.

“It’s just… Your stomach is … really hard”, Yugi whispered.

“Well… I do work out daily…”

Yugi gulped as he realised that all of Atem’s body was well-trained, from his arms to his calves. Of course he had noticed it before but only now he realised that in a week he’d have that lean, hard body on top of himself. The realisation made Yugi feel dizzy.

“I like that. I like … your body.”

“Th-Thanks. I like yours too…”, Atem said.

Yugi’s heart danced with excitement.

“R-Really…?”

“Y-Yes. You’re so slim and dainty… I always thought that you’re beautiful.”

Was Yugi really not dreaming? Atem had just admitted to considering him … attractive…! The giddiness over all his gave Yugi the courage to raise his head, look into Atem’s scarlet eyes, and kiss him.

Atem neither returned nor rejected it. Yugi was about to apologise for being too straightforward but the second their lips parted Atem had already placed a hand on Yugi’s head and pulled him closer for another kiss. Yugi leaned into it, relishing the softness of Atem’s lips.

Atem moved forward, making Yugi lie down on his back and looking up at Atem with wide eyes. Worry filled Atem’s expression.

“Was that too far…?”, he whispered.

“N-No.” Yugi wrapped his arms around Atem’s neck. “It’s just … new. Please … go on.”

Yugi’s pulse quickened as Atem did like Yugi asked. How overwhelming it was and at the same time Yugi didn’t want it to end. Atem’s body was muscular and heavy and Yugi felt a little trapped, even though he knew Atem would release him the second he asked him to. It was as if his lungs contained a lot less air and he had to breathe a lot faster in order not to faint.

They took a break only when they absolutely had to and continued after one or two gasps of air. Yugi’s body temperature rose and reached a peak whenever Atem slightly opened his mouth and touched Yugi’s tongue with his own.

Yugi loved every second of the intensity, loved the shiver that went through him, especially his groin, loved the sparks, and the hunger for more. But then, suddenly and out of nowhere, Yugi had enough. He felt as if he was drowning and he needed to return to the surface.

He wriggled under Atem and Atem jerked back immediately. Yugi was free and inhaled deeply.

“I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to…”, Atem said.

“No… It wasn’t you, Atem…” He looked to the side, cheeks glowing. “It was wonderful but from one second to another it just completely … turned. I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to ruin it…”

“You didn’t.” Atem brushed a blond strand out of Yugi’s face. “You still need to get used to all of this. That’s why we’re doing this, right?”

Yugi chuckled.

“Right.”

They returned to their previous position, Yugi’s head on Atem’s shoulder and Atem’s arms around him. Yugi’s heartbeat normalised and instead of dangerous and exciting the warmth he felt now was tender and safe. If they had been lying there long enough, Yugi might have fallen asleep. But before that could happen Atem took his pocket watch out of his vest pocket and said:

“So late already. I think I should go to my own cabin now.”

“Y-Yeah”, Yugi said, without meaning it. Yugi’s legs still were a little shaky when they rose and walked to the door.

“Well, then … good night, Yugi.”

How handsome he looked when he smiled…! Still drunk from all the feelings Atem had granted him today, Yugi cupped Atem’s face, and gave him another kiss.

“Good night, Atem.”

They were lost in each other’s eyes for a little longer until Atem remembered to leave the room. Yugi leaned against the white wood, already longing for tomorrow night … and the ones after that … until the night of the ritual was finally here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
> • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
> • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
> • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
> • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
> • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	18. A Slip of the Tongue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet readers! So glad you guys liked the fluffiness of the last chapter! Now prepare for some drama~

Yugi was pacing his cabin, now and then glancing through the window at the moon. The next time he saw it it’d be on a Kallian island where he’d take the ritual with Atem. This really was the last night of preparation…!

But where was Atem? In his desire 5 minutes of being late felt like an eternity! He opened the door and checked the dark corridors. No one was there.

Yugi left his room and wanted to make his way to Atem’s. But before he could reach the stairs he stopped before Lord Otogi’s cabin. A constant squeaking and muffled moans came from inside. It was as if Yugi’s body turned to ice.

Lord Otogi and his maid, they were…! Right now! By the gods!

Yugi hurried the other way. In an instant, his face has turned so hot someone must have set it on fire. The worst part was that if his shame hadn’t been stronger he might have listened for a little longer. How could he be so rotten on the inside…?!

He bumped into someone and almost shrieked. But then he realised it was Atem.

“There you are. I was just at your cabin but no one answered”, he said.

“Oh. S-Sorry”, Yugi said. They returned to Yugi’s room and as the door closed, Yugi realised something. What he had just heard at Lord Otogi’s – there was no reason for him to feel awkward or even jealous. In less than 24 hours he’d experience all this himself. A warm shiver danced down Yugi’s spine and he couldn’t suppress a grin.

Both walked to the bed and lay down. Cuddling up to Atem and placing his head on Atem’s shoulder was now much easier than it had been a week ago. But it was still just as warm and pleasant and Yugi still enjoyed the scent of sandalwood oil from Atem’s clothes and skin.

“So… Tomorrow we’ll…”, Yugi whispered.

“Y-Yeah.” Atem nuzzled his cheek against Yugi’s head. “Are you scared…?”

“Surprisingly … no. What about you…?”

“Me neither.”

How unbelievable it was! Not only had they kissed every night the past two weeks. Their kisses had become more and more fiery each time. To think that tomorrow they’d be allowed to completely let go of those reins of composure…! The thought made Yugi dizzy.

“I know I shouldn’t say it but I … I want it”, Yugi whispered. Atem gulped. He hesitated but then he answered:

“I shouldn’t say it either but … me too.”

“R-Really…?”, Yugi said and looked up at him. As an answer, Atem cupped Yugi’s face with one hand and kissed him. Yugi closed his eyes, relishing Atem’s gentle lips. Their fingers entwined and soon they were rolling over the bed. But this time something was different.

The fire coursing through Yugi’s veins was wilder and hungrier. Heat pooled in his groin as their embrace and their kisses became less gentle and more passionate. What would have intimidated Yugi not long ago was now a challenge he was willing to take. It made him feel alive in a way he had hardly known before.

Atem’s lips wandered over Yugi’s jaw and neck. He pinned Yugi’s wrists against the mattress and let his hands run over Yugi’s waist and hips. Desire sparkled in Atem’s eyes as he examined Yugi’s body. Yugi wouldn’t have minded if he had ripped those pesky clothes off him. Instead, he bent forward for more kisses and Yugi wrapped his thighs around him.

“Oh Atem…!”, Yugi whispered but Atem couldn’t answer. Something animalistic had taken him over and all he could think about was the man below him. He rubbed himself against Yugi and Yugi returned the rhythmic movements with his hips. It was all so new and overwhelming but Yugi had to have more, even if he drowned in those feelings.

A gasp escaped Yugi’s throat when he felt a bulge between Atem’s legs. Yugi’s thirst hit another spike and he was ready to give up all sophistication and manners if only he could become Atem’s…! They belonged together, they always had…! Both in body and soul…!

“Atem…”, Yugi whispered, his head swirling with longing. “Let’s do it now… I don’t care about the ritual… I need you so much… Atem, I … I love you…!”

For a moment, Yugi felt as if a big weight had been lifted from his heart now that he had finally confessed the truth. But then Atem got off him, his eyes wide and filled with dread and suddenly Yugi’s heart felt heavier than a rock.

“Y-You really…?”

Everything inside Yugi contracted. What had he done?! He looked away.

“I… I…”

Yugi tried to come up with an excuse but nothing came to his mind. Before he could form another word Atem shot up. He pulled his shirt out of his pants to hide the bulge in his groin and hurried towards the door.

“I have to… I’m sorry, my prince…! I shouldn’t have…!”

He reached for the handle but Yugi shot up and clutched Atem’s torso from behind.

“No, no, no, you don’t need to be sorry…! It’s not like that, I just…”

Yugi didn’t know himself where that sentence was supposed to go. He only wanted Atem to stay…!

“Yes, I do need to be sorry. It was a mistake, the whole decision to agree to the ritual, I should never have…!”, Atem said and it was as if an arrow pierced Yugi’s heart. His grip around Atem loosened without him controlling it. Atem took a deep breath and without looking at Yugi he said: “I’m sorry, my prince.”

He opened the door and left, leaving back Yugi, overcome by cold shame and fear.

 

Yugi lay awake almost all night. He had been so sure the ritual would be a wonderful experience for both of them. But now his lack of control had ruined everything and disgusted Atem so much he couldn’t even be in the same room with Yugi.

That’s why the gods forbade these feelings in the first place! If he had never let these primitive instincts take him over his tongue wouldn’t have slipped! Yugi didn’t even dare to touch the Sacred Scrolls for consolation.

The sun rose above the horizon and just as a servant had finished helping Yugi get dressed, a call sounded through the ship:

“Land ahoy! Land ahoy!”

For a moment, Yugi forgot about the tense feeling in his chest and hurried to the deck. Most sailors and servants had already gathered, cheering and pointing into the distance. Yugi leaned against the rail and discovered a patch of green in the distance. He smiled.

Lord Otogi appeared beside him and took a deep breath.

“Home, sweet home”, he said. “And it’s pretty warm, like I promised.”

Only now Yugi noticed that he had run upstairs without a coat. A cool breeze still blew but he wasn’t freezing. The sky was mostly grey but a couple of holes in the clouds were letting in rays of light and revealed blue spots.

“It’s because of some warm currents, right?”, Yugi said.

“Right. But don’t get used to it too much. The capital should still be as cold as the continent. By the way, why did Atem just go the long way to the rail just to avoid you?”

Lord Otogi nodded at another part of the deck where some royal guards had gathered, Atem among them. Their eyes met and Yugi’s pulse quickened. Yugi looked at the waves below them.

“I don’t know”, he mumbled.

“Really? You were almost inseparable since the the start of the journey and now…?”

“It doesn’t matter!”, Yugi said, silently cursing Lord Otogi for noticing these things.

“I think it does. Tonight you’ll lose your virginity to him after all.”

Yugi smacked Lord Otogi’s arm, his cheeks burning.

“Will you be quiet!”

Lord Otogi smirked.

“Ah, forgive me. But be honest, you should be on good terms if it’s supposed to happen tonight. It looked rather promising between you two over the last days. I had my hopes up for you.”

“Of course you had”, Yugi said, leaned against the rail, and crossed his arms.

“It’s true, my prince. I’m not the jealous type and I want you to have a good experience tonight.”

He said those words so sincerely Yugi couldn’t snap back at him.

“I just… I don’t know what to do…”

“Well, you have enough diplomatic experience to know that communication is the key to pretty much everything. I assume there are reasons why you’re not attempting that route?”, Lord Otogi said, brushing some black strands out of his face.

“Y-Yes…”

“And I assume you can’t tell me about them. Well, I can’t mediate if I don’t know the problem. I could however deliver a message if you ask me to.”

Yugi rubbed his arms. Despite the higher temperatures he was starting to feel cold.

“I don’t mean to offend you but I doubt that Atem will listen to you”, Yugi said. Lord Otogi chuckled.

“This may be true but my offer stands. Besides…” He laid one arm around Yugi and whispered: “If your conflict remains unsolved and Atem refuses to make an adult out of you, I’m still at your disposal…”

Yugi freed himself and hurried below deck. Of course Lord Otogi had _that_ in mind! But as much as he hated to admit it, he considered Lord Otogi’s offer to deliver a message.

He could let him tell Atem that it’d be fine if he had changed his mind about the ritual, no matter what he had promised the queen or what his sense of honour told him. It’d break Yugi’s heart if Atem turned him down. But knowing that he had forced Atem into something that should in the very least be consensual… Yugi would never be able to forgive himself for that.

Yugi stopped walking and inhaled deeply. He gathered all the courage and dignity he had and turned around in order to ask Lord Otogi for his assistance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
> • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
> • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
> • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
> • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
> • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	19. At the Temple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this one, especially Otogi's story. Have fun!

Before noon the ship had reached the island’s harbour. The captain took the opportunity to restock on a few things he couldn’t get cheaper anywhere else. The servants explored the market and the beaches, excited to get a first glimpse of the country they had heard a lot but knew little about.

The leader of the royal guard was sceptic about Yugi’s plan to spend a whole day away from the ship with only Atem and Otogi, even though he would remain incognito. Lord Otogi reminded him that the queen had given her permission so Yugi could experience a bit of Kallian culture before he arrived at the capital’s court. Besides, even if any danger arose, Atem was still there to protect the prince.

Yugi came to the deck  with a light jacket, and a hat in his hands.  His clothes were simple for royal standards but still of high quality.  Most of the clouds had disappeared by now and the sun’s warmth almost made it feel like an early summer’s day. Lord Otogi was already waiting near the rail. He examined Yugi’s clothes.

“Good, good. Inconspicuous but fancy enough for such a special occasion”, he said. He had chosen his own clothes in the same style.

“My lord…” Yugi chewed on his bottom lip. “Have you delivered my message to Atem…?”

Lord Otogi sighed.

“I have. I told him that he still had a chance to withdraw from the ritual but he didn’t want to hear any of it. He also wasn’t interested in resolving whatever conflict is going on between you two. I’m sorry.”

The tense feeling in Yugi’s chest remained. So Atem hadn’t withdrawn his consent to the ritual but if he didn’t want to talk  e ither … what did this mean? Should they just act as if Yugi’s love confession never happened? Or should Yugi take charge and choose Lord Otogi for the ritual after all…?  But if this was his only chance to spend the night with another man … and if Atem was still willing…

“Are you ready?”, a voice said and Yugi flinched. Atem had joined them in just as simple clothes and with a  grim expression on his face. His and Yugi’s eyes only met for a second.

“Y-Yes”, Yugi said and put on his hat.

A little later, they left the ship and entered the harbour. It took Yugi a few minutes to get used to a ground beneath his feet that wasn’t moving. Many sailors and traders were whispering and pointing at their ship.

“Isn’t that a royal ship? One from Dareia?”

“I heard the prince is on there, the one who’s as beautiful as an angel! Has anyone seen him yet?”

“No, I’m pretty sure I’d remember if I saw someone  _that_ pretty.”

Yugi hid his face in his scarf and avoided looking at anyone. Even though it was rather small, the harbour was loud and full and overwhelming after two rather quiet weeks on the ship. People joked, called, whispered in a language Yugi yet had to get used to despite having studied it for a few years.

Lord Otogi guided them to a calmer part of the harbour where only boats and small er ships had docked.  Among them was a ferry that, according to a sign, took people  to  even smaller islands not far from this one. Lord Otogi paid for all three  of them  and they got on board. Only ten other passengers were there and they were either talking to each other, reading a book, or playing with their children. None of them paid any attention to the three men on a bench at the ship’s stern.

They got off at the first stop. On this island, there were fewer people on the streets than on the main one. The houses were small but far apart from each other. Some seemed to belong to farms. In the distance, Yugi heard a few dogs bark.

Lord Otogi asked for directions a few times and soon they had left the village and were on a stone path in a forest. Most of the way lead uphill and soon drops of sweat began to run down Yugi’s forehead. He stuffed his scarf into his bag and now and then fanned himself with his hat. Many flowers lined the path and filled the air with a fresh and pleasant smell.

Lord Otogi did his best to uphold a conversation. He joked about how exhausting the way to the temple was and pointed out different trees and plants that were exclusive to this part of Kallias. Yugi replied as well as he could but Atem remained silent.

He had his brows furrowed the entire time and Yugi knew it wasn’t in concentration or determination to protect Yugi. Was he doubting his decision after all? But Yugi had offered him a way out and he hadn’t taken it.

Maybe this was his punishment for his lust: getting the very thing he desired but in a way that made it impossible for him to enjoy only one second of it. Would Yugi forever remember this as the night everything that had once connected him and Atem would be tainted? But even with that prospect Yugi was willing to take whatever he could get as long as it was a small piece of Atem’s closeness… How rotten he was…!

“There we are”, Lord Otogi said and Yugi raised his head. The building before them had two stories and was made of red stone. The forecourt had statues of different gods and two ponds. Yugi tried to remember for what holiday people had their deepest wishes carved into stones and threw them into those ponds but his heart was pounding too fast to concentrate.

So here it was. The place where he’d lose his virginity, if it would turn out pleasurable or not. Where he’d commit a sin the gods may never forgive him for. Where – in Kallian eyes – Atem would make an adult out of him.

“So, shall we go on? Or is there a matter that needs to be discussed before that?”, Lord Otogi said. Yugi gulped. He had to force himself to look at Atem.

“Is there, Atem …?”, Yugi said. “If you want to change your mind I won’t stop you.”

Atem pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes squinted. He did seem to be fighting with himself. One part of Yugi wanted to yell at him to finally say no if he was so unsure, another wanted to beg him not to reject him. He only had this one night with another man and he wanted nothing more than to spend it with Atem.

Atem straightened his posture and with his eyes on the temple he said:

“I’m ready.”

Relief flooded Yugi  but it was replaced with regret almost immediately. Atem may consent but only out of duty and because he had made a promise to the queen. Maybe Yugi should focus on the same things and see it as a part of his mission.

He took a deep breath and started walking. The double doors were open and lead into a hall with rows of benches. It smelled of incense that had been burnt not long ago. At the end of the aisle stood a shrine with lots of small flickering candles. The paintings on the walls and ceiling were beautiful but too gaudy in Yugi’s opinion and he disliked the violent depictions of the gods killing their enemies.

Their steps on the marble floor echoed through the silence. Yugi was about to call for someone when a grey-haired woman in a red robe appeared from a chamber behind the shrine.

“Welcome, my children. I’m the Revered Mother of this temple”, she said, even though Yugi had already guessed it from her three golden necklaces. “How can I help you?”

Yugi cleared his throat, his pulse quickening. He really had to speak the words…

“I’m… I’m here for the maturity ritual.”

She furrowed her brows.

“That accent… Are you from the continent?”

“Uhm … yes.”

In his nervousness he really was pronouncing the Kallian words in an obviously Dareian way. Even though he had practised so much in order to minimise his accent…!

“Why would someone from the continent want to take the maturity ritual? Are you even part of the old faith?”, she said.

“Well…”

Having to explain an issue that was so complicated and touchy – and in another language as well – overwhelmed Yugi. In his concern over Atem he had forgotten to prepare his words and now he was unarmed and had to look like a fool.

“You see, Revered Mother, it’s a long story.” Lord Otogi stepped forward and laid one arm around Yugi. “This young man is Heba, the son of a viscount in the very south of Dareia. And this…”, he laid his other arm around Atem, “…is Yami. He’s a soldier in the viscount’s services. Or he was until…”

He gave a pained sigh and the Revered Mother’s eyes widened.

“What do you mean? What happened?”, she said.

“You see, the two fell in love over a year ago at the annual harvest festival. But they had to keep their relationship secret from the viscount. You know how narrow-minded Dareians can be…” Yugi shot him a glare but remained silent. “A few weeks ago the viscount walked in on them kissing in a barn and the resulting fight… Oh, it was horrible! The viscount even wanted to hang poor Yami and what for? For finding his one true love?!”

There Revered Mother clutched her chest.

“How horrible! What happened then?”, she said and Yugi had to admit that he wanted to know as well.

“One night Heba came to me, crying and begging me to help him save his loved one from the gallows! Of course, I had to help as their close friend. It was a risky operation but we freed poor Yami from the dungeons.”

“And then? Did the viscount see the errors of his ways?”, she said but Lord Otogi shook his head.

“Quite the opposite. The viscount was now even more furious so I saw only one way for this young couple: to run away to a place where no one would forbid them to be together. And that place is Kallias.” He squeezed Yugi’s shoulder. “Heba was willing to leave back his father and four siblings if it meant saving his darling’s life! If that isn’t true love, I don’t know what is!”

“Neither do I!” The Revered Mother took a handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed the corners of her eyes. “And you came all the way here?”

“Precisely. All that these two want is to settle down and get married. But as you know that will only be possible if Heba can take the maturity ritual first. Please, Revered Mother, help this desperate couple out.”

Yugi didn’t even have time to give Lord Otogi an appreciative look for this dramatic story. The Revered Mother had already wrapped her arms around him, sniffing.

“I had no idea… You left everything behind for the person you love…! What a brave soul you are…!” She loosened her embrace to look him in the eyes. “But if none of you is of the old belief I’m afraid at least one of you has to convert first.”

“No worries.” Lord Otogi pushed Atem forward. “Yami is half Kallian and he was raised in the old ways. Come on, prove it.”

Atem growled something and tugged on his collar to show the tattoo on his lower neck. The Revered Mother clapped her hands.

“Perfect! I’ll have everything prepared! Oh, and if you”, she placed a hand on Yugi’s shoulder, “want to convert after all you’re welcome to. Our gods are far more merciful anyway.”

“So I heard”, Yugi said, even though to him the old gods seemed just a lot more lenient when it came to adultery, violence, and murder.

“And if you want to celebrate your wedding right after that, I’ll have that arranged as well”, she said and heat stole into Yugi’s face.

“I’m afraid we’ll need to do that somewhere else but thank you for the offer”, Lord Otogi said.

“Oh, certainly. And to think that your family can’t be here to witness the beginning of your adulthood…! Don’t worry, we’ll make it a wonderful event either way. Where exactly are you from?”, she said. Yugi’s eyes darted to Lord Otogi.

“You see, Revered Mother, I’m afraid Heba still has troubles getting used to the Kallian language and Yami isn’t all that talkative after the hardships he faced in the dungeons. You can direct all your questions to me though”, Lord Otogi said.

“Very good because I have so many! Oh but please, come with me”, she said and guided them into another part of the temple. Yugi took a mental note to compliment Lord Otogi on the elaborate lie once they were alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
> • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
> • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
> • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
> • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
> • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


	20. The Ritual begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Yugi to become an adult! Ah, I love making up these customs and all! I could almost believe that this is an actual ritual lol. Enjoy!

Yugi paced the room, looked out the window over and over, and watched with both fear and anticipation how the sun drew closer to the horizon. Atem was sitting on a couch in a corner, tapping his foot and playing with a pocket knife. Lord Otogi was seated on a chair at a round table in the middle of the room and picked a grape from one of the bowls in front of him.

“You really should eat something, both of you. It’ll be several hours until we celebrate”, he said.

“I can’t”, Yugi mumbled and Atem didn’t reply at all.

“Suit yourself. The priests seem to be preparing a real feast though, judging by all the tumult. That’s Kallian hospitality for you! But the fact that not much happens on these islands probably plays a role too. The dramatic story I made up for you two is maybe the most exciting thing they heard in years…”

Yugi listened only halfway. He walked past a chest of drawers and spotted a copy of the Sacred Scrolls on top of it. It was the Kallian, the old version while Yugi had grown up with the new one. Nevertheless, he picked it up and leafed through it, hoping to find something calming. Many passages were the same in both interpretations after all.

“Section 23”, Lord Otogi said, a piece of bread in his hand. “That should be what you’re looking for.”

Yugi furrowed his brows but turned to said section. Hot embarrassment seized him when the first picture he found was that of two naked people in a tight embrace. According to the description those two people where the goddess of the earth and the god of the sky. How could they depict two gods in such a sinful way?!

Yugi stared at Lord Otogi but he only returned a smirk. He was enjoying Yugi’s awkwardness yet again! But Yugi decided not to let him have that satisfaction. As unaffected and dignified as possible, Yugi walked to an armchair, sat down, and started reading.

While it was also said in the new version that the goddess of the earth and the god of the sky created humanity together, the old one was obsessed with the details. Places, positions, times of the day … How could this be considered a religious scripture?! The creation of the other gods was just as explicit…

Apparently the gods had revealed all this to one of their prophets so she would write it down and grant humans a similar pleasure. While ‘the act’ was considered normal and natural they valued the union of love and desire as the ultimate achievement every human should strive for. One of the passages ended with:

“ _…for a lover’s sigh, uttered in pleasure and passion, is like a song to the god’s ears._ ”

How poetic and beautiful it sounded… But would Yugi even sigh in pleasure or passion? Maybe he’d feel nothing at all? And if he did enjoy it while Atem only did his duty … what would be worse?

The new version advised nobles to be as quick and quiet as possible… Yugi should stick to their teachings and ignore that masked pornography! That way he’d at least not feel too ashamed to look in a mirror when he returned home…

The door opened and Yugi flinched. A priest in a yellow robe entered.

“Everything’s ready. Please come with me”, he said. It was as if Yugi’s limbs had turned to stone. He looked to the ceiling and sent a last prayer of forgiveness to the new gods.

He put the Sacred Scrolls away, stood up, and all three made their way downstairs and outside. Back at the entrance of the temple, about two dozen priests had assembled and were smiling and chatting. The colour of their robes ranged from yellow, to orange, to red and Yugi knew that a darker robe meant a higher rank.

The Revered Mother approached them, now with a golden broach pinned to her scarlet clothes.

“Don’t worry, Heba. Your family may not to be here but every priest of the temple has agreed to be part of the ceremony”, she said and Yugi felt warmth rise in his chest. To him, the custom may still be odd but all these strangers were willing to make it a wonderful memory for him.

“Thank you so much. I appreciate it”, Yugi said.

“Revered Mother, since none of Heba’s parents can be here I’ll act as his guardian”, Lord Otogi said and the Revered Mother beamed at him.

“That’s very kind of you. Shall we begin?”

Yugi took a deep breath. After his answer there would be no turning back.

“Y-Yes”, he said and Atem nodded.

The Revered Mother clapped her hands and the priests made their way into the temple. A moment later, drums, lutes, and rattles began to play a slow piece inside. Adrenaline began to tingle in Yugi’s veins. It was starting to feel as important as a wedding. Lord Otogi took his hand.

“Come, my child”, he said with a grin, a mixture between his usual roguishness and genuine enjoyment to play Yugi’s guardian. Atem walked right beside Yugi but with a gap between them, the Revered Mother in front of all three. In slow, synchronised steps they made their way into the temple, down the aisle, past the benches of which a third was now taken up by priests.

At the shrine, they stopped and so did the music. The Revered Mother turned around and opened her arms.

“I welcome all believers to this special ceremony. Tonight we will witness the beginning of a new chapter in the life of Heba. With the consent of his guardian and his partner for this sacred ritual he will leave his childhood behind and become an adult. All three of you shall now voice that consent so the gods can bless this ceremony.”

Yugi and Lord Otogi turned to each other.

“My child, I hereby agree to let you go from my protection and care. Once the sun has risen again, I promise to let you choose your own path in life. Tonight, Yami shall make an adult out of you.”

A few sobs came from the priests. The Revered mother gestured at Atem and he cleared his throat. He had to force himself to look Yugi in the eyes.

“I hereby agree to show you the path to adulthood. I promise to be a patient and considerate guide. Tonight I shall do my best to teach you the pleasures of the flesh, as the gods have granted them to every human.”

The priests sniffed again and some assumed that Atem sounded only that stiff because he was nervous. Yugi tried to convince himself of the same thing. The Revered Mother now pointed to him with an open hand and Yugi’s pulse quickened more than at any speech he had ever held.

“I hereby agree to leave my guardian’s protection and care. I promise to open my mind and soul to the wonders of pleasure as only adults can experience them. Tonight, I shall leave my childhood behind and enter the next stage of this life.”

The Revered Mother clapped her hands once, looking up at the ceiling.

“Gods, everyone involved has given their consent! Please, accept Heba’s offer of virginity in exchange for adulthood! You shall guide these two and so shall we!”

The priests cheered and then repeated together:

“The gods shall guide them and so shall we!”

The Revered Mother lit a match and two candles in bronze holders on the shrine. She handed the first to Atem.

“As someone who has already reached adulthood you shall carry this flame in your own name.” She gave the other one to Lord Otogi. “As this child’s guardian you shall carry both this flame and the responsibility for him one last time. Now, let us proceed.”

A priest handed her a censer on a silver chain. It was already steaming and the smell of incense reached Yugi’s nose. He, Atem, and Lord Otogi followed her out of the temple, the other priests right behind them. Many had drums, lutes, and rattles with them and nearly all of them were singing. The piece was a little faster than the one before and the lyrics were about the gods’ guidance while growing up.

The procession made their way around the temple into a backyard. They passed statues of the gods and approached another smaller red house made of stone. Behind it were a river and a forest. The sun now glowed in a gentle orange and almost touched the horizon. Despite the warmth, Yugi felt a cold shiver.

Right before the house the path split into two. The Revered Mother turned around and remained standing at the crossroads. Yugi and Lord Otogi followed the left path while Atem took the right one. More priests were already waiting and opened the doors for them. Yugi gulped when they passed the threshold. Now the awkward part came. Well, the first of many.

All windows were hung with thick curtains. Rows and rows of candles illuminated the rooms and clouds of incense wafted through the house. Lord Otogi let go of Yugi’s hand and only now Yugi noticed how much he had squeezed it. Lord Otogi gave him a nod and withdrew into another chamber where he’d be waiting.

The priests guided Yugi into the next room. It was completely tiled and a large square tub was set into the floor in the centre. The priests were chanting songs in the ancient tongue as two of them began to undress Yugi.

His limbs were as heavy as the marble he was surrounded by and barely cooperated as they rid him of his vest, shirt, pants, and finally his underwear. Shame made Yugi lower his head but none of the priests even reacted to his nudity. To them, it was all about the ritual.

Yugi knew what he had to do next and approached the tub. A short set of stairs lead into the steaming water until he was immersed up to the hips. Two other priests had followed him, their robes now floating in the tub. Both washed Yugi’s arms, back, and chest with soft cloths. The warmth and the flowery smell of the bath around him even managed to calm Yugi a little.

Once they stopped, Yugi knew he had to walk up another small set of stairs in front of him to leave the tub. More priests dried his dripping body with a large white towel. Yugi wished he could have kept it but he had to go naked into the next chamber.

Here, Yugi had to step on a short wooden pedestal. Another couple of priests approached him with razors and began to remove all hair from his body. This procedure – or a version that required only partial nudity – was also part of his Dareian hygienic routine and it felt a little less awkward.

Yugi was naturally blessed with little growth of body hair so this part was over rather quickly. Soon they removed the last hairs from Yugi’s skin and rubbed him with an oil to calm the slight burning.

The next priests approached Yugi with brushes and bowls of red colour. They painted Yugi from neck to his ankles with symbols and ornaments. When Lord Otogi had informed him about the ritual’s details and Yugi had asked about the purpose of these markings Lord Otogi had only smirked and said: “You’ll see.”

Once they had drawn the last fine lines on Yugi’s cheeks Yugi stepped down from the pedestal. Two women helped him into a red robe and tied it around Yugi’s waist. First Yugi had been relieved about getting at least one layer of clothing back but to his disappointment the robe barely reached his knees.

In the next room, only Lord Otogi was waiting on a couch. He rose, approached Yugi with a proud smile, and placed his hands on Yugi’s shoulders.

“Ah, look at you! A beautiful flower, ready to be plucked by a very lucky man!”

Yugi’s heart was thudding in his chest so loudly he couldn’t even be annoyed by Lord Otogi’s inappropriate remark.

“I’m nervous”, he whispered.

“And that’s perfectly normal. Just try to enjoy yourself. I’m sure Atem will warm up quickly once you get started. And remember…” He placed a finger under Yugi’s chin to make him look up. “You may lose your virginity tonight but you’ll gain adulthood instead.”

The next doors opened. Before them lay a patch of grass and the shore of the river. Lord Otogi took Yugi’s hand and together they left the house.

The blades of grass tickled Yugi’s feet as they made their way towards a jetty where a boat, decorated with garlands of flowers, was floating on the water. Atem, the Revered Mother, and the other priests were already waiting. Atem was wearing the same robe and the same markings on his skin as Yugi, only his were blue.

Yugi and Lord Otogi reached the wooden jetty and stopped. Yugi’s intestines were contracting with insecurity but all the smiling priests eased his concern a little.

“Heba, this is the last sunset you will witness as a child.” The Revered Mother gestured at the horizon. The glowing orb had already halfway disappeared and painted the sky in a deep red. “You shall now mount this boat and when you return, Yami will have shown you the path to adulthood.”

Lord Otogi patted Yugi’s shoulder.

“Well, my child. Time to say goodbye”, he said and let go of Yugi’s hand. With shaky legs, Yugi stepped to the edge of the jetty. He placed a foot on the boat but it moved a little and Yugi almost fell. Luckily, Atem caught his arm. Their eyes only met briefly before Atem looked away.

“Th-Thanks”, Yugi whispered and mounted the boat. Atem followed him and they sat down on a bench in the back.

“Treat him well, you hear, Yami?”, Lord Otogi said. Atem only replied with a growl.

“Goodbye, you two. May you return as an adult, Heba”, the Revered Mother said and raised a hand. A priest removed a rope that tied the boat to the jetty and three others pushed it into the middle of the river with long sticks. The boat wobbled and Yugi’s fingers clawed at the wood he was sitting on.

A moment later, the boat began to drift down the stream. Lord Otogi, the Revered Mother, and all the priests were waving and wishing them the best and Yugi wondered what he’d feel like when he saw them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary:  
> • Dareia: Yugi’s country, one of the countries of the continental alliance, located in the south east of the continent  
> • Kallias: the country Atem grew up in, destination of Yugi’s mission, consists of many islands, located south-eastern of Dareia, currently recovering from a civil war, lead by Empress Mai  
> • Xanthos: country to the north of the continent, five times as big as the continent, intends to start a war  
> • Eurodokia: country of the continental alliance, close partner of Dareia, located in the west of the continent  
> • Continental Alliance: Alliance of the countries of the continent, has been at peace for 150 years


End file.
